Post by zybala on Dec 15, 2020 8:06:00 GMT -6
~ Welcome back to The Yard, my friends! How y'all doing? Did you get all of your Christmas shopping done? Are you even bothering because of Covid? We hope that if you do go shopping, you buy some Outsiders toys. That's what a TRUE fan would do, You ARE a true fan, right? Why else would you be joining us here on Dystopia! It's a beautiful day in The Yard! 75 degrees and plenty of sunshine! Fans have filled out the seats, the grills are fired up and the shitters are ready to be used. Lucas Thames can be seen sitting ringside, wearing a bright yellow shirt with "SECURITY" embroidered on it in black letters.
The Mariachi Band is playing a mariachi version of "Mad Russian's Christmas", the Trans Siberian Orchestra version. The refrigerator box/announcer table is still standing proudly. Behind the "table" is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and President Dean! They have the headsets and microphones at the ready and Zybala has the laptop for the entrance themes next to him. ~
Dean: Seasons Greetings, mother fuckers and welcome to another episode of Dystopia! I'm the original Outsider, Dean and I'm joined as always by Mike Zybala!
Zybala: Happy Holidays everyone! We got four star level food on the grill, three exciting matches on the card, two people making their Outsiders debut and…
Dean: And a mother fucking partridge in a pear tree!!
~ Dean points to his right and we do see a pear tree with a short-tailed bird with mainly brown plumage. Zybala stares for a moment. ~
Zybala: Where the hell did you get a bird that's native to Europe and some parts of Asia??
Dean: Internet.
Zybala: Fair enough. Belvedere, take it away!
~ We cut over to the ring where Mitch and Belvedere are already waiting. Belvedere raises the microphone and let the games begin! ~
Belvedere: Welcome back to Dystopia, one and all! The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Making his way to the ring first, hailing from Key West, Florida. Weighing in at 155 pounds, he is just another masked guy, JAM G!!!
~ The Yardies cheer as "No One Knows" hits the speakers and JAM G jumps over the fence and leaps into view. He doesn’t get much height. He lands on both feet and looks around, mysteriously. The crowd chants “JAM G!” for one of the Outsider originals. JAM G rushes toward the ring and slides in. He pops to his feet and continues to try to look mysterious. Belvedere continues. :
Belvedere: And his opponent…. making his Outsiders debut…. Hailing from Flavortown USA… representing the NWO…. This is Major Flavor!!
~ Belvedere exits the ring as "Eat It" by Weird Al plays over the speakers. Everyone looks at the house, waiting...expecting… but Major doesn't walk out. From the driveway of one of the side houses, a SS Chvelle comes driving up into the Yard, making its way to the ring. It pulls up behind the seats and out hops Major Flavor! He makes the "too sweet" gesture towards the camera before rolling in the ring. The music stops and Mitch calls for the bell. JAM G and Flavor start to circle each other, looking for an opening as Mitch lights up a blunt. ~
Dean: Are we ever gonna talk about Mitch and his pot issue?
Zybala: What issue?
Dean: The one where he doesn't share…
~ JAM G raises his arms, challenging the Major to lock up. Flavor raises his arms and tells G to bring it on. JAM G moves towards Flavor to lock up and meets air as Flavor ducks under his arms and walks behind the masked guy. Flavor holds up the top sweet hand sign us the fans boo. JAM G quickly turns around and grabs Flavor around the waist, but Flavor just drops to his rear, sliding out of JAM G's grasp. He hops back to his feet with yet another too sweet gesture, annoying the fans and his opponent. JAM G starts yelling at Flavor to take this seriously, only to be met with a discus punch courtesy of Flavor! JAM G staggers back but remains standing, only to be knocked down by a dropkick! JAM G falls to the mat hard and Flavor starts to climb the ropes. ~
Zybala: It looks like Flavor is looking for the third D of his Triple D combo!
Dean: I once dated a girl with triple d's!
Zybala: I married one. I can get away with saying this cuz she never watches Outsiders.
Dean: Don't all wife roll their eyes at our hobby?
