Post by zybala on Jan 9, 2020 8:58:53 GMT -6
We open up in the yard. The fans are already in their seats, most of the adults have beers in hand. Mitch is standing in the ring. Zybala is at the refrigerator box they call the announce table, and next to it is Commissioner Annie in her bean bag chair. Emilio is unseen behind the camera. Zybala messes with the laptop and "Da Funk" starts playing over the speakers. The fans cheer as President Dean makes his way down the driveway to the ring, pausing along the way to high-five the fans. He enters the ring, pulls a microphone from his back pocket, Zybala stops the music and let the show begin!!
Dean: What's up suckas?!?!?! (Cheering) Welcome to the FIFTH installment of OCW Dystopia!! We have three high paced matches for you this show. First we will see The Gimp take on "One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim. Then it will be the man simply known as 12 vs River Echo. Finally, our main event of the eveningwill be a triple threat match featuring "Hulking" Hubert H. Harris, Coquefiddler th' Impudent, and "Crazy" Chuck Stacks. So without further adieu, let's get this mother fucker started!!!!
The fans cheer more as Dean exits the ring and hands his microphone to Annie, who gets in the ring to announce the participants of our first match.
Annie: The first match of the evening is scheduled for one fall! Coming to the ring first, Hailing from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at 235 pounds, this is The Gimp!!!
"Real American" plays over the speakers without the little snafu we had the last time. The Gimp steps out into the yard, singing and strutting along to his music. He high-fives the fans as he makes is way to the ring. He enters and awaits his opponent as the music stops.
Annie: And the person who will be facing him. She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!
Zybala cues up the trusty YouTube and plays "Don't You (Forget About Me) and then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well and Cori Haim walks into the yard to the cheers of the Yardies. She climbs in the ring as the music stops. Cori and Gimp give each other a handshake as a sign of respect and Mitch calls for the bell.
Dean: This one will be interesting to say the least. On one side of the ring we have the proverbial one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Zybala: And on the other side is a woman who Harrison Ford would blame for his wife's murder. I'm referring to the movie The Fugitive before anyone asks.
Dean: Fair enough.
Cori and Gimp circle each other, looking for an opening. Cori goes to lock up, but Gimp is a little hesitant. Cori yells at him to come on and Gimp reluctantly tries a collar and elbow. From our vantage point, it looks like a very awkward hug, but Cori is able to turn it into a wristlock somehow. Using her only arm, she twists Gimp's arm briefly before he uses the advantage of both his arms to reverse the hold. He then whips Cori into the ropes and she starts to run around in circles around the one legged man. The Gimp takes off his prosthetic leg and throws it at the legs of the running Cori, which trips her up and causes her to land face first on the mat. Gimp hops to grab his fake leg then uses it to start "stomping" on Cori.
Zybala: The most unique stomp in all of wrestling ladies and gentlemen!
Dean: If it was anyone else, that would be considered an illegal weapon, but for The Gimp, it's just his leg.
Cori tries to fend off the attack and uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet. Gimp then takes a wild swing with his leg and Cori ducks and runs. She bounces off the ropes and comes running back with a clothesline, but Gimp ducks and Cori keeps running. She bounces off the opposite ropes and leaps in the air with a spinning heel kick that catches Gimp square in the chest, knocking him off his....foot. Cori stands up and grabs Gimp's foot, flips him over and puts him in a Single Leg Boston Crab.
Zybala: Cori with the submission!! What a move!
Dean: But is it a single leg or a regular Boston Crab given Gimp's condition?
Zybala: It's a move. I'm not here for semantics.
As Mitch is asking if Gimp wants to quit, we can here yelling coming the driveway. Everyone looks towards the sound, including Mitch. Gimp starts to tap and Cori releases the hold thinking she won. However, Mitch didn't see the tap. He's looking at a screaming 12 being followed by River Echo.
12: I said I don't want to see your snake! Living or Trouser!
Echo: I meant the python!
12: I don't care!
Echo grabs 12 by the shoulder, probably to explain the situation, but 12 turns around and swings at Echo, who retaliates. The two start trading fists and forearms and end up in the ring. Cori yells at them to get the hell out of the ring before she gets hit with a stiff forearm from 12. Before Dean or Mitch can get any order, see "Crazy" Chuck Stacks running into the yard with pizza slices sticking out of the top of his pants. Why? Who knows, he's crazy.
