Post by Dylan Thomas on Sept 24, 2019 8:02:00 GMT -6
Dylan: I’m facing who?!
Lissandra: The Big Bifford. Y’know, the big fat guy? The one who right now is on a Sweeney Todd kick? Only with so called ‘chicken’ not pies. Why don’t you call up Johnny?
Dylan and Lissandra decided, after saying their goodbyes to Leonardo DiCaprio the other night at the fake Lux nightclub, to take a mini vacation to Maui, Hawaii before trudging back to Texas for Dylan’s match at the next Friday Night Inferno with GCWA legend The Big Bifford. Dylan’s trademark smirk is not plastered on his face this time. Instead, there is concern -genuine concern. Dylan is laid on a pristine white beach overlooking the ocean inside a hammock with a Sex On The Beach cocktail inside a coconut. He’s wearing black swim shorts and his trademark shades. He looks over at Lissandra who is laid on a towel next to the hammock and has the same drink and is dressed in her white bikini. Again, she looks sexy as Hell.
Dylan: ….And ask what, exactly? ‘How did he cut the Judge’s throat exactly’?
Dylan shakes his head slowly out of sheer disbelief.
Dylan: I can’t believe that they have me facing Bifford. How the Hell am I going to be able to beat that man mountain?! He could eat me alive! Especially now he’s a cannibal!
Lissandra: My big strong white knight isn’t scared?
Dylan: Please, Lissie… it’s sheer logistics. I’m 225lbs...Bifford is like 1000lbs and growing if what Dave says about him is true.
Lissandra: You listen to me. On Friday, you’re going to walk into Friday Night Inferno, you’re going to stare that big fat ass in the eye, you’re going to slap him around the face and you’re going to win your match with Bifford. He is your first test of the GCWA main event scene where you damn well belong anyway. You know you’re a main event player babe and Friday is your chance to damn well prove it.
Lissandra stands up, smiling. She walks over to Dylan and sits on the hammock with him, caressing his fringe. This always puts Dylan at ease. After a while, Dylan grabs Lissandra and pulls her down so that she is laying in the hammock with him and kisses her.
Dylan: You are amazing.
The Thomas’s kiss again and Lissandra makes herself more comfortable in the hammock and places her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It’s going ten to the dozen. Lissandra smiles when she notices that Dylan’s drink is empty. She sits up.
Lissandra: Another drink, baby?
Dylan nods and sits himself up in the hammock hanging his legs over the side. He looks out at the ocean, still wondering just how he’s going to lift a guy like Bifford, let alone beat him 1...2...3 in the middle of the ring on Friday.
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It’s been a few hours since the Thomas’s were sat on a beach and they decide to get changed and sample the local Maui nightlife. At their hotel room, they swap into their evening attire and naturally Dylan looks dressed to the nines. He opts for the classic slate grey and navy combo. He looks awesome – aside from the busted lip from Duce Jones that still hasn’t healed 100%.
Dylan looks in the mirror, combing his hair as he shouts through to Lissandra who is still in the bathroom, getting ready.
Dylan: Lissie?!
Lissandra: Yeah?
Dylan: Have you spoken to Dave, about the waiter incident?
Lissandra comes through from the bathroom still putting her hair up. She nods her head as she still fiddles around with her hair, kissing Dylan just before using the mirror herself.
Lissandra: Mm, actually I have. As I said, Dave knows what he’s doing – all water under the bridge sweetie.
A look of relief washes over Dylan and he relaxes ever so slightly. Tonight was going to be a great evening. Dylan stops combing his hair, picks up his North American title and puts it over his shoulder. He winks at Lissandra and the two hit the town.
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It’s 9pm in the evening by this point and knowing that Woody Harrelson lives out in Maui, Lissandra decides to give Mr. Harrelson a call.
Lissandra: Woody, darling! Lissie Thomas. I’m well – very well. Listen, Woody, we’re out in Maui. Yes! I know! It’s been too long – are you free to meet?
