Post by Savage on Dec 12, 2019 15:26:01 GMT -6
YEEEEEHAW, and all that stereotypical Southern shit!
Yup, Tony's back in the bad dye job and hillbilly regalia again, sporting a NASCAR shirt with beer and Skoal chewing tabbacy stains. In order to beat his opponents, Tony tries to read the book of his quarry. And since it was Chad Vargas and Bobbles, it was an easy read. Written in crayon on wide rule paper. So, when he thought of a place for a bigoted, ignorant, cheapskate redneck motherfucker to get his grub on, that light bulb popped up...
Yup! Your one stop shop for fried chicken and homophobia!
Tony Chad walks up to the counter, and his face scrunches up when he sees a young Mexican American named Josh at the register.
Welcome to Chik-Fil-A, sir. What can I get...
Chickeno Sandwicho, amigo!
Uhm, what?
No habla, border jumper? Chickeno Sandwicho! Vamos, before I call immigration on you!
Uh, sir, I can speak English perfectly fine. In fact, I'm majoring in English at SMU...
Well, good for you, burrito smuggler! Bet that DACA's been doing y'all real good, you welfare sponge!
Poor Josh groans.Sir, are you going to order...
Hell yeah, I'm gonna order. I'ma order your ass back to Mexico for stealing jobs from hard working Americans...
Dude, I live in the suburbs! The hell's wrong with you?
Since I'm Chad Vargas, amigo, it's most likely inbreeding and cheap grain alcohol! But like that matters, I'm the GCWA Tag Champion!
Just you? Don't you have, like, a partner?
Of course I do, he's.... He looks behind him, and Bob is nowhere to be found.Oh, goddamnit! He's probably off getting high again! Surprised you're not out there getting blunted and playing mariachi music while you wait for the day labor truck to pick you up!
Okay, sir, I've had enough! If you're not going to order, I'm going to get my manager....
No, vato, I'm the one that gets your manager!
Now Josh looks like he's about to have a stroke. That...that doesn't make any sense!
I don't have to make sense! I'm Chad Vargas! I'm the greatest tag champion in the history of tag champions! I'm tired of this weak ass GCWA booking, and I'm...
In hiding after you found out Tony Savage and Brady Vega are now on your ass, you stump jumping pendejo! Yeah, way to really step up when real competition comes down the pipe, huh?
Pfft...*fake scoff hiding real fear*...Tony's nothing! Yeah, I suppose he's the hottest star in GCWA, that's shown up almost every week despite adversity and massive injury to put on fantastic efforts and promote the company, while I just show up whenever I feel like it to whoop on jobbers at the last minute. So what if he's smarter, more talented, better looking, as has a better work ethic. Plus, unlike my joke of a partner, Brady is a grinder with an impressive resume...
God DAMN it, Paco! How dare you make me critically think! Now it's CHAD SMASH TIME!!
And on cue, "Chad" does what "Chad" does best; act like a spastic who got his favorite toy taken away! He smack poor Josh, then pulls a Favre in Super Troopers, leaping over the counter and trashing shit. He throws chicken batter at customers, kicks over deep fryers.
I'M CHAD VARGAS! I DO WHAT I WANT! I LET MY NUTTS HANG! KING KONG AIN'T GOT SHIT ON MEEEEE!!
5 minutes later....
Ow!
Yup, Dallas P.D.'s got him cuffed and slammed against the squad car. Kids, this is what really happens when you pull shit like Jack-ass Daniels does. But then again, the dude lives in his own delusional world. A little fun fact, wrestling fans; most wrestlers put on fronts. Spoon feed you bullshit and do their best to convince you they're nigh invincible. But, once the sunlight hits, that illusion disperses.
Tony is one slick motherfucker with the production. As the cops frisk him, he smiles, and with one world, he ends the fun part of the shoot.
Cut!
The cops uncuff him, and as he massages his wrists, he orders a bulldozer to tear down the restaurant. The property was abandoned, and Tony bought it, just to set up a Popeyes to rub it into the face of that other bigoted chicken joint.
Popeye's. Great chicken, no byassed views.
Tony shakes hands with the fine men and women of Dallas P.D., and looks with satisfaction as that old dump is getting demolished to make way for something bigger and better. Yeah, it's a pretty fitting metaphor for what's going to happen at Darkness Falls.
A decrepit, hateful, old shell being pushed aside, for something newer and better. Tony's turns to the camera, smiling.