Following him is an angry Coquefiddler and a winded Hubert Harris.
Coquefiddler: For sooth naive! Thou hast ruined yon pizza!!
Stacks runs in the ring and hides behind Mitch as the two big men make their way in the ring. Everyone stops and looks confused about what the actual hell is going on. Dean stands up, looking like he has just had the best idea ever.
Dean: You know what? Fuck the later matches. Right now, you seven Suckas are gonna have the first ever OCW battle royal!!!
The fans cheer as everyone is the ring kinda shrugs and starts punching away at the nearest person. Stacks runs out from behind Mitch and attacks Coquefiddler. Cori and Gimp have squared off again. River and 12 are trading blows, and Harris is in the corner, trying to catch his breath.
Dean: Now this is what I'm talking about! This is the action that Outsiders brings to the table!
Zybala: Just be careful. Legend has it that former Boardwalk Wrestling owner Michael Pettis somehow magically appears anytime there is a battle royal.
??: Shut up Zybala.
Zybala looks to the where the voice came from and we see wrestling icon Michael Pettis sitting in the crowd with a big bowl of popcorn, enjoying the action. Zybala is about to ask a question but Pettis loudly shushes him and points to the action. During this distraction, Gimp made his way to the top turnbuckle, but was caught by "Crazy" Stacks and Cori Haim who attempt to go for a double Superplex! Before they can flip Gimp over to his demise, River Echo and 12 hop on the second rope and grab Chuck and Cori from behind! The Yardies are going nuts and Pettis is losing his mind!
Zybala: This doesn't bode well for anybody Deano! Echo and 12 are going for German Suplexes on Stack and Haim, who in turn are trying to superplex Gimp!
Dean: That's not all Zman! Here comes Harris and Coquefiddler!
The two large men go to the corner and slide under 12 and Echo. They then powerbomb the two at the same time! 12 and Echo go crashing to the mat as they drag down Stacks and Haim; hitting them with german suplexes! And last but not least, Gimp hits the mat hard from the force of the superplex and every other move involved. The Yardies are going nuts with chants of "Holy Shit!" filling up the yard! Pettis is especially loud, as his love of battle royals is unrivaled. Coquefiddler and "Hulking" Harris start slugging away at each other for a few moments before Hubert holds up hand for a time out has he is bent over trying to catch his breath. Coquefiddler is not one to let such an opportunity slide by, and since there are no time outs in wrestling, using all his strength, manages to lift all four hundred plus pounds of "Hulking" Hubert H. Harris over the top rope! The fans boo at the elimination as Harris tries to get up, but finds himself too tired. He rolls under the ring and a moment later we can hear a gentle snoring.
Zybala: Apparently it's nap time for the big guy.
Dean: And apparently its run-in time for this match because here comes Guy Cashe and Billy Thomas!
Dean is right! Cashe and Thomas rush into the yard and slide in the ring. They immediately run up to Coquefiddler, who still has his back turned from eliminating Harris and the two pieces of white trash lift up Coquefiddler and tosses him over the top rope! As Coquefiddler hits the grass, the duo starts yelling at him to mind his own business, but run like hell as the big man gets to his feet. Coquefiddler gives chase after the two.
Dean: Definitely bad blood there. Cashe and Thomas are obviously sore that Coquefiddler stopped them for beating a woman at our last show, and have taken revenge tonight.
Zybala: We can talk about that later Dean. We have a match still going on, and more importantly the two biggest guys in the match have just been eliminated. It's anyone's game now!
The remaining competitors are slowly getting back to their feet. Stacks is by the ropes using them to aid him in his quest to stand. 12 has also got to his feet and sees Stacks by the ropes and charges at him. Chuck sees this though and drops down, pulling the ropes with him as 12 draws near. 12 goes flying over the ropes and lands in a heap on the grass. Stacks looks at him and watches 12 slowly get to his feet. Chuck then runs to the opposite side of the ring, bounces off the ropes to get more momentum then charges back towards 12. Chuck leaps over the top rope with a suicide dive and lands right on top of 12!! 12 goes down and "Crazy" Chuck jumps up in victory before running back in the ring. Mitch stops him and explains to him the rules of the battle royal. Chuck looks surprised, then saddened. With his head hung low, Chuck makes his way out of the yard.