Lissandra listens to the voice on the other end of the phone but looks disappointed realising that right now is not a good time for Mr. Harrelson.
Lissandra: Oh. Oh don’t worry then. No we’ll meet another time. Yes I know. OK...OK bye. Kisses!
Lissandra hears Woody Harrelson hang up and Lissandra puts her phone back into her bag taking her husband’s arm.
Dylan: Not free?
Lissandra: Nope. Getting things ready for Venom 2. They’re not filming yet but still negotiations to sort out.
Dylan nods as they walk down the boulevard by the ocean. Suddenly a man comes up to them, Dylan recognises the guy.
Dylan: Hey! It’s Shaymus right? The guy outside Johnny Depp’s Viper Room a few weeks ago.
The man rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
Man: Dylan, it’s Shaun.
Dylan: Right, right Shaun…
Shaun: So… any chance of a few words this time? I mean, you are the GCWA North American Champion now – and in your second match no less! I mean that’s impressive!
Dylan: Well I am out with Lissandra having a good time tonight.
Lissandra looks at Shaun less than impressed. She nods her head, knowingly.
Lissandra: I...remember you. The parasite…
Shaun looks like he’s about to object but Lissandra abruptly cuts him off. She wags a finger in Shaun’s face with an accusing tone to her voice. Dylan, smiling, folds his arms watching the fun.
Lissandra: Yeah… so here you are again trying to get a word with GCWA’s hottest new commodity and we’re meant to believe that this…
Lissandra points him up and down looking disgusted.
Lissandra: … is a mere coincidence? You just happen to be out in Maui when we are?
Shaun fumbles some words and Lissandra suddenly begins to laugh. Dylan also laughs and Shaun looks on, bewildered.
Dylan: Kid… she’s messing with you.
Lissandra nods and smiles broadly.
Lissandra: Actually I knew you were coming. Your boss rang me and asked if you were able to do an interview since you already met us. Luckily for you, I was in a good mood and agreed – and more importantly, our fee has already been paid.
Shaun: Fee?
Lissandra: Well you didn’t expect us to give you a free interview did you, small fry? Even Conan had to pay us.
Lissandra smirks and Shaun nods weakly. He’s not impressed by these two Hollywood types being absolute dicks but he needs the job. Shaun gets his interview kit ready and there all three of them are, having an interview on Maui Beach Boulevard.
Shaun: OK… first thing’s first: Congratulations on becoming the first ever GCWA North American Champion.
Dylan and Lissandra both smirk and nod their heads.
Shaun: How did it feel?
Dylan: It felt good. Obviously this is not my first championship win in my career but it’s the only one that matters at this very moment in time. You see, I told Duce Jones – sorry ‘Bathroom Break’ -
Dylan winks at Lissandra who smiles broadly.
Dylan: ….That I was going to walk into Inferno last week and become the first ever GCWA North American Champion! I said, that when I set my mind on something, I do it. And I proved that, last week.
Dylan proudly hoists the championship so that it is more comfortable on his shoulder.
Shaun: Some people claim that you won that title under unscrupulous means. What do you say to those people?
Dylan: ‘Screw you’. I have never won a title with underhanded tactics – I am a man of integrity – a role model to all the little kids out there.
Shaun: What about when your wife grabbed Duce’s foot in order to prevent him from moving?
Lissandra acts shocked and anger grows inside.
Lissandra: I did no such thing. His shoe lace was untied and I was helping him do it back up again.
Dylan: See? My darling wife is a humanitarian. Anything else?
Shaun: What about when you hit Duce, knocking him out for the three? He found a piece of metal outside the ring. Was that your doing?
Dylan: OK… In wrestling arenas – particularly those in Texas – there’s trash everywhere alright? I can’t help it if Duce puts two and two together and comes up with five. I simply hit him. I have a very hard right punch. Wanna see?
