"The Greatest Person to Ever Live?" Part 2
Jan 27, 2021 23:27:12 GMT -6
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Post by Alessandro Quagliaterre on Jan 27, 2021 23:27:12 GMT -6
28th January 2021.
It’s a special day today...
43 years ago…
A woman who would have been better off in life, had they been pro-abortion...
Gave birth to a super ugly baby named Anthony Cross, known to GCWA fans as Enforcer.
Alessandro Quagliaterre was in a room full of birthday celebrations. From a glittery banner to holographic streamers on the edges of the wall, along with an excessive amount of party balloons. There was even a piñata.
“You’d think all these decorations were for Enforcer?!?”
Alessandro cackled.
“As hard as it may be to believe... while I commend and respect his effort to be a professional wrestler for the better part of two and a half decades… outside of that, I have zero chill, and zero f’s to give when it comes to any aspect of his life outside of a squared circle.”
It appeared the decorations were not for Enforcer. It’s not uncommon for someone to share a birthday with someone else. There are over seven billion in the world, so it’s a high probability for people across the world to be born on the same day.
“These decorations are for someone else, because the world does not revolve around Enforcer. The world is a much better place when the idiotic dubbed Greatest Person That Ever Lived... isn’t mentioned at all.”
Alessandro sighed.
“Unfortunately as this airing live across the world right now, and I am contractually obligated to hype up my next match, I guess I will have to mention you, even if only in spite.”
A smirk grew across his cheeks.
“So enjoy your birthday today, spend time with your wife, your child, eat some cake, pig out on the grub and have a cheat day. Cherish every moment you get.”
The smirk suddenly disappeared to an expression of valiant poise.
“Because it will be the only thing you will be celebrating this week, for come Sunday... When you're left with absolutely nothing... No victory, no title, and no pride left in you... the only thing you will be able to celebrate is contemplating your life choice to ever be a professional wrestler.”
Alessandro had the most disingenuous smile plastered along his face, with a cheeky thumbs up.
“Have a great day. Cuck! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! WOO!”
The thumbs-up, shifted to a thumbs down as the scene momentarily faded to black.
“I’ve never seen a man as smugly serene as Enforcer... going into a Championship match this Sunday for Adrenaline Rush.”
Whilst washing his hands for twenty seconds, Alessandro found himself astonished.
“He like… for real… has his head so far up his ass, that he believes the bullshit that comes out of his mouth.”
Alessandro was not a fan of people who talk with a lot of poop logic.
“Let me remind all of you... that this man is the same man, who got punked out by a cat on a fence, while smoking a cigar before the Righteous Rumble.”
Cats can be scary!
“The same man, who wanted to report the Television Championship as stolen... to two fake rental cops, because he couldn’t handle losing to E.W. Montgomery.”
Following the law is not a crime, except Enforcer was meant to be ex-mafia… mafia people aren’t meant to be snitches. Snitches get stitches.
“The same man who before the first Inferno of 2021, went and prepared for the main event matchup against Betsy and Atara, by playing a round of golf! He even tried to tell TV executives how to run a network, because he thinks he’s someone that matters?”
Alessandro was pretty good at crazy golf. Point being, terrible preparation for a match by Enforcer. No wonder he lost.
“Holy Shit! If this is who I have to contend with at Adrenaline Rush, then we’re all doomed. Got this man running around here thinking like he’s the second coming of Jesus Christ.”
Jesus does not walk among us yet. Don’t believe the Kanye West song.
“Let’s not GOD MODE Anthony... you’ve fought human punching bags your whole GCWA career, and you haven’t dominated the way you think you have... if you had, you wouldn’t boast a 13-9 record.”
That’s a record of a man who sucks.
“That doesn’t make you a proven champion. It makes you a placeholder at best. Bad news is... I’m not going to give you this win like Tony the Spider did. Or E.W Montgomery. Or any other snowflake opponent you’ve had.”
“If you’ve beaten someone memorable in GCWA, I’ve never heard of them. But that’s the problem when you’re the hardest working wrestler alive like me. Nobody can reach me. Hell, someone could say that you and I are very similar. But you’ve been doing this a lot longer than me...and I’m still better than you.”
Alessandro was very confident in mopping the damn floor with Enforcer and taking a shit down his throat at Adrenaline Rush.
“24 years in the game. You’ve wasted every one of them. Doesn’t matter that I said you had a ‘well-rounded game’ last time out and that’s a statement I stand by…
The reality is I surpassed everything you’re ever going to do, before I was in kindergarten.”
While Enforcer was making his debut, Alessandro was mastering the art of Play-doh.
“Here’s the truth. I’ve watched enough tape, and I’ve seen you do your thing in person. For someone that’s old enough to be my father, and with the longevity, you have had in this business, your execution is sloppy.”
Sloppiness is the number one trait of lazy people.
“Can you get done, what you need to get done, when you absolutely have to? The answer for you Anthony, is no… you can not.”
“You’re not even a champion that GCWA can rely on, because you don’t value yourself. I stand here today... four days away from easily the biggest match of your GCWA Career and I see a man that is afraid. I see a man that is back-pedaling in everything he believes in because he is aware of the inevitable.”
Getting beat by Alessandro.
“Need proof? I’ll gladly reaffirm this.”
“Before Inferno last week... you very proudly said before facing pasta man Al Fredo that you have ‘bigger things to deal with’ like ‘remaining world television champion’. Then after you struggled to beat that same man, who has never won a match in his life… you backed down”
“Meanwhile I was busy being bossing two opponents, in half the time, winning two matches in one night…”
“Do you know what that proved? For you, it proved nothing, but for the world and myself… it proved that whatever you can do… I can do better”
For Alessandro was the bestest.
“This was further confirmed after I saw you cut quite possibly one of the worst promos I’ve ever seen in my life at HOG Wrestling in front of a bunch of amateur wrestling beginners.”
HOG Talk!
“Any pearls of wisdom you imparted on them trainees, was pointless, because you’re full of crap. I’m ruthless, and there will be no preferential treatment given to you because I give my opponents absolutely nothing. I’m going to take great pleasure this Sunday, flushing down the skid mark of your TV title reign, and cleaning up the whole division piece by piece from the absolute shitshow which you have let it become.”
Believe that!
“No need to thank me for doing what needs to be done. You can thank me later.”
The End!