Zybala: And just like that we are down to three wrestlers. Chuck thought the dive was a good idea, but apparently forgot that going over the rope is the only way you can lose this type of match.
Dean: Better luck next time for that sucka. But we better focus on the suckas in the ring. All three are back to their feet and having a stare down!
Dean is correct. Haim, The Gimp, and Echo all circle around inside the ring, looking for an opening. Echo suddenly stops and breaks into a sermon, asking God to deliver him the strength to win and to help heal these poor, crippled souls. Gimp and Cori don't take kindly to this as they both rush the priest and throw him out of the ring and to the grass below. Echo is fuming, yelling that is his trying to safe everyone as he makes his way out of the yard.
Zybala: After a whole bunch of shenanigans, we are back down to the final two. Care to make it a pinfall match again Deano?
Dean: Hell no! Let these suckas throw each other out!
The fans cheer and clap as they alternate between chants for both Cori and The Gimp. Cori runs up and drives her knee into the midsection of The Gimp, causing him to double over. She starts swinging her arm with a flurry of blows as The Gimp backs away and tries to use his two arms to cover up. He runs put of room however as he finds himself against the ropes. Cori staggers him with a stiff punch on the jaw, leaving the Gimp seeing stars and leaning against the ropes. Cori backs away several feet then charges at The Gimp and jumps with a high crossbody that connects; sending both competitors over the top rope! Mitch runs over as everyone is eager to know who won. Emilio is there with the camera and all the fans leave their seats to get a better view. Mitch leans over to see Cori laying on the grass, and The Gimp laying on top of "Hulking" Harris who had just emerged from underneath the ring! The fans go wild as Mitch calls for the bell!
Annie: Here is your winner, The Gimp!!!!
"Real American" plays over the speakers as The Gimp slowly gets to his foot. Mitch gets out of the ring and raises Gimp's hand in victory. Cori looks disappointed but gets up, brushes herself off and offers Gimp a handshake which he accepts. They then head out of the yard to the cheers of the crowd as Harris rolls back under the ring, possibly to nap again.
Dean: What wild action we had tonight. Our first ever battle royal and The Gimp's first victory! Things will only get better from here though fans. On the next show we have JAM G taking on The Uber Man!
Zybala: Then it will be our championship match as "The Janitor" Peter Vaughn looks to recapture the OCW title from Matt Meyhu. For President Dean, I'm Mike Zybala, saying Good Fight, Good Night!!
Dean: What's up suckas?!?!?! (Cheering) Welcome to the FIFTH installment of OCW Dystopia!! We have three high paced matches for you this show. First we will see The Gimp take on "One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim. Then it will be the man simply known as 12 vs River Echo. Finally, our main event of the eveningwill be a triple threat match featuring "Hulking" Hubert H. Harris, Coquefiddler th' Impudent, and "Crazy" Chuck Stacks. So without further adieu, let's get this mother fucker started!!!!
The fans cheer more as Dean exits the ring and hands his microphone to Annie, who gets in the ring to announce the participants of our first match.
Annie: The first match of the evening is scheduled for one fall! Coming to the ring first, Hailing from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, weighing in at 235 pounds, this is The Gimp!!!
"Real American" plays over the speakers without the little snafu we had the last time. The Gimp steps out into the yard, singing and strutting along to his music. He high-fives the fans as he makes is way to the ring. He enters and awaits his opponent as the music stops.
Annie: And the person who will be facing him. She calls Key West, Florida her home. She is "The One Armed Goddess" Cori Haim!!!
Zybala cues up the trusty YouTube and plays "Don't You (Forget About Me) and then stands up with one fist in the air. A few members of the crowd do this as well and Cori Haim walks into the yard to the cheers of the Yardies. She climbs in the ring as the music stops. Cori and Gimp give each other a handshake as a sign of respect and Mitch calls for the bell.
Dean: This one will be interesting to say the least. On one side of the ring we have the proverbial one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Zybala: And on the other side is a woman who Harrison Ford would blame for his wife's murder. I'm referring to the movie The Fugitive before anyone asks.
Dean: Fair enough.