Dylan rears up for a punch, laughing as Shaun cowers in fear. Dylan patronisingly ruffles Shaun’s hair and Shaun clears his throat.
Shaun: Finally… ahem … Finally you have GCWA legend The Big Bifford this Friday night. Do you have any words?
Dylan smirks and gets in very close to Shaun, beckoning him over. Shaun complies, begrudgingly and Dylan puts his arm around him. Dylan starts talking like he’s talking to Bifford directly but Shaun doesn’t have a camera. This doesn’t phase Dylan at all.
Dylan: Bifford. You don’t know me, but I know you. I was watching OCW when you were on the roster there and I thought to myself… how in the blue Hell did you become a legend of the business?! Seems to me like they let anyone into the Hall of Fame these days.
Dylan briefly pauses before continuing.
Dylan: At this Friday Night Inferno… my title is not on the line – which is probably a good job because you would probably eat it or at the very least serve it up as part of your cannibalistic chicken range that you’ve got going as a side project at the moment. What exactly happened to that asshole Chaz Moorehead anyway? Oh sorry… did I spoil things?
Dylan smirks and folds his arms.
Dylan: Bifford, honestly I’m not sure how I’m going to lift you up in our match for the Perfect Finisher. I guess you’re going to have to tap to the Hollywood Cloverleaf. All I know is, Perfection, unlike your chicken...is going to reign supreme on Friday Night. I’m two and Oh friend. And the train of Perfection isn’t gonna stop just because you’re my biggest match to date. Physically or otherwise. I’ll see you at the show.
Shaun begins to nod.
Dylan: You get all that?
Shaun: Yes, I did.
Lissandra: Good. Now get the Hell out of here and leave us in peace.
Shaun makes a hasty exit and the Thomas’s go back to having a night on the town.
Dylan is seemingly ready for Friday Night Inferno after all. Is it all bravado? We shall find out soon. We’ll see everyone there at GCWA Friday Night Inferno!
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Word Count 1,815
Lissandra: The Big Bifford. Y’know, the big fat guy? The one who right now is on a Sweeney Todd kick? Only with so called ‘chicken’ not pies. Why don’t you call up Johnny?
Dylan and Lissandra decided, after saying their goodbyes to Leonardo DiCaprio the other night at the fake Lux nightclub, to take a mini vacation to Maui, Hawaii before trudging back to Texas for Dylan’s match at the next Friday Night Inferno with GCWA legend The Big Bifford. Dylan’s trademark smirk is not plastered on his face this time. Instead, there is concern -genuine concern. Dylan is laid on a pristine white beach overlooking the ocean inside a hammock with a Sex On The Beach cocktail inside a coconut. He’s wearing black swim shorts and his trademark shades. He looks over at Lissandra who is laid on a towel next to the hammock and has the same drink and is dressed in her white bikini. Again, she looks sexy as Hell.
Dylan: ….And ask what, exactly? ‘How did he cut the Judge’s throat exactly’?
Dylan shakes his head slowly out of sheer disbelief.
Dylan: I can’t believe that they have me facing Bifford. How the Hell am I going to be able to beat that man mountain?! He could eat me alive! Especially now he’s a cannibal!
Lissandra: My big strong white knight isn’t scared?
Dylan: Please, Lissie… it’s sheer logistics. I’m 225lbs...Bifford is like 1000lbs and growing if what Dave says about him is true.
Lissandra: You listen to me. On Friday, you’re going to walk into Friday Night Inferno, you’re going to stare that big fat ass in the eye, you’re going to slap him around the face and you’re going to win your match with Bifford. He is your first test of the GCWA main event scene where you damn well belong anyway. You know you’re a main event player babe and Friday is your chance to damn well prove it.
Lissandra stands up, smiling. She walks over to Dylan and sits on the hammock with him, caressing his fringe. This always puts Dylan at ease. After a while, Dylan grabs Lissandra and pulls her down so that she is laying in the hammock with him and kisses her.