~ All meta stuff aside, Flavor is on the top rope. He looks ready to fly until he sees something from the corner of his eye. He hops down and rolls out of the ring. Flavor walks over to the grills and investigates the work of Emilio. Flavor starts yelling at him and The Eastern European about the blandness of their food. He runs over to his car, pumps the trunk, and pulls his pepper grinder and a briefcase. Major then walks back to the grill, places the briefcase on a nearby table and opens it. Inside there is a bunch of spices and seasonings. Flavor shoves Emilio to one side and starts going to work on the grill. JAM G has gotten back to his feet and starts asking Mitch to count out Flavor. Mitch, however, doesn't comply. Instead, he rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the grill. ~
Zybala: The fuck are you doing, Mitch?!
Dean: Aww shit. Mitch has got the munchies, son. With Major making those burgers smell Flavorful, Mitch can't help but to be lured in…
Zybala: They DO smell better than usual.
~ Mitch grabs a plate and a bun from the table near the grill and waits with eagerness. JAM G exits the ring and goes over to complain to Mitch, who only hushes the masked wrestler. Flavor puts a new and improved patty onto Mitch's bun, who then eagerly takes a bite. Tears well up in Mitch's eyes as he enjoys the burger. JAM G starts complaining about Flavor trying to bribe the ref. Mitch turns away from JAM G so he can just enjoy his food. Flavor takes advantage of this as he grabs his pepper grinder and cracks JAM G in the head!! JAM G falls to the grass as the fans boo. Major Flavor quickly hides the pepper grinder, but he didn't need to as Mitch is too enamored with his burger. Flavor gives Emilio and E.E. instructions on how to make better burgers before he drags JAM G across the grass and into the ring. Flavor rolls under the ropes, stands up and throws a too sweet sign in the air while yelling at G to get to his feet. Just Another Masked Guy slowly makes his way to his feet and promptly gets booted in the gut. Flavor celebrates 3:16 as he nails JAM G with a devastating "That's Gangster!!!" (stunner) JAM G falls to his back and Flavor makes the cover. Mitch walks over to the side of the ring, still holding onto his precious burger. He's savoring the flavor. ~
Mitch: One……
Two……
THREE!!!
~ The Yardies boo as Flavor jumps to his feet with his arms held high. He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black sharpie and the boos get louder! ~
Dean: We've seen this before, sucka. JAM G is about to become Just Another MARKED Guy.
Zybala: Looks like the NWO wants to spread from GCWA to here in Outsiders.
~ Major Flavor uncaps the sharpie, rolls JAM G onto his stomach, and draws a large "NWO" on his back. Flavor then exits the ring, gets in his car and drives away, throwing up the "too sweet" the entire time. Belvedere enters the ring and is about to announce the next match when one of the Mariachi Band members runs up to the ring and starts talking to Belvedere in anxious, broken English. Belvedere understands enough to get the gist. He addresses the crowd. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that Bri Carter will NOT be showing up tonight. Apparently, she was not treated kindly in her last outing here and refuses to ever show up again.
~ The fans murmur and boo as Zybala and Dean look at each other. Nobody expected this. They don't have the budget to bring extra wrestlers who aren't on the card to the Yard. They're down a wrestler. Zybala then looks like he has an idea. He starts talking with Dean, who starts shaking his head no. The two start to argue, Zybala saying stuff like "no other way" and Dean replying "No overtime!" Zybala tells Dean to talk to the hand as he stands up to shout at the people in the ring. ~
Zybala: JAM G is pulling double duty tonight, Belvedere! Announce R.D.!
~ Belvedere looks briefly flustered before composing himself like the pro that he is. JAM G looks bewildered as he slowly drags himself to his feet. He shouts at Zybala about more money, and Zybala nods while Dean looks angry. Belvedere raises the microphone. ~
Belvedere: And JAM G's second opponent for the evening…..
~ "Rage 25/8" by Z Mann Zilla starts to play and the fans go wild, not because of who is coming out... but because the song is so dope and fly. Zilla is a truly great underrated artist. The most destructive force on the planet bursts out from the backstage area. That's right... The Raging Dead! He starts his whole huff and puff routine, but takes a look around the Yard and stops. He takes in his surroundings, stares at Zybala and just shrugs. ~
Belvedere: Making his way to the ring... weighing in at two hundred and nineteen pounds... from Ozone Park, New York... THE RAGING DEAD!
~ He looks around the Yard for a bit longer before the Whiteface Thriller makes his way to the ring. On the way, he meets up with a camera man. Raging Dead starts to yell incoherently, but stops when he notices the quality of the camera. He turns towards Zybala again.