Yeah, I know, some of you are like "But Tony, we've seen your boxing camp report. What's a guy that eats almost strictly organic doing investing in fast food?"
I'm not a fan of it myself, personally. Hell, just a couple weeks ago, I ate my first Chicken McNugget in my life. Still don't get what the big deal is; it's grade B chicken wrapped in batter. But, people like that shit. And, it makes money. You've seen the way I ball till I fall; it takes a steady stream of revenue to keep up the lifestyle.
Sometimes, you gotta go out of your comfort zone to achieve a dream. So, I invested in the quick service game. My wife tells me to expand my horizons. Most of the time, she's right as rain.
Still bitter she didn't bother to tell me her damn mother's coming to stay for Christmas...ugh...
Same with tag team wrestling. Last time I won a tag title, it was nearly six years ago. It's not my forte, really. Considering how many times I had a partner take a shit on me in other places I worked over the years, or the powers that be sticking me with motherfuckers they know don't mesh together just to fill a card. Stuff like that does tend to leave a foul taste in your mouth for the division.
But when Brady Vega and I got together to discuss business, suddenly, my faith in the division was renewed. I mean, it's hard to find somebody that does mesh. After all, look at how my and B's lives parallel...
Both college educated, both guys that won world titles and helped build federations, and both guys slapped with the label of being bad eggs by people either jealous of what we can do, or by people with narrow assed views on how a wrestler should conduct themselves. He's isn't just a good dude and great wrestler, he's a reminder that new avenues lead to new opportunities. A fresh start. That's why I don't tote guns anymore or do that merc shit. The killing I do these days is in the ring, or on the shoots.
And with the prosperous yet fragile state GCWA is in, the place needs a breath of fresh air. Because God knows stagnation leads to death. And with a team like Vargas and Mr. No-Show repping the belts and moving like stale pond water, this division needs a demolition job in order for something better t obe built up in its place.
Concrete turns to powder, and metal bends as the bulldozer tears through the derelict building. Tony keeps smiling as he witnesses the deconstruction process.
It wasn't too long ago that Redneck Rampage was bitching about the "weak ass booking" in the fed. All that griping and hollering about how he can't get any good competition. But it's funny; as soon as an apex predator showed up, looking to play the game, the hillbilly's been inside with his ball tucked under his arm. It's been weeks since we heard the ol' stump jumper bump his gums. Then again, that's usually his style; unfashionably late.
Heh. Least he shows up. Ever since Bob signed a contract, sightings of that guy's been rarer than double rainbows after a storm. Let's face it, the only time that guy seems to show up is to collect a paycheck. Or get his ass worked like a heavy bag during a training session. Doubt me; just see what happened when he stepped to me. It's on record.
Yeah, just what a place needs. Couple of played out, slacking ass morons skating by, when this company needs people that can put in the work needed to take the company to the next level. New faces, new perspectives.
But, in order to build something newer and better, it is necessary to tear down the old and rotten.
One of the construction workers hands him a hardhat, and Tony strides to a pile of rubble. He scoops a pile of drywall debris with his massive, knockout dispensing hands, and silt sifts through his fingers.
Chad, Bobby, if you are watching, here's the thing...
You wanted primo competition, now here it is. Two of the hottest fighters in the game, not just GCWA, are at your doorstep, letting you know we're the new owners of the Tag Team Division. The company needs a fresh start in this division. It needs fighters willing to do the things you guys are not willing to do. They need guys that are going to promote far and wide. They're going to need people that do the job on a consistent basis, not when it fucking suits them.That's the nature of the business, hell, of any business. When something starts to under-perform, becomes a liability, it has to be removed.
You to slackers have been just that; under performing. You've skated too long on the easy route. There's a new business model.
This site, this is the perfect metaphor for what's going to happen COME FIGHT NIGHT!
The two sport superstar, and one of wrestling's fastest rising stars, here to bring a new business model to the Tag division. Because the prior owners, they did things the wrong way.
Tony surveys the construction site. He kicks around rubble near his feet, the various noises and rumbles of machinery busy working to deconstruct this obsolete structure.
You wanted great competition, boys, you got it now. There's only one problem. When you go against a rival greater than you, that sentiment comes back to bite you in the ass. You guys haven't been doing a great job to keep up with the new wave in the company. And when you can't quite cut it, can't keep up with the new operation on the block....
His hand waves around the site, the old eatery sign getting crushed underneath machinery treads is a nice, visceral way to drive Tony's point home.