Cori and Gimp circle each other, looking for an opening. Cori goes to lock up, but Gimp is a little hesitant. Cori yells at him to come on and Gimp reluctantly tries a collar and elbow. From our vantage point, it looks like a very awkward hug, but Cori is able to turn it into a wristlock somehow. Using her only arm, she twists Gimp's arm briefly before he uses the advantage of both his arms to reverse the hold. He then whips Cori into the ropes and she starts to run around in circles around the one legged man. The Gimp takes off his prosthetic leg and throws it at the legs of the running Cori, which trips her up and causes her to land face first on the mat. Gimp hops to grab his fake leg then uses it to start "stomping" on Cori.
Zybala: The most unique stomp in all of wrestling ladies and gentlemen!
Dean: If it was anyone else, that would be considered an illegal weapon, but for The Gimp, it's just his leg.
Cori tries to fend off the attack and uses the ropes to pull herself to her feet. Gimp then takes a wild swing with his leg and Cori ducks and runs. She bounces off the ropes and comes running back with a clothesline, but Gimp ducks and Cori keeps running. She bounces off the opposite ropes and leaps in the air with a spinning heel kick that catches Gimp square in the chest, knocking him off his....foot. Cori stands up and grabs Gimp's foot, flips him over and puts him in a Single Leg Boston Crab.
Zybala: Cori with the submission!! What a move!
Dean: But is it a single leg or a regular Boston Crab given Gimp's condition?
Zybala: It's a move. I'm not here for semantics.
As Mitch is asking if Gimp wants to quit, we can here yelling coming the driveway. Everyone looks towards the sound, including Mitch. Gimp starts to tap and Cori releases the hold thinking she won. However, Mitch didn't see the tap. He's looking at a screaming 12 being followed by River Echo.
12: I said I don't want to see your snake! Living or Trouser!
Echo: I meant the python!
12: I don't care!
Echo grabs 12 by the shoulder, probably to explain the situation, but 12 turns around and swings at Echo, who retaliates. The two start trading fists and forearms and end up in the ring. Cori yells at them to get the hell out of the ring before she gets hit with a stiff forearm from 12. Before Dean or Mitch can get any order, see "Crazy" Chuck Stacks running into the yard with pizza slices sticking out of the top of his pants. Why? Who knows, he's crazy.
Following him is an angry Coquefiddler and a winded Hubert Harris.
Coquefiddler: For sooth naive! Thou hast ruined yon pizza!!
Stacks runs in the ring and hides behind Mitch as the two big men make their way in the ring. Everyone stops and looks confused about what the actual hell is going on. Dean stands up, looking like he has just had the best idea ever.
Dean: You know what? Fuck the later matches. Right now, you seven Suckas are gonna have the first ever OCW battle royal!!!
The fans cheer as everyone is the ring kinda shrugs and starts punching away at the nearest person. Stacks runs out from behind Mitch and attacks Coquefiddler. Cori and Gimp have squared off again. River and 12 are trading blows, and Harris is in the corner, trying to catch his breath.
Dean: Now this is what I'm talking about! This is the action that Outsiders brings to the table!
Zybala: Just be careful. Legend has it that former Boardwalk Wrestling owner Michael Pettis somehow magically appears anytime there is a battle royal.
??: Shut up Zybala.
Zybala looks to the where the voice came from and we see wrestling icon Michael Pettis sitting in the crowd with a big bowl of popcorn, enjoying the action. Zybala is about to ask a question but Pettis loudly shushes him and points to the action. During this distraction, Gimp made his way to the top turnbuckle, but was caught by "Crazy" Stacks and Cori Haim who attempt to go for a double Superplex! Before they can flip Gimp over to his demise, River Echo and 12 hop on the second rope and grab Chuck and Cori from behind! The Yardies are going nuts and Pettis is losing his mind!
Zybala: This doesn't bode well for anybody Deano! Echo and 12 are going for German Suplexes on Stack and Haim, who in turn are trying to superplex Gimp!
Dean: That's not all Zman! Here comes Harris and Coquefiddler!
The two large men go to the corner and slide under 12 and Echo. They then powerbomb the two at the same time! 12 and Echo go crashing to the mat as they drag down Stacks and Haim; hitting them with german suplexes! And last but not least, Gimp hits the mat hard from the force of the superplex and every other move involved. The Yardies are going nuts with chants of "Holy Shit!" filling up the yard! Pettis is especially loud, as his love of battle royals is unrivaled. Coquefiddler and "Hulking" Harris start slugging away at each other for a few moments before Hubert holds up hand for a time out has he is bent over trying to catch his breath. Coquefiddler is not one to let such an opportunity slide by, and since there are no time outs in wrestling, using all his strength, manages to lift all four hundred plus pounds of "Hulking" Hubert H. Harris over the top rope! The fans boo at the elimination as Harris tries to get up, but finds himself too tired. He rolls under the ring and a moment later we can hear a gentle snoring.