Raging Dead: First, a hundred word buffer and now this shitty camera??
Zybala: You knew what you were getting into! Get in the ring and fight.
~ R.D. makes his way into the ring, many questions still on his mind, but decides to worry about it later. The music stops and Mitch checks both wrestlers before calling for the bell. ~
Dean: Round two for JAM G, despite my protests against overtime pay.
Zybala: Nobody else is here that isn't already booked. We don't waste money shipping people here if they aren't scheduled for something.
Dean: Damn straight. We gotta pinch pennies here to keep things afloat.
~ JAM G looks Raging Dead up and down and starts to question every decision in his life that's led him to this point. He lays on his back as the fans boo. G begs Dead to just pin him and get it over with. Dead looks at him and nods with a reassuring smile. As he gets closer to the relieved looking masked man, the smile becomes more savage. Raging Dead grabs JAM G by the head and drags him to his feet. He then starts hitting G with vicious elbows and forearms, driving him into the ropes. The fans cheer for some action happening instead of a cheap pin. Raging Dead keeps hitting JAM G as Mitch starts a five count. Before the ref reaches five, Raging Dead drags JAM G away from the ropes before maneuvering behind the masked wrestler. Raging Dead then nails JAM G in the back of the head, landing the Shockwave (Superkick)!!! JAM G falls forward, landing on the mat with a thud. ~
Dean: It's been nothing but Raging Dead so far in this match.
Zybala: To be fair, JAM G already wrestled. Plus he was never a good fighter to begin with.
Dean: But he's an O.G. Outsider.
Zybala: That's why we keep bringing him here. We take care of our own.
Dean: And Raging Dead is taking care of the violence.
~ Raging Dead drags JAM G to his feet once more and lifts him up to hold him upside down. Raging Dead holds him like that for a bit, letting the blood drain to JAM G's head before dropping him down withDead Weight (Cradle Tombstone Piledriver)!!!! JAM G is spiked to the mat and crumples in a heap. Raging Dead feels like he's done enough and pins JAM G. Mitch makes a mercifully fast three count and calls for the bell. Raging Dead pops back to his feet with arms raised. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…. RAGING DEAD!!
~ Raging Dead leaves the ring and walks over to the announce table. He starts peppering Zybala with questions as he is confused by the very concept of The Yard. We cut to Intermission. ~
INTERMISSION!
~ We cut back from Intermission as fans are getting back to their seats. Raging Dead is nowhere to be seen. Zybala and Dean are still at the "table" waiting to get the show going. ~
Dean: Main event time suckas! Barry going against the giant Tank!
Zybala: I hate to say this, but I don't see Barry coming out of this the winner. Allton gave Tank marching orders to break Barry.
Dean: If anyone can do the impossible, it would be Barry though.
Zybala: Take it away, Belvedere!
~ Belvedere is in the ring, ready to go. ~
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the night, and is scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….
~ "When You're Evil" by Voltaire hits the...Laptop of Dean (after a Youtube advert, naturally) and enters the backyard enters Vincenzo Larossia and Lord Allton with a huge grin on his face to a chorus of boos. ~
Belvedere: From Wherever the hell...
Lord Allton: Belvedere, take a hike. Let a real professional take care of this.
~ Vincenzo begins to walk up to Belvedere but he's already out of the ring. ~
Lord Allton: Ahehehehehem! Ladies and Gentlemen, from Wherever the Hell he pleases...Standing at 7'2, weighing in at 500lbs, being accompanied by Vincenzo Larossia and YOUR X-FACTOR champion whether you want it or not, me, Lord Allton........I give you........ The man who will crush Barry Barrows like a damn bug..........Tank!!