Dylan: You are amazing.
The Thomas’s kiss again and Lissandra makes herself more comfortable in the hammock and places her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It’s going ten to the dozen. Lissandra smiles when she notices that Dylan’s drink is empty. She sits up.
Lissandra: Another drink, baby?
Dylan nods and sits himself up in the hammock hanging his legs over the side. He looks out at the ocean, still wondering just how he’s going to lift a guy like Bifford, let alone beat him 1...2...3 in the middle of the ring on Friday.
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It’s been a few hours since the Thomas’s were sat on a beach and they decide to get changed and sample the local Maui nightlife. At their hotel room, they swap into their evening attire and naturally Dylan looks dressed to the nines. He opts for the classic slate grey and navy combo. He looks awesome – aside from the busted lip from Duce Jones that still hasn’t healed 100%.
Dylan looks in the mirror, combing his hair as he shouts through to Lissandra who is still in the bathroom, getting ready.
Dylan: Lissie?!
Lissandra: Yeah?
Dylan: Have you spoken to Dave, about the waiter incident?
Lissandra comes through from the bathroom still putting her hair up. She nods her head as she still fiddles around with her hair, kissing Dylan just before using the mirror herself.
Lissandra: Mm, actually I have. As I said, Dave knows what he’s doing – all water under the bridge sweetie.
A look of relief washes over Dylan and he relaxes ever so slightly. Tonight was going to be a great evening. Dylan stops combing his hair, picks up his North American title and puts it over his shoulder. He winks at Lissandra and the two hit the town.
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It’s 9pm in the evening by this point and knowing that Woody Harrelson lives out in Maui, Lissandra decides to give Mr. Harrelson a call.
Lissandra: Woody, darling! Lissie Thomas. I’m well – very well. Listen, Woody, we’re out in Maui. Yes! I know! It’s been too long – are you free to meet?
Lissandra listens to the voice on the other end of the phone but looks disappointed realising that right now is not a good time for Mr. Harrelson.
Lissandra: Oh. Oh don’t worry then. No we’ll meet another time. Yes I know. OK...OK bye. Kisses!
Lissandra hears Woody Harrelson hang up and Lissandra puts her phone back into her bag taking her husband’s arm.
Dylan: Not free?
Lissandra: Nope. Getting things ready for Venom 2. They’re not filming yet but still negotiations to sort out.
Dylan nods as they walk down the boulevard by the ocean. Suddenly a man comes up to them, Dylan recognises the guy.
Dylan: Hey! It’s Shaymus right? The guy outside Johnny Depp’s Viper Room a few weeks ago.
The man rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
Man: Dylan, it’s Shaun.
Dylan: Right, right Shaun…
Shaun: So… any chance of a few words this time? I mean, you are the GCWA North American Champion now – and in your second match no less! I mean that’s impressive!
Dylan: Well I am out with Lissandra having a good time tonight.
Lissandra looks at Shaun less than impressed. She nods her head, knowingly.
Lissandra: I...remember you. The parasite…
Shaun looks like he’s about to object but Lissandra abruptly cuts him off. She wags a finger in Shaun’s face with an accusing tone to her voice. Dylan, smiling, folds his arms watching the fun.
Lissandra: Yeah… so here you are again trying to get a word with GCWA’s hottest new commodity and we’re meant to believe that this…
Lissandra points him up and down looking disgusted.
Lissandra: … is a mere coincidence? You just happen to be out in Maui when we are?
Shaun fumbles some words and Lissandra suddenly begins to laugh. Dylan also laughs and Shaun looks on, bewildered.
Dylan: Kid… she’s messing with you.
Lissandra nods and smiles broadly.
Lissandra: Actually I knew you were coming. Your boss rang me and asked if you were able to do an interview since you already met us. Luckily for you, I was in a good mood and agreed – and more importantly, our fee has already been paid.
