Post by Alessandro Quagliaterre on Feb 27, 2021 22:58:02 GMT -6
*The following is accurate at the time of this airing*
Suspended in animation.
That was the state for everyone competing at Inferno on 26th February. The viewers may call it tape delay, the production may call it technical difficulties. For the wrestlers they had been going on simultaneously in all their matches for more than 24 hours.
In the middle of his non-title hardcore match with Crash Rodriguez, Alessandro Quagliaterre rolled out of the ring.
It was absolute carnage, but because Alessandro was such a boss, he could both compete in the middle of a match, and cut a promo for what was to come ahead.
"This is the sort of wrestling that Zybala and his minions over on Outsiders love right. Absolute carnage and mayhem."
Alessandro had a look of disgust on his face.
"Trashbag wrestling, absolute scum of the earth at it's finest. Hardcore matches are for really bad wrestlers who can't wrestle properly, and have to use all these props and weapons to mask the fact that they're technically inept."
Alessandro loathed hardcore matches.
"Which is also the foundation for backyard wrestling."
He also hated backyarders.
"Honestly. I'm still mad Zybala hasn't responded to my letter of complaint. I know as hell he sure got, because I sent it via tracked delivery with FedEx. Even if a dog did poop in it."
This really happened, watch this previous outsider video he did.
"Hood and Rockwell, the commentators, just told me that a certain someone is planning to don a mask and appear as Vacant, in order to weasel his way into a fight with me, after I said no."
Alessandro didn't look very impressed.
"Some say I've been ducking him? But if I gave a shit what anyone says, I wouldn't be where I am today in wrestling."
Alessandro was and still is big time.
"Tony the Spider, The Lost Soul, or for the purpose of this ruse VACANT!
He may think he's really clever trying to get one over me. He can quote the rapper Drake's song in his promos to try get under my skin, but it won't work. He makes good music, I'm glad VACANT is a fan.
Honestly, what he won't be a fan of... is after I appear on Dystopia and embarrass them, they ain't ever going to want this smoke."
Metaphorical smoke. Not actual smoke.
"I addressed this issue on Inferno, had it aired last night when it should have, you would have known my reasons for doing so..."
He paused.
"Seeing as it hasn't, I guess I can spin it a different way, because Outsiders is meant to be fun right?"
He beatboxed the sound of a klaxon.
"WRONG!"
He disagreed.
"This is serious business, wrestling is serious. This isn't a joke to me, and when someone who chooses to dress up like a gimp and come step up to me, I'm going to knock them seven ways till Sunday and put them in their place.
You want a fight VACANT? You're not going to get one. Once SUNDAY NIGHT Inferno is finished... I'll be showing up to Dystopia 19 for one purpose and one purpose only. Beat the living shit out of you, and show you what a real wrestler looks like.
Because when you're run of the mill average, you're VACANT the wrestler. But when you're the best thing to happen to Outsiders since Zybala hit puberty... you're the one, and only... ALESSANDRO QUAGLIATERRE!
GAPE UP VACANT, YOU'RE GOING TO GET FUCKED!"
Alessandro then rolled back into the ring to finish his match with Crash.