~ Tank strolls out of the house and into the yard, ignoring the chorus of boos around him. He marches down to the ring with scary intent and purpose as he passes Lord Allton and Vincenzo, fist bumping them both. He then climbs over the rope, waiting for Barry. Allton smirks and nods at Belvedere, allowing the man to do his job.~
Belvedere: And his opponent.. He stands at 5 foot 6 inches and weighs in tonight at 150 pounds! He is The "UNPINNABLE" BAAAAAARRY BAAAAAARRRRROOOOOWWS!!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play, Barry steps out from behind the curtain with his arms raised. The Yardies explode with cheers and start chanting "BAAAR-RY!! BAAAR-RY!" Goldberg style. Allton sneers as Barry makes his way out of the house. Barry walks right by Allton, ignoring him, as he makes his way to the ring. Barry steps between the ropes and looks at Tank. There is no fear in Barry's eyes. Mitch calls for the bell. Barry immediately runs up and starts hitting Tank with lefts and rights and chops. Barry is giving his all with these hits, but Tank barely flinches. Tank takes a swing, but Barry ducks behind the behemoth and keeps hitting him. The fans are cheering Barry on while Allton is screaming instructions at his giant. Tank turns to face Barry, and gets a stiff kick to his leg for his trouble. Tank buckles a little and Barry keeps up the attack! ~
Dean: B Double will not be stopped, sucka!
Zybala: Barry is doing exactly what he needs to do. Stay on top of Tank and not give him a chance to get his bearings.
Dean: Then why is he running away?!
~ Barry, feeling confident, runs at the corner and hops on the middle turnbuckle. He then leaps off at Tank, who catches him midair in a bear hug! The Yardies boo as Tank shakes Barry around like a ragdoll, much to the glee of Lord Allton. Tank squeezes Barry, who cries out in pain. Mitch is asking Barry if he wants to quit, between bites of his fourth burger of the night. Vincenzo is clapping while Allton is telling Tank to make Barry hurt! Barry is trying to wiggle out from the bigger man's grasp, but it's a futile task. Tank is just too strong for Barry to fight off. In a last ditch effort, Barry raises his hands and claps Tank's ears! Tank winces in pain but still holds on. Barry smacks the ears once again, disorienting Tank even more, but the giant still holds on. The Yardies start chanting "ONE MORE TIME!" to rally behind the Unpinnable One. Barry hits Tank a third time and it works! Tank releases the bear hug and Barry drops to the mat. Tank is holding the sides of his head as Barry catches his breath. Barry runs behind Tank and starts kicking away at the back of his left knee. The Yardies cheer when Tank's leg buckles and he falls to one knee! ~
Zybala: Barry's done it! He found a way to bring Tank down to his level!
Dean: That don't mean shit if he can't put away the huge sucka. Barry ain't won this yet.
~ Barry charges in for a clothesline, hoping to drop Tank to the mat, but is met with a hand around the throat! Mitch starts yelling at Tank about choking, with specks of chewed up burger flying out, but Tank ignores the ref as he calmly raises to his feet, Barry's neck still in his grasp. Barry is trying desperately to get away, but Tank lifts Barry up high and drives him to the mat with a huge chokeslam! Allton and Vincenzo are elated and the fans boo. Barry is writhing on the mat as Tank looks over to Allton, awaiting his marching orders. Allton and Vincenzo look at each other before starting a "One More Time" chant, mocking the crowd. Tank nods, lifts up Barry and drops him with a second chokeslam! Allton is ecstatic watching Barry get destroyed, but he does want some for himself in their eventual rematch. He shouts at Tank to put him away. Tank picks up Barry and puts his head between his legs. ~
Zybala:Tank is looking for Terrel Bomb to mercifully end this. I guess the unthinkable streak is over.
Dean: It had to end sometime. He had a great run. At least he's still our X-Division champ…
~ Tank is ready to lift up Barry, but stops when he sees a fan attack Vincenzo! Allton starts yelling for Thames to get the person, and Lucas does move to do his job, but stops when he sees who the attacker is. It's Aaron Warthog! Warthog and Vincenzo are brawling outside of the ring, which causes Tank to let go of Barry and move to help his buddy. Allton yells at Tank to stop, saying Vincenzo has this and to focus on Barry. Tank turns around, right in time to get kicked between the legs by Barry!! Mitch sees this and calls for the bell, disqualifying Barry. Barry slides out of the ring and charges right at Allton! He leaps on the Lord of Dashing and the Two start slugging away at each other! ~
Dean: For the second week in a row, it's broken down into a straight up brawl! Barry may have lost, but I don't think he cares!
Zybala: And he still hasn't answered Allton's challenge yet! This will eventually come to a head, but not tonight!
Dean: Should we break them up?
