Post by Alessandro Quagliaterre on Jan 20, 2021 15:25:27 GMT -6
“If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” - Martin Luther King Jr.
That won’t resonate with Dex Griffin.
Why?
One. He isn’t a person of color.
Two. He’s a rookie that’s green as goose shit.
Three. Back in Kiruna, Sweden his only concern is when will Ikea be reopening.
Four. One to three are irrelevant, because more importantly... Dex Griffin is a no-talent bum and a huge scrub.
But if you can’t run, walk right!?!
Except with Dex... for every step he takes forward, he takes two steps backward.
Completely clueless.
Lucky for him, on Friday, I’ll give him a clue of where he’s heading.
Unfortunately... it’s going to end in the agony of defeat.
Now that’s not just a disaster.
It’s a perfect disaster.
Alessandro Quagliaterre was curious by nature. Not Judgemental.
What he found fascinating about facing Dex Griffin this week… was the fact that a grown man in his mid-30s who was a recluse... had a best friend, that’s a polar bear???
A few weeks ago, Dex alluded in his debut vignette... that Alistair the polar bear had gone on a trip to St. Elmo, Colorado with a lady named Kallie Reznik. Dex mentioned at the time it was a story for a different time.
Well... Now... was a different time.
Alessandro went directly to Kallie online and enquired about said visit to find out about that story.
What he learned was that Kallie Reznik was a very short, yet very beautiful wolf lady with Disney perfect blonde hair.
What he learned about Alistair, was that he casually strolled through an abandoned mine town in the Rocky Mountains, wore sunglasses, ate ice cream, and surprisingly didn’t eat Kallie... as she was the perfect size for a polar bear snack.
In Kallie’s own words, Alistair and her simply “hung out around the town” as she described him as “A big floofer!”.
What he learned about Alistair, was that he casually strolled through an abandoned mine town in the Rocky Mountains, wore sunglasses, ate ice cream, and surprisingly didn’t eat Kallie... as she was the perfect size for a polar bear snack.
In Kallie’s own words, Alistair and her simply “hung out around the town” as she described him as “A big floofer!”.
Alistair allegedly ate a Nazi sympathizer too. Alessandro endorses this.
He still found it hard to grasp that Alistair was a real polar bear. He was eager to pour water on Alistair’s head to see if it was actually a robot dressed up as a polar bear.
But he was cautious. In case it was an actual polar bear, for anytype of bear... not just polars are notoriously dangerous.
With the playful and friendly nature which Dex exhibits with Alistair, he would have you all fooled in a false sense of security, that being buds with the arctics alpha predator was the new normal.
It was not normal, at all.
But don’t take Alessandro’s word for it. Take an experts'!
The scene initiates with a zoom call between Alessandro Quagliaterre and Dr. Amy Garrou.
Dr. Garrou is on the board of directors for Houston Zoo. She was responsible for the exclusive arrival of a polar bears display. Being the only zoo in Texas to do so, for a limited time.
This information is available in the public domain, and Dr. Garrou’s position could be verified on the Houston Zoo website. She was not an impostor, she was a real person.
After exchanging initial pleasantries, Alessandro started the main conversation.
“Thank you for joining me, Dr. Garrou. I appreciate it. Hopefully, you can answer and educate not only me... but the audience watching at home and around the internet.”
“Before we begin officially, I would just like to know. Do you know who Dex Griffin is?”
“Unfortunately not.”
“That’s okay because NEWSFLASH DOC! No one does!”
Alessandro cackled in bemusement. Dr. Garrou didn’t understand what he found so funny.
“The board said you were willing to make a sizable donation to the Zoo. Your only prior condition, was that you wanted to speak to me about polar bears???”
“Yep! I got $250,000 coming your way, just want a friendly chat first.”
Dr. Garrou raised her eyebrows at the value of Alessandro’s donation.
“That’s mighty generous! Houston Zoo always makes our donors feel welcome. What is your query exactly?”
“I just want your expert opinion on whether it would be realistic for a human to grow up with a polar bear from birth. Whether they could become best friends with them, without the polar bear wanting to kill the human or anyone else, if paraded around in public like a circus act.”
“Interesting hypothetical situation. Polar bears are without a doubt one of the most powerful and most intimidating animals on the planet. They’re intrinsically curious, while all other species of bear, mostly eat plants and insects... Polar bears eat meat! They’re one of the few animals that actually see humans as food.”
“Thank you for that explanation Doctor, however, it's not a hypothetical situation. It’s super real. That person who you said you didn’t know, that’s his life story.”
The doctor was very surprised to hear this.
“It’s bananas right?”
Alessandro couldn’t believe it either.
“Highly improbable. Not impossible.”
“Why not?”
“Theoretically you could take a polar bear from birth, raise, love and give them the best possible life in a nurturing environment, a strong bond will be formed. Effectively that individual becomes a surrogate mother, the polar bear won’t leave your side, because just like humans they go through a lot of separation anxiety.”
“It may sound silly and it is easier said than done. You can take an animal out of the wild, and you can love and treat them right, but that won’t get them to surrender its natural instinct. That’ll never happen.”
“They’re not a pet, because most people don’t have pets that can kill them with one strike. No matter how much you train or love a polar bear, you can never tame one, they are still a polar bear and extremely dangerous.”
“How am I meant to survive a polar bear and out wrestle them?”
The doctor scoffed at that notion.
“Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t wrestle a polar bear and survive.”