Yeah, I don't think I really need to explain in anymore detail about the end results, do I?
Yup, Tony's back in the bad dye job and hillbilly regalia again, sporting a NASCAR shirt with beer and Skoal chewing tabbacy stains. In order to beat his opponents, Tony tries to read the book of his quarry. And since it was Chad Vargas and Bobbles, it was an easy read. Written in crayon on wide rule paper. So, when he thought of a place for a bigoted, ignorant, cheapskate redneck motherfucker to get his grub on, that light bulb popped up...
Yup! Your one stop shop for fried chicken and homophobia!
Tony Chad walks up to the counter, and his face scrunches up when he sees a young Mexican American named Josh at the register.
Welcome to Chik-Fil-A, sir. What can I get...
Chickeno Sandwicho, amigo!
Uhm, what?
No habla, border jumper? Chickeno Sandwicho! Vamos, before I call immigration on you!
Uh, sir, I can speak English perfectly fine. In fact, I'm majoring in English at SMU...
Well, good for you, burrito smuggler! Bet that DACA's been doing y'all real good, you welfare sponge!
Poor Josh groans.Sir, are you going to order...
Hell yeah, I'm gonna order. I'ma order your ass back to Mexico for stealing jobs from hard working Americans...
Dude, I live in the suburbs! The hell's wrong with you?
Since I'm Chad Vargas, amigo, it's most likely inbreeding and cheap grain alcohol! But like that matters, I'm the GCWA Tag Champion!
Just you? Don't you have, like, a partner?
Of course I do, he's.... He looks behind him, and Bob is nowhere to be found.Oh, goddamnit! He's probably off getting high again! Surprised you're not out there getting blunted and playing mariachi music while you wait for the day labor truck to pick you up!
Okay, sir, I've had enough! If you're not going to order, I'm going to get my manager....
No, vato, I'm the one that gets your manager!
Now Josh looks like he's about to have a stroke. That...that doesn't make any sense!
I don't have to make sense! I'm Chad Vargas! I'm the greatest tag champion in the history of tag champions! I'm tired of this weak ass GCWA booking, and I'm...
In hiding after you found out Tony Savage and Brady Vega are now on your ass, you stump jumping pendejo! Yeah, way to really step up when real competition comes down the pipe, huh?
Pfft...*fake scoff hiding real fear*...Tony's nothing! Yeah, I suppose he's the hottest star in GCWA, that's shown up almost every week despite adversity and massive injury to put on fantastic efforts and promote the company, while I just show up whenever I feel like it to whoop on jobbers at the last minute. So what if he's smarter, more talented, better looking, as has a better work ethic. Plus, unlike my joke of a partner, Brady is a grinder with an impressive resume...
God DAMN it, Paco! How dare you make me critically think! Now it's CHAD SMASH TIME!!
And on cue, "Chad" does what "Chad" does best; act like a spastic who got his favorite toy taken away! He smack poor Josh, then pulls a Favre in Super Troopers, leaping over the counter and trashing shit. He throws chicken batter at customers, kicks over deep fryers.
I'M CHAD VARGAS! I DO WHAT I WANT! I LET MY NUTTS HANG! KING KONG AIN'T GOT SHIT ON MEEEEE!!
5 minutes later....
Ow!
Yup, Dallas P.D.'s got him cuffed and slammed against the squad car. Kids, this is what really happens when you pull shit like Jack-ass Daniels does. But then again, the dude lives in his own delusional world. A little fun fact, wrestling fans; most wrestlers put on fronts. Spoon feed you bullshit and do their best to convince you they're nigh invincible. But, once the sunlight hits, that illusion disperses.
Tony is one slick motherfucker with the production. As the cops frisk him, he smiles, and with one world, he ends the fun part of the shoot.
Cut!
The cops uncuff him, and as he massages his wrists, he orders a bulldozer to tear down the restaurant. The property was abandoned, and Tony bought it, just to set up a Popeyes to rub it into the face of that other bigoted chicken joint.
Popeye's. Great chicken, no byassed views.
Tony shakes hands with the fine men and women of Dallas P.D., and looks with satisfaction as that old dump is getting demolished to make way for something bigger and better. Yeah, it's a pretty fitting metaphor for what's going to happen at Darkness Falls.
A decrepit, hateful, old shell being pushed aside, for something newer and better. Tony's turns to the camera, smiling.
Yeah, I know, some of you are like "But Tony, we've seen your boxing camp report. What's a guy that eats almost strictly organic doing investing in fast food?"