Zybala: Can't let Lucas do it himself…
~ Zybala and Dean get up from the table and go over to Lucas Thames. Zybala calls the Mariachi Band over and the lot of them go to break up the brawl as the scene fades to black. ~
The Mariachi Band is playing a mariachi version of "Mad Russian's Christmas", the Trans Siberian Orchestra version. The refrigerator box/announcer table is still standing proudly. Behind the "table" is our trusty commentary team of Mike Zybala and President Dean! They have the headsets and microphones at the ready and Zybala has the laptop for the entrance themes next to him. ~
Dean: Seasons Greetings, mother fuckers and welcome to another episode of Dystopia! I'm the original Outsider, Dean and I'm joined as always by Mike Zybala!
Zybala: Happy Holidays everyone! We got four star level food on the grill, three exciting matches on the card, two people making their Outsiders debut and…
Dean: And a mother fucking partridge in a pear tree!!
~ Dean points to his right and we do see a pear tree with a short-tailed bird with mainly brown plumage. Zybala stares for a moment. ~
Zybala: Where the hell did you get a bird that's native to Europe and some parts of Asia??
Dean: Internet.
Zybala: Fair enough. Belvedere, take it away!
~ We cut over to the ring where Mitch and Belvedere are already waiting. Belvedere raises the microphone and let the games begin! ~
Belvedere: Welcome back to Dystopia, one and all! The following match is scheduled for one fall!
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Making his way to the ring first, hailing from Key West, Florida. Weighing in at 155 pounds, he is just another masked guy, JAM G!!!
~ The Yardies cheer as "No One Knows" hits the speakers and JAM G jumps over the fence and leaps into view. He doesn’t get much height. He lands on both feet and looks around, mysteriously. The crowd chants “JAM G!” for one of the Outsider originals. JAM G rushes toward the ring and slides in. He pops to his feet and continues to try to look mysterious. Belvedere continues. :
Belvedere: And his opponent…. making his Outsiders debut…. Hailing from Flavortown USA… representing the NWO…. This is Major Flavor!!
~ Belvedere exits the ring as "Eat It" by Weird Al plays over the speakers. Everyone looks at the house, waiting...expecting… but Major doesn't walk out. From the driveway of one of the side houses, a SS Chvelle comes driving up into the Yard, making its way to the ring. It pulls up behind the seats and out hops Major Flavor! He makes the "too sweet" gesture towards the camera before rolling in the ring. The music stops and Mitch calls for the bell. JAM G and Flavor start to circle each other, looking for an opening as Mitch lights up a blunt. ~
Dean: Are we ever gonna talk about Mitch and his pot issue?
Zybala: What issue?
Dean: The one where he doesn't share…
~ JAM G raises his arms, challenging the Major to lock up. Flavor raises his arms and tells G to bring it on. JAM G moves towards Flavor to lock up and meets air as Flavor ducks under his arms and walks behind the masked guy. Flavor holds up the top sweet hand sign us the fans boo. JAM G quickly turns around and grabs Flavor around the waist, but Flavor just drops to his rear, sliding out of JAM G's grasp. He hops back to his feet with yet another too sweet gesture, annoying the fans and his opponent. JAM G starts yelling at Flavor to take this seriously, only to be met with a discus punch courtesy of Flavor! JAM G staggers back but remains standing, only to be knocked down by a dropkick! JAM G falls to the mat hard and Flavor starts to climb the ropes. ~
Zybala: It looks like Flavor is looking for the third D of his Triple D combo!
Dean: I once dated a girl with triple d's!
Zybala: I married one. I can get away with saying this cuz she never watches Outsiders.
Dean: Don't all wife roll their eyes at our hobby?
~ All meta stuff aside, Flavor is on the top rope. He looks ready to fly until he sees something from the corner of his eye. He hops down and rolls out of the ring. Flavor walks over to the grills and investigates the work of Emilio. Flavor starts yelling at him and The Eastern European about the blandness of their food. He runs over to his car, pumps the trunk, and pulls his pepper grinder and a briefcase. Major then walks back to the grill, places the briefcase on a nearby table and opens it. Inside there is a bunch of spices and seasonings. Flavor shoves Emilio to one side and starts going to work on the grill. JAM G has gotten back to his feet and starts asking Mitch to count out Flavor. Mitch, however, doesn't comply. Instead, he rolls out of the ring and makes his way to the grill. ~
Zybala: The fuck are you doing, Mitch?!