“Dex claims he can. He was wrestling around with his polar bear Alistair and someone happened to get it on camera and it went viral. It’s how he got his big break into wrestling. Except I can’t find that video anywhere on the internet or on social media, which leads me to believe he’s a big fat liar and extremely shady.”
“Well… there are two things you can do, to actually survive a polar bear.”
“First, don’t let a polar bear smell you. The bear's nose is a thousand times more powerful than ours. It’s how they gather information before they approach to attack like they would normally do in the arctic, when stalking a seal in ice.”
“Second, Unfortunately, you can’t just play dead with a polar bear, and expect it to run away or leave you alone like a brown bear. You either need protection such as a tranquilizer gun or a taser with high voltage... or if in deep snow, a very fast snowmobile to make a clean exit.”
“Definitely be doing that. I highly doubt Dex is stupid enough to bring Alistair to the arena this Friday. Especially after I publicly threatened to call PETA. But just in case he is stupid enough, and it’s time to get busy, I ain’t afraid to let Alistair the Polar Bear catch these hands. Ain’t no polar bear mean muggin’ me!”
She rolled her eyes at the idea of Alessandro successfully going up against a polar bear.
“Right… Good luck with that!”
“Thank you for your time Dr. Garrou, a briefcase with cash is on it's way to your office. Have a nice day.”
Alessandro ended the zoom call with a peace sign.
After a few moments had passed, Alessandro decided that it was now solely about the man behind the polar bear.
“Dex Griffin. A man filled to the brim with confidence heading into Inferno this week.
Not only did you do what you were meant to do since day one… and actually win a match... albeit against a drunk Atara Themis!
Somehow with your shoddy showing, you managed to weasel yourself into a match to be a contender for a championship here in GCWA.”
He clapped in approval, sarcastically.
“Gee Golly... Isn’t that just PERFECT!
Trust me when I tell you I’m very excited to see how badly this match will turn out to be.
Not because of me, because I am excellent at everything I do, but because of you.
Forget about becoming the number one contender, or any thoughts of facing Enforcer at Adrenaline Rush for the title.
You’ve got to get past me first, and you’ll fail miserably at that. For you’re a green as goose shit wrestler, and it’s laughable that someone as shitty as you, is worth being rewarded in a match like this.”
Alessandro was disgusted.
“Then again, I shouldn’t be such a negative nelly and be in a downer. Let the hype train for Dex Griffin begin, as you’ve just started to pick up some stream right?
I can run my mouth better than anyone else here in GCWA, but speaking and wrestling are very different.
Big difference between me and you is, when I say something, I can back it up.
I know when I say I’m going to knock your teeth down your throat, I have a lot of confidence in my voice.
When you say you’re going to kick my ass or beat me, or whatever the fuck, I know you’re saying that with a loss to Crash Rodridguez.
The same Crash Rodriguez, who out of the nine singles matches he’s been in, has only won three of them.
Let that sink in, you got beat by someone who boasts a 0.333 record.
Better yet in that other company you currently work for... you’re 0-2, which means not only do you suck in GCWA… You suck everywhere.
There’s a reason you have a career record that is that pathetic, and it’s because of your attitude.
Your first week in GCWA, you got prepared for your match by playing Crash Bandicoot in one of your stupid cabins, that you probably rented off of Air BnB.”
Alessandro didn’t believe the claim that Dex had cabins across the world that he built himself from scratch.
“That’s funny right? Atleast to you, it was, because believe me Dex, nobody found that promo funny.
I can tell you for a fact, that everyone in the locker room was laughing their asses off, when you ended up losing in your debut. I’ve never seen a locker room so hysterical, and do you know why they were laughing?
Because you’re a joke.
I remember something you said that week prior to facing Crash.
You don’t care.
You’re just here to put faces to the mat and make us cry to our mothers wishing that we had never gotten into wrestling.
I can guarantee you one thing, after that night… Crash’s wasn’t crying, he was elated.
Whereas your mother, wherever she may be, was definitely disappointed. Disappointed to have an embarrassment of a son like you.
That’s probably the real reason why you have no recollection of your family or friends. Not because you were brought up in the wilderness, but because your mother knew that you were a child that never should have been born, just like you should have never stepped foot in a wrestling ring, because you’re a disgrace to this sport.
So low and behold after that loss... when you went into preparation for your match against Atara, and suddenly decided to give a shit and care, you proved to the world that you're a hypocrite.
Bravo, you won one match, and you think you made it now because you’ve been hot for a minute?”
Alessandro kissed his teeth.
“Dex, try being hot for well over a decade... then come back at me. For I never in my 10 years of... grinding, pouring blood, and busting sweat in the middle of the ring, kicking ass, and taking names have said... I don’t care.
I care a lot, not for championships or glory, but for honor and for pride. To teach little shits like you to stay in your lane and know where you belong. You’re not on my level Dex, you’re not even on the level below me, you’re so far down the pecking order that the only place you belong right now is in the gutter. Don’t let that keep you up at night… because there’s no one else on my level.
So ask me if I give a FUCK about what you have to say?
Because I don’t.”
He emphasised that point by shaking his head.
“Most of all, I want you to realize one thing and I know it’s going to be a hard concept for you to grasp because you’re a lot like everyone else in GCWA, stubborn and delusional.
Fine by me, I’ll just have to drive my boot a few times into your skull till you get the message… Dex, I want you to realize that no matter how hard you try, how hard you believe in yourself, and no matter the fight you put into something…
You'll never have what it takes to be worth my time in a wrestling ring.
For you’re a loser… And forever will be!”
With those fighting words… the burial of Dex Griffin was complete.