I'm not a fan of it myself, personally. Hell, just a couple weeks ago, I ate my first Chicken McNugget in my life. Still don't get what the big deal is; it's grade B chicken wrapped in batter. But, people like that shit. And, it makes money. You've seen the way I ball till I fall; it takes a steady stream of revenue to keep up the lifestyle.
Sometimes, you gotta go out of your comfort zone to achieve a dream. So, I invested in the quick service game. My wife tells me to expand my horizons. Most of the time, she's right as rain.
Still bitter she didn't bother to tell me her damn mother's coming to stay for Christmas...ugh...
Same with tag team wrestling. Last time I won a tag title, it was nearly six years ago. It's not my forte, really. Considering how many times I had a partner take a shit on me in other places I worked over the years, or the powers that be sticking me with motherfuckers they know don't mesh together just to fill a card. Stuff like that does tend to leave a foul taste in your mouth for the division.
But when Brady Vega and I got together to discuss business, suddenly, my faith in the division was renewed. I mean, it's hard to find somebody that does mesh. After all, look at how my and B's lives parallel...
Both college educated, both guys that won world titles and helped build federations, and both guys slapped with the label of being bad eggs by people either jealous of what we can do, or by people with narrow assed views on how a wrestler should conduct themselves. He's isn't just a good dude and great wrestler, he's a reminder that new avenues lead to new opportunities. A fresh start. That's why I don't tote guns anymore or do that merc shit. The killing I do these days is in the ring, or on the shoots.
And with the prosperous yet fragile state GCWA is in, the place needs a breath of fresh air. Because God knows stagnation leads to death. And with a team like Vargas and Mr. No-Show repping the belts and moving like stale pond water, this division needs a demolition job in order for something better t obe built up in its place.
Concrete turns to powder, and metal bends as the bulldozer tears through the derelict building. Tony keeps smiling as he witnesses the deconstruction process.
It wasn't too long ago that Redneck Rampage was bitching about the "weak ass booking" in the fed. All that griping and hollering about how he can't get any good competition. But it's funny; as soon as an apex predator showed up, looking to play the game, the hillbilly's been inside with his ball tucked under his arm. It's been weeks since we heard the ol' stump jumper bump his gums. Then again, that's usually his style; unfashionably late.
Heh. Least he shows up. Ever since Bob signed a contract, sightings of that guy's been rarer than double rainbows after a storm. Let's face it, the only time that guy seems to show up is to collect a paycheck. Or get his ass worked like a heavy bag during a training session. Doubt me; just see what happened when he stepped to me. It's on record.
Yeah, just what a place needs. Couple of played out, slacking ass morons skating by, when this company needs people that can put in the work needed to take the company to the next level. New faces, new perspectives.
But, in order to build something newer and better, it is necessary to tear down the old and rotten.
One of the construction workers hands him a hardhat, and Tony strides to a pile of rubble. He scoops a pile of drywall debris with his massive, knockout dispensing hands, and silt sifts through his fingers.
Chad, Bobby, if you are watching, here's the thing...
You wanted primo competition, now here it is. Two of the hottest fighters in the game, not just GCWA, are at your doorstep, letting you know we're the new owners of the Tag Team Division. The company needs a fresh start in this division. It needs fighters willing to do the things you guys are not willing to do. They need guys that are going to promote far and wide. They're going to need people that do the job on a consistent basis, not when it fucking suits them.That's the nature of the business, hell, of any business. When something starts to under-perform, becomes a liability, it has to be removed.
You to slackers have been just that; under performing. You've skated too long on the easy route. There's a new business model.
This site, this is the perfect metaphor for what's going to happen COME FIGHT NIGHT!
The two sport superstar, and one of wrestling's fastest rising stars, here to bring a new business model to the Tag division. Because the prior owners, they did things the wrong way.
Tony surveys the construction site. He kicks around rubble near his feet, the various noises and rumbles of machinery busy working to deconstruct this obsolete structure.
You wanted great competition, boys, you got it now. There's only one problem. When you go against a rival greater than you, that sentiment comes back to bite you in the ass. You guys haven't been doing a great job to keep up with the new wave in the company. And when you can't quite cut it, can't keep up with the new operation on the block....
His hand waves around the site, the old eatery sign getting crushed underneath machinery treads is a nice, visceral way to drive Tony's point home.
Yeah, I don't think I really need to explain in anymore detail about the end results, do I?
