Minimum Effort for minimum opponents
Dec 9, 2020 13:10:52 GMT -6
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Deana Barrows and Dylan Thomas like this
Post by zybala on Dec 9, 2020 13:10:52 GMT -6
A few weeks ago, Lucas Thames and I announced the official formation of the next group to take GCWA by storm as we teamed up with "The Champion of Managers" Peter Vaughn to form Life Before Death. We were ready to shake up the tag team landscape and quickly work our ways up the ranks. We thought that we would be booked right away. We thought that Dean Barrows would be interested to see how two guys who are forever involved in any title picture would work together. We thought wrong.
Though it's not really anyone's fault. We had that week off after the last pay per view. Then I was able to cash in the title shot I received for not only laying down for Aaron Warthog, but also introducing the best selling GCWA action figure since the "Pryde vs Prude" double set. I got a match against Warstein and should have walked out as the new North American champion, but that match ended in a controversial manner. I'm not worried about it though, I'm sure Warstein and I aren't finished with each other just yet.
So here we are, three weeks later and Lucas and I finally get our first match together. Do we get the chance to shine, though? Do we get Sins of the Father? How about a shot at the Legacy who are holding the tag belts that I was screwed out of? Do we even get Enforcer and Justice? No. We got booked against god damn Thunder and Lightning. We got Wrath of the Storm. A team so jobbery that I've never even bothered to book them for Outsiders, and I try to book EVERYONE! That only proves to me that Deana thinks so little of Thames and I.
Even though we had already beat The Greek Gods, that was just two single wrestlers getting stuck together. So this is our first match as an official team. You could argue that this is a chance for L.B.D. to test the proverbial waters before jumping into the pool of the tag division. The appetizer before the main course. Thunder and Lightning aren't even an appetizer. They are more like that sprig of parsley that you wonder why the cook even bothered. You know that it's going to get ignored and thrown out at the end of the meal. You feel bad for the sprig as it sits on the side of the plate as you eat your meal as it gets ignored, but you still don't eat it. That's what Lightning and Thunder are. Not worth the time of being eaten.
But wait! The cook seems to have added some seasoning to the sprig. The boys have a sponsor now! Someone wants to eat the parsley apparently and that's lit a fire under W.o.t.S. They feel special now. They feel like they can take on Lucas and a former tag team champion. They feel like they're ready for the big time. All they're gonna be feeling is pain! They'll have their match with us, they will lose and the mysterious sponsor will leave them high and dry. Then they'll be right back where they started. You can spray as much perfume on a turd all you want boys, it's still a piece of shit at the end of the day.
But let me ask you something. Why would you think that Lucas losing his title shot would make him easy pickings? Hell, we both lost our shots on the last show. That doesn't lower our morale. It makes us angry. It makes us even hungrier for the next title shot. It makes us frustrated, and it makes us want to take out all of that frustration out on the next people we face. Sadly, that's you guys. You have the unfortunate luck of going against an angry pile of muscles in Lucas and someone who wants to make an example out of you for Mz. Barrows and Warstein.
You would think that after seeing my matches against Duce and Dylan Thomas that people would think twice about messing with me or screwing me over. I thought that seeing what depraved lengths I would go to to get revenge on people would make people a little wary of me. I guess people need a reminder. That's where Thunder and Lightning come in. You're going to be my examples. I'm gonna use you guys as the trailer for what's going to happen next time I face Warstein and get what rightfully belongs to me. After I'm done with the both of you, you won't have to worry about getting tickets for Piff the Magic Dragon or whatever the act is. You'll be too sore to even get out of bed. Don't worry though, I'll send you guys some Zybala Wrestling Buddies for you to hold on too. But don't try to wrestle them. You would lose to those as well.
Though it's not really anyone's fault. We had that week off after the last pay per view. Then I was able to cash in the title shot I received for not only laying down for Aaron Warthog, but also introducing the best selling GCWA action figure since the "Pryde vs Prude" double set. I got a match against Warstein and should have walked out as the new North American champion, but that match ended in a controversial manner. I'm not worried about it though, I'm sure Warstein and I aren't finished with each other just yet.
So here we are, three weeks later and Lucas and I finally get our first match together. Do we get the chance to shine, though? Do we get Sins of the Father? How about a shot at the Legacy who are holding the tag belts that I was screwed out of? Do we even get Enforcer and Justice? No. We got booked against god damn Thunder and Lightning. We got Wrath of the Storm. A team so jobbery that I've never even bothered to book them for Outsiders, and I try to book EVERYONE! That only proves to me that Deana thinks so little of Thames and I.
Even though we had already beat The Greek Gods, that was just two single wrestlers getting stuck together. So this is our first match as an official team. You could argue that this is a chance for L.B.D. to test the proverbial waters before jumping into the pool of the tag division. The appetizer before the main course. Thunder and Lightning aren't even an appetizer. They are more like that sprig of parsley that you wonder why the cook even bothered. You know that it's going to get ignored and thrown out at the end of the meal. You feel bad for the sprig as it sits on the side of the plate as you eat your meal as it gets ignored, but you still don't eat it. That's what Lightning and Thunder are. Not worth the time of being eaten.
But wait! The cook seems to have added some seasoning to the sprig. The boys have a sponsor now! Someone wants to eat the parsley apparently and that's lit a fire under W.o.t.S. They feel special now. They feel like they can take on Lucas and a former tag team champion. They feel like they're ready for the big time. All they're gonna be feeling is pain! They'll have their match with us, they will lose and the mysterious sponsor will leave them high and dry. Then they'll be right back where they started. You can spray as much perfume on a turd all you want boys, it's still a piece of shit at the end of the day.
But let me ask you something. Why would you think that Lucas losing his title shot would make him easy pickings? Hell, we both lost our shots on the last show. That doesn't lower our morale. It makes us angry. It makes us even hungrier for the next title shot. It makes us frustrated, and it makes us want to take out all of that frustration out on the next people we face. Sadly, that's you guys. You have the unfortunate luck of going against an angry pile of muscles in Lucas and someone who wants to make an example out of you for Mz. Barrows and Warstein.
You would think that after seeing my matches against Duce and Dylan Thomas that people would think twice about messing with me or screwing me over. I thought that seeing what depraved lengths I would go to to get revenge on people would make people a little wary of me. I guess people need a reminder. That's where Thunder and Lightning come in. You're going to be my examples. I'm gonna use you guys as the trailer for what's going to happen next time I face Warstein and get what rightfully belongs to me. After I'm done with the both of you, you won't have to worry about getting tickets for Piff the Magic Dragon or whatever the act is. You'll be too sore to even get out of bed. Don't worry though, I'll send you guys some Zybala Wrestling Buddies for you to hold on too. But don't try to wrestle them. You would lose to those as well.