Shaun: Fee?
Lissandra: Well you didn’t expect us to give you a free interview did you, small fry? Even Conan had to pay us.
Lissandra smirks and Shaun nods weakly. He’s not impressed by these two Hollywood types being absolute dicks but he needs the job. Shaun gets his interview kit ready and there all three of them are, having an interview on Maui Beach Boulevard.
Shaun: OK… first thing’s first: Congratulations on becoming the first ever GCWA North American Champion.
Dylan and Lissandra both smirk and nod their heads.
Shaun: How did it feel?
Dylan: It felt good. Obviously this is not my first championship win in my career but it’s the only one that matters at this very moment in time. You see, I told Duce Jones – sorry ‘Bathroom Break’ -
Dylan winks at Lissandra who smiles broadly.
Dylan: ….That I was going to walk into Inferno last week and become the first ever GCWA North American Champion! I said, that when I set my mind on something, I do it. And I proved that, last week.
Dylan proudly hoists the championship so that it is more comfortable on his shoulder.
Shaun: Some people claim that you won that title under unscrupulous means. What do you say to those people?
Dylan: ‘Screw you’. I have never won a title with underhanded tactics – I am a man of integrity – a role model to all the little kids out there.
Shaun: What about when your wife grabbed Duce’s foot in order to prevent him from moving?
Lissandra acts shocked and anger grows inside.
Lissandra: I did no such thing. His shoe lace was untied and I was helping him do it back up again.
Dylan: See? My darling wife is a humanitarian. Anything else?
Shaun: What about when you hit Duce, knocking him out for the three? He found a piece of metal outside the ring. Was that your doing?
Dylan: OK… In wrestling arenas – particularly those in Texas – there’s trash everywhere alright? I can’t help it if Duce puts two and two together and comes up with five. I simply hit him. I have a very hard right punch. Wanna see?
Dylan rears up for a punch, laughing as Shaun cowers in fear. Dylan patronisingly ruffles Shaun’s hair and Shaun clears his throat.
Shaun: Finally… ahem … Finally you have GCWA legend The Big Bifford this Friday night. Do you have any words?
Dylan smirks and gets in very close to Shaun, beckoning him over. Shaun complies, begrudgingly and Dylan puts his arm around him. Dylan starts talking like he’s talking to Bifford directly but Shaun doesn’t have a camera. This doesn’t phase Dylan at all.
Dylan: Bifford. You don’t know me, but I know you. I was watching OCW when you were on the roster there and I thought to myself… how in the blue Hell did you become a legend of the business?! Seems to me like they let anyone into the Hall of Fame these days.
Dylan briefly pauses before continuing.
Dylan: At this Friday Night Inferno… my title is not on the line – which is probably a good job because you would probably eat it or at the very least serve it up as part of your cannibalistic chicken range that you’ve got going as a side project at the moment. What exactly happened to that asshole Chaz Moorehead anyway? Oh sorry… did I spoil things?
Dylan smirks and folds his arms.
Dylan: Bifford, honestly I’m not sure how I’m going to lift you up in our match for the Perfect Finisher. I guess you’re going to have to tap to the Hollywood Cloverleaf. All I know is, Perfection, unlike your chicken...is going to reign supreme on Friday Night. I’m two and Oh friend. And the train of Perfection isn’t gonna stop just because you’re my biggest match to date. Physically or otherwise. I’ll see you at the show.
Shaun begins to nod.
Dylan: You get all that?
Shaun: Yes, I did.
Lissandra: Good. Now get the Hell out of here and leave us in peace.
Shaun makes a hasty exit and the Thomas’s go back to having a night on the town.
Dylan is seemingly ready for Friday Night Inferno after all. Is it all bravado? We shall find out soon. We’ll see everyone there at GCWA Friday Night Inferno!
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Word Count 1,815