Dean: Aww shit. Mitch has got the munchies, son. With Major making those burgers smell Flavorful, Mitch can't help but to be lured in…
Zybala: They DO smell better than usual.
~ Mitch grabs a plate and a bun from the table near the grill and waits with eagerness. JAM G exits the ring and goes over to complain to Mitch, who only hushes the masked wrestler. Flavor puts a new and improved patty onto Mitch's bun, who then eagerly takes a bite. Tears well up in Mitch's eyes as he enjoys the burger. JAM G starts complaining about Flavor trying to bribe the ref. Mitch turns away from JAM G so he can just enjoy his food. Flavor takes advantage of this as he grabs his pepper grinder and cracks JAM G in the head!! JAM G falls to the grass as the fans boo. Major Flavor quickly hides the pepper grinder, but he didn't need to as Mitch is too enamored with his burger. Flavor gives Emilio and E.E. instructions on how to make better burgers before he drags JAM G across the grass and into the ring. Flavor rolls under the ropes, stands up and throws a too sweet sign in the air while yelling at G to get to his feet. Just Another Masked Guy slowly makes his way to his feet and promptly gets booted in the gut. Flavor celebrates 3:16 as he nails JAM G with a devastating "That's Gangster!!!" (stunner) JAM G falls to his back and Flavor makes the cover. Mitch walks over to the side of the ring, still holding onto his precious burger. He's savoring the flavor. ~
Mitch: One……
Two……
THREE!!!
~ The Yardies boo as Flavor jumps to his feet with his arms held high. He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black sharpie and the boos get louder! ~
Dean: We've seen this before, sucka. JAM G is about to become Just Another MARKED Guy.
Zybala: Looks like the NWO wants to spread from GCWA to here in Outsiders.
~ Major Flavor uncaps the sharpie, rolls JAM G onto his stomach, and draws a large "NWO" on his back. Flavor then exits the ring, gets in his car and drives away, throwing up the "too sweet" the entire time. Belvedere enters the ring and is about to announce the next match when one of the Mariachi Band members runs up to the ring and starts talking to Belvedere in anxious, broken English. Belvedere understands enough to get the gist. He addresses the crowd. ~
Belvedere: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that Bri Carter will NOT be showing up tonight. Apparently, she was not treated kindly in her last outing here and refuses to ever show up again.
~ The fans murmur and boo as Zybala and Dean look at each other. Nobody expected this. They don't have the budget to bring extra wrestlers who aren't on the card to the Yard. They're down a wrestler. Zybala then looks like he has an idea. He starts talking with Dean, who starts shaking his head no. The two start to argue, Zybala saying stuff like "no other way" and Dean replying "No overtime!" Zybala tells Dean to talk to the hand as he stands up to shout at the people in the ring. ~
Zybala: JAM G is pulling double duty tonight, Belvedere! Announce R.D.!
~ Belvedere looks briefly flustered before composing himself like the pro that he is. JAM G looks bewildered as he slowly drags himself to his feet. He shouts at Zybala about more money, and Zybala nods while Dean looks angry. Belvedere raises the microphone. ~
Belvedere: And JAM G's second opponent for the evening…..
~ "Rage 25/8" by Z Mann Zilla starts to play and the fans go wild, not because of who is coming out... but because the song is so dope and fly. Zilla is a truly great underrated artist. The most destructive force on the planet bursts out from the backstage area. That's right... The Raging Dead! He starts his whole huff and puff routine, but takes a look around the Yard and stops. He takes in his surroundings, stares at Zybala and just shrugs. ~
Belvedere: Making his way to the ring... weighing in at two hundred and nineteen pounds... from Ozone Park, New York... THE RAGING DEAD!
~ He looks around the Yard for a bit longer before the Whiteface Thriller makes his way to the ring. On the way, he meets up with a camera man. Raging Dead starts to yell incoherently, but stops when he notices the quality of the camera. He turns towards Zybala again.
Raging Dead: First, a hundred word buffer and now this shitty camera??
Zybala: You knew what you were getting into! Get in the ring and fight.
~ R.D. makes his way into the ring, many questions still on his mind, but decides to worry about it later. The music stops and Mitch checks both wrestlers before calling for the bell. ~
Dean: Round two for JAM G, despite my protests against overtime pay.
