Post by Thunder Knuckles on Feb 3, 2021 23:47:46 GMT -6
Thunder Knuckles is at 96.3 KKLZ’s radio station in Las Vegas Nevada. He’s promoting his tag match with Bobby Bourbon, Them No Good Bastards, versus Atara Themis and Besty Granger in the XWF on Saturday Night Savage, unaware of his promotional deadline to help Miss Fury.
This match with Atara and Betsy Granger, man. She’s a real sweetheart man. Pretty as fuck, you know what I'm saying?
Isn’t the stipulation for that match you can’t talk badly about your opponent?
It’s a “Be My Valentine's” match. Rassling sure likes its match names… I mean, even if sometimes they don’t get the finish right. Rassling is fucking crazy sometimes man.
I bet-
The host is cut off to the sound of Jimmy who is clutching papers in his right hand and beating the glass to the sound booth with his left. You can’t make out what he’s saying but Thunder Knuckles looks annoyed.
Anyway, what’s next for Thunder Knuckles-
The host is again interrupted with Jimmy banging on the glass.
What the fuck Jimmy?
Hey man, you can’t say that on-air, dude!
Thunder Knuckles begins stirring to his feet.
Ah, fucking sue me, you little bitch. I don’t listen to this goddamn station anyway. I listen to 98.5 when I’m in fucking town, mother fuckers.
The host is telling Thunder Knuckles to leave, even though Thunder Knuckles was doing that anyway. Thunder Knuckles gives the bird as he walks out of the sound studio. Jimmy is there out of breath from running, trying to track down Thunder Knuckles.
The fuck, Jimmy! I was promoting the match on Savage. You know the best show in the fucking business! Representing the best fans in the world. XWF fans!
Thunder Knuckles winks into the camera.
Not now. How didn’t you notice the cameraman?
Thunder Knuckles looks over at the cameraman and points at him.
What? These fuckers are like cockroaches. I just winked into it the fucking camera, dickhead. The goddamn fans love it when I do that shit.
Did you even look to see which camera crew they’re with?
Fuck, no, why would I? You take care of that shit! Not me!
Jimmy closes his eyes and puts his index finger and thumb on his temple.
I didn’t know you signed up for GCWA this week until it was late. This cameraman is for them not the XWF.
Jimmy opens his eyes. Thunder Knuckles grins.
It’s alright Jimmy. Those idiot asses they call GCWA fans already know that the people we’re going up against. Fucking trash. Fury said she needs my goddamn help. What she really needed was a warm goddamn body. She told me a little bit about them earlier. Fuck, I barely listened, really. I just know that they’re glorified fuck boys.
Thunder Knuckles looks as another set of wrestlers enter the sound booth.
Who the fuck are those guys?
Oh, them? They’re from IWFotW.
What the fuck is that?
International Wrestling Federation of the World. The independents, really.
Like the fucking tights, bro.
That’s Fire and Ice.
Yep figured that out. The fucking tights, Jimmy. At least they look like a tag team, am I right.
Speaking of which have you seen what Thunder and Lighting look like?
First of all, the only Thunder that matters has the last name Knuckles attached to it. And B, Lighting is a stupid ass name. Fucking clown shoes. They’re gonna send the wrath of the fucking storms on us Jimmy. Weep us away with fucking fail force winds.
Gail force winds.
No, mother fucker, I said it right.
I suppose you’re right these guys don’t exactly win a lot.
Know why that is Jimmy?
Why?
They suck… Make no mistake I'm not going to overlook them, I can’t, Fury would be so pissed. Nope, I’m going to show up and only get involved with these fucking ass clowns if Fury needs me. I’m like ninety percent fucking sure she won't need me but I'm fucking here, if she does, she knows a fuck ton more about this place than I fucking do. Ol’ Thunder Knuckles was here, What? One fucking time, trying to win the Righteous Rumble.
Thunder Knuckles rips the papers from Jimmy's hands.
Let’s get to the meat and potatoes.
Thunder Knuckles looks over the paper.
You have to be fucking shitting me.
Thunder Knuckles looks over at Jimmy. Jimmy shrugs like a big idiot.
Jimmy has two stick figures drawn on this paper, in crayon, one black, and one red. Now, this is fucking special. Jimmy doesn't normally write shit like this. This is funny. This fucking paper just has the word “Jobber” on it.
Thunder Knuckles looks back at Jimmy.
Then why are you so bent about getting this the fuck done? We have fucking time, bro! Thunder Knuckles fulfills all his obligations no matter what. It's kinda my fucking thing. They pay, I show up-
Jimmy cuts off Thunder Knuckles because he isn't aware of how urgent this truly is.
No, We don’t You're running out of time right now as we speak! I’m just so happy to see the Camera crew I had sent over followed you.
Wait. They've been recording since they got here? They met me in the fucking hotel room. Fuck no. This shit is fucking over!
Thunder Knuckles throws the papers in the air.
It's two fucking jobbers, Jimmy! I was just in the fight of my fucking life days ago! Now you want Ol' Thunder Knuckles to shuck and jive for American dollars? Give me a fucking break, motherfucker! Take a fucking light touch. Get the fuck out of here, man!
Thunder Knuckles looks over at the cameraman.
Hey, mother fucker give me your camera. We have some fucking editing and talking to do!
