Post by patriots on Feb 3, 2021 10:38:21 GMT -6
The camera shot opens on a sad sight. A disheveled Spruce Goose is sitting at a table, not moving. He looks extremely depressed. In front of him is a picture of Spruce Goose standing with Memphis Belle, the tag-team formerly known as the Patriots. That time has passed, though, as Memphis is now 'teaming' with Aaron Warthog, leaving Spruce Goose all alone. He grumbles, reaching over and knocking over the picture, sending it crashing to the floor. Glass shatters, as the picture lands face-down. Spruce Goose sits there for a moment, glaring at it. But then, in a moment of guilt, he gets up and gets the broom and dust pan. The glass is soon cleaned up, with the frame being thrown into the trash. The picture, though, is saved, being put to the side.
We cut to another shot, this one showing Spruce Goose sitting and watching some YouTube videos. One of them is a copy of Alessandro Quagliaterre's promo about their match. At first, Spruce Goose seems indifferent, still thinking about what Memphis Belle might be doing right now. But his attention gets diverted when Quagliaterre does his urban dictionary definition of his name. Spruce Goose sits up, looking furious. He presses a few buttons on his laptop, bringing up the recording for his own channel. It may not be viewed by many, but it still allows him to get his words out when he's angry.
Spruce Goose: Alexa Quarters! I heard your little speech about my name and how it means nothing but crap in the 21st Century, and I am appalled. APPALLED! Your lack of historical reverence is horrible, and a sign of how our schools have gone so far downhill in recent years. Worse than that, you're ruining the education of many of the young people here in these United States who watch your videos. How DARE you deprive them of the truth? So listen up, because I'm only going to go through this once!
Spruce Goose takes a deep breath before continuing, his rage only being contained by his interest in getting true knowledge to anyone watching.
Spruce Goose: The Spruce Goose was the largest wooden airplane ever constructed. It was created during World War II to help with troop transports, and even though the original plane only flew one time, it still was an amazing innovation in aviation history! Howard Hughes created an unbelievable invention, and it should never be forgotten!
You can almost see the steam rising from Spruce Goose's collar as he glares at the camera. Obviously, he's linked onto these comments to give him something to fight about.
Spruce Goose: So let's talk about your name... Alexa... or Alessa... or... well, I don't freaking remember. But I do recall that it starts with two specific letters. A... and Q. Which says to me... you're a fan of Al-Qaeda!! You son of a bitch!! How dare you bring your terrorist views to the GCWA, and try and portray yourself as a champion to the people! I will destroy you on Friday, and show you the error of your ways, and maybe you'll change your name to American Independence or something truly great, instead of being a bastard with an unpronounceable name! You're going down, Al-Qaeda. You can't stand against the greatest country in the world! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Spruce Goose stands up, still chanting as he stays fired up, pumping his arms up and down.
Spruce Goose: USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
He walks off, continuing to chant, as he goes to start working out. It's a little uncomfortable, as he leaves the video recording. We get a long period of dead air, where nothing is happening. Eventually, Goose finishes working out and comes in. He starts preparing a truly American meal, with hamburgers and french fries. As he's cooking, he peeks back over his shoulder and sees the light still on. With a curse, Spruce Goose walks over and turns off the recording, finally ending the misery.
We cut to another shot, this one showing Spruce Goose sitting and watching some YouTube videos. One of them is a copy of Alessandro Quagliaterre's promo about their match. At first, Spruce Goose seems indifferent, still thinking about what Memphis Belle might be doing right now. But his attention gets diverted when Quagliaterre does his urban dictionary definition of his name. Spruce Goose sits up, looking furious. He presses a few buttons on his laptop, bringing up the recording for his own channel. It may not be viewed by many, but it still allows him to get his words out when he's angry.
Spruce Goose: Alexa Quarters! I heard your little speech about my name and how it means nothing but crap in the 21st Century, and I am appalled. APPALLED! Your lack of historical reverence is horrible, and a sign of how our schools have gone so far downhill in recent years. Worse than that, you're ruining the education of many of the young people here in these United States who watch your videos. How DARE you deprive them of the truth? So listen up, because I'm only going to go through this once!
Spruce Goose takes a deep breath before continuing, his rage only being contained by his interest in getting true knowledge to anyone watching.
Spruce Goose: The Spruce Goose was the largest wooden airplane ever constructed. It was created during World War II to help with troop transports, and even though the original plane only flew one time, it still was an amazing innovation in aviation history! Howard Hughes created an unbelievable invention, and it should never be forgotten!
You can almost see the steam rising from Spruce Goose's collar as he glares at the camera. Obviously, he's linked onto these comments to give him something to fight about.
Spruce Goose: So let's talk about your name... Alexa... or Alessa... or... well, I don't freaking remember. But I do recall that it starts with two specific letters. A... and Q. Which says to me... you're a fan of Al-Qaeda!! You son of a bitch!! How dare you bring your terrorist views to the GCWA, and try and portray yourself as a champion to the people! I will destroy you on Friday, and show you the error of your ways, and maybe you'll change your name to American Independence or something truly great, instead of being a bastard with an unpronounceable name! You're going down, Al-Qaeda. You can't stand against the greatest country in the world! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Spruce Goose stands up, still chanting as he stays fired up, pumping his arms up and down.
Spruce Goose: USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!
He walks off, continuing to chant, as he goes to start working out. It's a little uncomfortable, as he leaves the video recording. We get a long period of dead air, where nothing is happening. Eventually, Goose finishes working out and comes in. He starts preparing a truly American meal, with hamburgers and french fries. As he's cooking, he peeks back over his shoulder and sees the light still on. With a curse, Spruce Goose walks over and turns off the recording, finally ending the misery.