Zybala: Nobody else is here that isn't already booked. We don't waste money shipping people here if they aren't scheduled for something.
Dean: Damn straight. We gotta pinch pennies here to keep things afloat.
~ JAM G looks Raging Dead up and down and starts to question every decision in his life that's led him to this point. He lays on his back as the fans boo. G begs Dead to just pin him and get it over with. Dead looks at him and nods with a reassuring smile. As he gets closer to the relieved looking masked man, the smile becomes more savage. Raging Dead grabs JAM G by the head and drags him to his feet. He then starts hitting G with vicious elbows and forearms, driving him into the ropes. The fans cheer for some action happening instead of a cheap pin. Raging Dead keeps hitting JAM G as Mitch starts a five count. Before the ref reaches five, Raging Dead drags JAM G away from the ropes before maneuvering behind the masked wrestler. Raging Dead then nails JAM G in the back of the head, landing the Shockwave (Superkick)!!! JAM G falls forward, landing on the mat with a thud. ~
Dean: It's been nothing but Raging Dead so far in this match.
Zybala: To be fair, JAM G already wrestled. Plus he was never a good fighter to begin with.
Dean: But he's an O.G. Outsider.
Zybala: That's why we keep bringing him here. We take care of our own.
Dean: And Raging Dead is taking care of the violence.
~ Raging Dead drags JAM G to his feet once more and lifts him up to hold him upside down. Raging Dead holds him like that for a bit, letting the blood drain to JAM G's head before dropping him down withDead Weight (Cradle Tombstone Piledriver)!!!! JAM G is spiked to the mat and crumples in a heap. Raging Dead feels like he's done enough and pins JAM G. Mitch makes a mercifully fast three count and calls for the bell. Raging Dead pops back to his feet with arms raised. ~
Belvedere: Here is your winner…. RAGING DEAD!!
~ Raging Dead leaves the ring and walks over to the announce table. He starts peppering Zybala with questions as he is confused by the very concept of The Yard. We cut to Intermission. ~
INTERMISSION!
~ We cut back from Intermission as fans are getting back to their seats. Raging Dead is nowhere to be seen. Zybala and Dean are still at the "table" waiting to get the show going. ~
Dean: Main event time suckas! Barry going against the giant Tank!
Zybala: I hate to say this, but I don't see Barry coming out of this the winner. Allton gave Tank marching orders to break Barry.
Dean: If anyone can do the impossible, it would be Barry though.
Zybala: Take it away, Belvedere!
~ Belvedere is in the ring, ready to go. ~
Belvedere: The following match is your main event of the night, and is scheduled for one fall…
Yardies: ONE FALL!
Belvedere: Coming to the ring first….
~ "When You're Evil" by Voltaire hits the...Laptop of Dean (after a Youtube advert, naturally) and enters the backyard enters Vincenzo Larossia and Lord Allton with a huge grin on his face to a chorus of boos. ~
Belvedere: From Wherever the hell...
Lord Allton: Belvedere, take a hike. Let a real professional take care of this.
~ Vincenzo begins to walk up to Belvedere but he's already out of the ring. ~
Lord Allton: Ahehehehehem! Ladies and Gentlemen, from Wherever the Hell he pleases...Standing at 7'2, weighing in at 500lbs, being accompanied by Vincenzo Larossia and YOUR X-FACTOR champion whether you want it or not, me, Lord Allton........I give you........ The man who will crush Barry Barrows like a damn bug..........Tank!!
~ Tank strolls out of the house and into the yard, ignoring the chorus of boos around him. He marches down to the ring with scary intent and purpose as he passes Lord Allton and Vincenzo, fist bumping them both. He then climbs over the rope, waiting for Barry. Allton smirks and nods at Belvedere, allowing the man to do his job.~
Belvedere: And his opponent.. He stands at 5 foot 6 inches and weighs in tonight at 150 pounds! He is The "UNPINNABLE" BAAAAAARRY BAAAAAARRRRROOOOOWWS!!