Thunder Knuckles lunges over toward the cameraman, the camera is hit and the digital picture is trashed but the sound is still rolling.
Alight mother fucker those hookers weren’t fucking dead, you got m-
The sound cuts out.
This match with Atara and Betsy Granger, man. She’s a real sweetheart man. Pretty as fuck, you know what I'm saying?
Isn’t the stipulation for that match you can’t talk badly about your opponent?
It’s a “Be My Valentine's” match. Rassling sure likes its match names… I mean, even if sometimes they don’t get the finish right. Rassling is fucking crazy sometimes man.
I bet-
The host is cut off to the sound of Jimmy who is clutching papers in his right hand and beating the glass to the sound booth with his left. You can’t make out what he’s saying but Thunder Knuckles looks annoyed.
Anyway, what’s next for Thunder Knuckles-
The host is again interrupted with Jimmy banging on the glass.
What the fuck Jimmy?
Hey man, you can’t say that on-air, dude!
Thunder Knuckles begins stirring to his feet.
Ah, fucking sue me, you little bitch. I don’t listen to this goddamn station anyway. I listen to 98.5 when I’m in fucking town, mother fuckers.
The host is telling Thunder Knuckles to leave, even though Thunder Knuckles was doing that anyway. Thunder Knuckles gives the bird as he walks out of the sound studio. Jimmy is there out of breath from running, trying to track down Thunder Knuckles.
The fuck, Jimmy! I was promoting the match on Savage. You know the best show in the fucking business! Representing the best fans in the world. XWF fans!
Thunder Knuckles winks into the camera.
Not now. How didn’t you notice the cameraman?
Thunder Knuckles looks over at the cameraman and points at him.
What? These fuckers are like cockroaches. I just winked into it the fucking camera, dickhead. The goddamn fans love it when I do that shit.
Did you even look to see which camera crew they’re with?
Fuck, no, why would I? You take care of that shit! Not me!
Jimmy closes his eyes and puts his index finger and thumb on his temple.
I didn’t know you signed up for GCWA this week until it was late. This cameraman is for them not the XWF.
Jimmy opens his eyes. Thunder Knuckles grins.
It’s alright Jimmy. Those idiot asses they call GCWA fans already know that the people we’re going up against. Fucking trash. Fury said she needs my goddamn help. What she really needed was a warm goddamn body. She told me a little bit about them earlier. Fuck, I barely listened, really. I just know that they’re glorified fuck boys.
Thunder Knuckles looks as another set of wrestlers enter the sound booth.
Who the fuck are those guys?
Oh, them? They’re from IWFotW.
What the fuck is that?
International Wrestling Federation of the World. The independents, really.
Like the fucking tights, bro.
That’s Fire and Ice.
Yep figured that out. The fucking tights, Jimmy. At least they look like a tag team, am I right.
Speaking of which have you seen what Thunder and Lighting look like?
First of all, the only Thunder that matters has the last name Knuckles attached to it. And B, Lighting is a stupid ass name. Fucking clown shoes. They’re gonna send the wrath of the fucking storms on us Jimmy. Weep us away with fucking fail force winds.
Gail force winds.
No, mother fucker, I said it right.
I suppose you’re right these guys don’t exactly win a lot.
Know why that is Jimmy?
Why?
They suck… Make no mistake I'm not going to overlook them, I can’t, Fury would be so pissed. Nope, I’m going to show up and only get involved with these fucking ass clowns if Fury needs me. I’m like ninety percent fucking sure she won't need me but I'm fucking here, if she does, she knows a fuck ton more about this place than I fucking do. Ol’ Thunder Knuckles was here, What? One fucking time, trying to win the Righteous Rumble.
Thunder Knuckles rips the papers from Jimmy's hands.
Let’s get to the meat and potatoes.
Thunder Knuckles looks over the paper.
You have to be fucking shitting me.
Thunder Knuckles looks over at Jimmy. Jimmy shrugs like a big idiot.
Jimmy has two stick figures drawn on this paper, in crayon, one black, and one red. Now, this is fucking special. Jimmy doesn't normally write shit like this. This is funny. This fucking paper just has the word “Jobber” on it.
Thunder Knuckles looks back at Jimmy.
Then why are you so bent about getting this the fuck done? We have fucking time, bro! Thunder Knuckles fulfills all his obligations no matter what. It's kinda my fucking thing. They pay, I show up-
Jimmy cuts off Thunder Knuckles because he isn't aware of how urgent this truly is.
No, We don’t You're running out of time right now as we speak! I’m just so happy to see the Camera crew I had sent over followed you.
Wait. They've been recording since they got here? They met me in the fucking hotel room. Fuck no. This shit is fucking over!
Thunder Knuckles throws the papers in the air.
It's two fucking jobbers, Jimmy! I was just in the fight of my fucking life days ago! Now you want Ol' Thunder Knuckles to shuck and jive for American dollars? Give me a fucking break, motherfucker! Take a fucking light touch. Get the fuck out of here, man!
Thunder Knuckles looks over at the cameraman.
Hey, mother fucker give me your camera. We have some fucking editing and talking to do!
Thunder Knuckles lunges over toward the cameraman, the camera is hit and the digital picture is trashed but the sound is still rolling.
Alight mother fucker those hookers weren’t fucking dead, you got m-
The sound cuts out.