Zybala: Apparently it's nap time for the big guy.
Dean: And apparently its run-in time for this match because here comes Guy Cashe and Billy Thomas!
Dean is right! Cashe and Thomas rush into the yard and slide in the ring. They immediately run up to Coquefiddler, who still has his back turned from eliminating Harris and the two pieces of white trash lift up Coquefiddler and tosses him over the top rope! As Coquefiddler hits the grass, the duo starts yelling at him to mind his own business, but run like hell as the big man gets to his feet. Coquefiddler gives chase after the two.
Dean: Definitely bad blood there. Cashe and Thomas are obviously sore that Coquefiddler stopped them for beating a woman at our last show, and have taken revenge tonight.
Zybala: We can talk about that later Dean. We have a match still going on, and more importantly the two biggest guys in the match have just been eliminated. It's anyone's game now!
The remaining competitors are slowly getting back to their feet. Stacks is by the ropes using them to aid him in his quest to stand. 12 has also got to his feet and sees Stacks by the ropes and charges at him. Chuck sees this though and drops down, pulling the ropes with him as 12 draws near. 12 goes flying over the ropes and lands in a heap on the grass. Stacks looks at him and watches 12 slowly get to his feet. Chuck then runs to the opposite side of the ring, bounces off the ropes to get more momentum then charges back towards 12. Chuck leaps over the top rope with a suicide dive and lands right on top of 12!! 12 goes down and "Crazy" Chuck jumps up in victory before running back in the ring. Mitch stops him and explains to him the rules of the battle royal. Chuck looks surprised, then saddened. With his head hung low, Chuck makes his way out of the yard.
Zybala: And just like that we are down to three wrestlers. Chuck thought the dive was a good idea, but apparently forgot that going over the rope is the only way you can lose this type of match.
Dean: Better luck next time for that sucka. But we better focus on the suckas in the ring. All three are back to their feet and having a stare down!
Dean is correct. Haim, The Gimp, and Echo all circle around inside the ring, looking for an opening. Echo suddenly stops and breaks into a sermon, asking God to deliver him the strength to win and to help heal these poor, crippled souls. Gimp and Cori don't take kindly to this as they both rush the priest and throw him out of the ring and to the grass below. Echo is fuming, yelling that is his trying to safe everyone as he makes his way out of the yard.
Zybala: After a whole bunch of shenanigans, we are back down to the final two. Care to make it a pinfall match again Deano?
Dean: Hell no! Let these suckas throw each other out!
The fans cheer and clap as they alternate between chants for both Cori and The Gimp. Cori runs up and drives her knee into the midsection of The Gimp, causing him to double over. She starts swinging her arm with a flurry of blows as The Gimp backs away and tries to use his two arms to cover up. He runs put of room however as he finds himself against the ropes. Cori staggers him with a stiff punch on the jaw, leaving the Gimp seeing stars and leaning against the ropes. Cori backs away several feet then charges at The Gimp and jumps with a high crossbody that connects; sending both competitors over the top rope! Mitch runs over as everyone is eager to know who won. Emilio is there with the camera and all the fans leave their seats to get a better view. Mitch leans over to see Cori laying on the grass, and The Gimp laying on top of "Hulking" Harris who had just emerged from underneath the ring! The fans go wild as Mitch calls for the bell!
Annie: Here is your winner, The Gimp!!!!
"Real American" plays over the speakers as The Gimp slowly gets to his foot. Mitch gets out of the ring and raises Gimp's hand in victory. Cori looks disappointed but gets up, brushes herself off and offers Gimp a handshake which he accepts. They then head out of the yard to the cheers of the crowd as Harris rolls back under the ring, possibly to nap again.
Dean: What wild action we had tonight. Our first ever battle royal and The Gimp's first victory! Things will only get better from here though fans. On the next show we have JAM G taking on The Uber Man!
Zybala: Then it will be our championship match as "The Janitor" Peter Vaughn looks to recapture the OCW title from Matt Meyhu. For President Dean, I'm Mike Zybala, saying Good Fight, Good Night!!