~ "Oh Yeah!" by Green Day begins to play, Barry steps out from behind the curtain with his arms raised. The Yardies explode with cheers and start chanting "BAAAR-RY!! BAAAR-RY!" Goldberg style. Allton sneers as Barry makes his way out of the house. Barry walks right by Allton, ignoring him, as he makes his way to the ring. Barry steps between the ropes and looks at Tank. There is no fear in Barry's eyes. Mitch calls for the bell. Barry immediately runs up and starts hitting Tank with lefts and rights and chops. Barry is giving his all with these hits, but Tank barely flinches. Tank takes a swing, but Barry ducks behind the behemoth and keeps hitting him. The fans are cheering Barry on while Allton is screaming instructions at his giant. Tank turns to face Barry, and gets a stiff kick to his leg for his trouble. Tank buckles a little and Barry keeps up the attack! ~
Dean: B Double will not be stopped, sucka!
Zybala: Barry is doing exactly what he needs to do. Stay on top of Tank and not give him a chance to get his bearings.
Dean: Then why is he running away?!
~ Barry, feeling confident, runs at the corner and hops on the middle turnbuckle. He then leaps off at Tank, who catches him midair in a bear hug! The Yardies boo as Tank shakes Barry around like a ragdoll, much to the glee of Lord Allton. Tank squeezes Barry, who cries out in pain. Mitch is asking Barry if he wants to quit, between bites of his fourth burger of the night. Vincenzo is clapping while Allton is telling Tank to make Barry hurt! Barry is trying to wiggle out from the bigger man's grasp, but it's a futile task. Tank is just too strong for Barry to fight off. In a last ditch effort, Barry raises his hands and claps Tank's ears! Tank winces in pain but still holds on. Barry smacks the ears once again, disorienting Tank even more, but the giant still holds on. The Yardies start chanting "ONE MORE TIME!" to rally behind the Unpinnable One. Barry hits Tank a third time and it works! Tank releases the bear hug and Barry drops to the mat. Tank is holding the sides of his head as Barry catches his breath. Barry runs behind Tank and starts kicking away at the back of his left knee. The Yardies cheer when Tank's leg buckles and he falls to one knee! ~
Zybala: Barry's done it! He found a way to bring Tank down to his level!
Dean: That don't mean shit if he can't put away the huge sucka. Barry ain't won this yet.
~ Barry charges in for a clothesline, hoping to drop Tank to the mat, but is met with a hand around the throat! Mitch starts yelling at Tank about choking, with specks of chewed up burger flying out, but Tank ignores the ref as he calmly raises to his feet, Barry's neck still in his grasp. Barry is trying desperately to get away, but Tank lifts Barry up high and drives him to the mat with a huge chokeslam! Allton and Vincenzo are elated and the fans boo. Barry is writhing on the mat as Tank looks over to Allton, awaiting his marching orders. Allton and Vincenzo look at each other before starting a "One More Time" chant, mocking the crowd. Tank nods, lifts up Barry and drops him with a second chokeslam! Allton is ecstatic watching Barry get destroyed, but he does want some for himself in their eventual rematch. He shouts at Tank to put him away. Tank picks up Barry and puts his head between his legs. ~
Zybala:Tank is looking for Terrel Bomb to mercifully end this. I guess the unthinkable streak is over.
Dean: It had to end sometime. He had a great run. At least he's still our X-Division champ…
~ Tank is ready to lift up Barry, but stops when he sees a fan attack Vincenzo! Allton starts yelling for Thames to get the person, and Lucas does move to do his job, but stops when he sees who the attacker is. It's Aaron Warthog! Warthog and Vincenzo are brawling outside of the ring, which causes Tank to let go of Barry and move to help his buddy. Allton yells at Tank to stop, saying Vincenzo has this and to focus on Barry. Tank turns around, right in time to get kicked between the legs by Barry!! Mitch sees this and calls for the bell, disqualifying Barry. Barry slides out of the ring and charges right at Allton! He leaps on the Lord of Dashing and the Two start slugging away at each other! ~
Dean: For the second week in a row, it's broken down into a straight up brawl! Barry may have lost, but I don't think he cares!
Zybala: And he still hasn't answered Allton's challenge yet! This will eventually come to a head, but not tonight!
Dean: Should we break them up?
Zybala: Can't let Lucas do it himself…
~ Zybala and Dean get up from the table and go over to Lucas Thames. Zybala calls the Mariachi Band over and the lot of them go to break up the brawl as the scene fades to black. ~