Post by SportsEntertainmentXpress on Sept 12, 2020 15:02:22 GMT -6
Stardate: 20200911
The beautiful landscape, the soft white sand, the warm weather, the lack of crowds, just some of the reasons Hilton Head Island is one of the best vacation spots in the world. Way better than Myrtle Beach, unless you just like neon lights and being a redneck, no judgment here.
"Ah, Terry, this was an amazing idea. We both needed a vacation", Heather Marshall says as she lays in the shade under a beach umbrella while drinking an umbrella drink. "You aren't kidding babe, my old bones needed some rest", Marshall replies from a few feet in front of her as he is laying in the sun working on his killer tan.
"How about tonight we go to a nice dinner, just the two of us", Heather says in a tone that indicates dinner isn't all she is wanting tonight. Marshall opens his eyes in a squint and looks up at his wife, "baby, that sounds perfect" Marshall says with a smile. The husband and wife lock eyes and share a smile as well as a moment of joy, but it is short lived.
"OOOOWWWWWW!!!" Major Helmet screams from the water in front of the Marshall's. "Oh Lord, what now?" Heather says, as Terry sits up quickly looking to the water for his little buddy. What Terry Marshall sees is both amusing and alarming.
Like a scene from Baywatch, Space Lord is carrying Major Helmet out of the water. Even on vacation Space Lord has his face painted, but went aquatic theme with some aqua blue and sea foam gren. Space Lords speedo is even smaller than his normal trunks, which makes everyone nervous. Helmet is also dressed in a skimpy speedo, which just makes everyone sad. But hey, he's been feeling himself since the War Games match and his rap solo, go on with ya bad self Helmet.
Oh yeah, he's also wearing his helmet, uh, duh doy.
Marshall, the rest of the Desolator crew, and the Cosmic Cowboy, who is also wearing a speedo (what's up with all the speedos?) rush to check on Helmet as Space Lord gently lays him on the soft sand of the beach. "What happened brother?", Marshall frantically asks.
“JELLY FISH!” Helmet moans in agony. “Quick, someone get some peanut butter.” Space Lord replies. “Uh, un. Don’t think that is what ya need brother”, the Cosmic Cowboy says. “You…need to…pee…on it”, First Mate Kirk says.
Helmet stops screaming, and looks up at the crowd of people around him. Likewise, Marshall, The Cowboy, Space Lord, and the rest of the crew are all looking at each other, wondering who, if anyone was going to pee on Helmet. “I’ll do it, it is a captain’s responsibility to take care of his crew” Space Lord says, as he steps forward and begins to pull his speedo down.
“STOP!” Heather screams, and then pushes her way through the crowd. “Put that thing away” she says to Space Lord, as she twists the cap off a bottle of vinegar and pours it on the sting on Helmets leg.
“AHHH”, Helmet sighs as the vinegar provides relief, and also the relief from knowing he wont be getting urinated on. Everyone in the group looks at Heather in shock. She rolls her eyes and says, “Peeing on a jellyfish sting is a myth. The sodium in urine, coupled with the velocity of the urine stream could move the stingers around in the injury. This could trigger the stingers to release even more venom.”.
“Are you a scientist?”, The Cosmic Cowboy asks.
“No, I’m just not an idiot who believes everything they see on TV.” She responds with sass, as she walks back to her beach chair.
“I like her style” Bug Girl says.
Several hours later Terry Marshall is starring at his beautiful wife whose face is illuminated by the candles that sit on their table. Heather takes a sip of her wine, and asks, “what are you starring at?”. Terry smiles and says, “the most beautiful woman in the world”.
Heather smiles and places her hand on Terry’s. Terry turns his hand over and the two embrace by holding hands. Terry and Heather both begin to lean across the table at the same time, going for a kiss. It is truly a romantic scene, more romantic than the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti kiss scene.
“TEEEEERRRRRRYYYYY!!!”, the sound of Space Lord screaming stops both Terry and Heather, right before their lips locked.
“Oh, my god” Heather says as she sits back down in her seat. Marshall grumbles and says, “this better be important”, as he sits and his seat and looks over at Space Lord.
“Sir, you cannot be in here dressed like that” the waitress says to Space Lord. Space Lord looks down at his speedo, and boots with fringe and back up at the waitress, and then just ignores her and looks at Terry Marshall. Space Lord says in a booming voice, “Terry, we have been granted a match for our return.”.
Terry rubs his forehead, showing he is clearly annoyed as he says, “and why couldn’t this news wait until tomorrow morning?”.
Space Lord leans forward, putting his palms on the table and getting very close to Terry’s face. “It is against Raven and Hart”. Marshall says nothing, and slowly stands to his feet. Space Lord also stands up straight. For a moment the two men stand in silence and stare at one another. Finally, Terry Marshall breaks the silence as he says “brother, it’s time to show the world how great S.E.X is”.
Terry Marshall and Space Lord embrace in the super sweet and totally bad ass bro high five from the Predator movie, that shows off their massive biceps. In the background Heather is seen looking annoyed as she takes a sip of her wine and mumbles, “guess who won’t be seeing how great sex can be tonight?”.
Stardate: 20200912
“Ah, yes”, Space Lord says nodding his head in agreement. Space Lord and Marshall then both turn and reveal that behind them is a man butchering up his daily catch of seafood. On a large butcher block, he has a few Sea Bass he is filleting up. Space Lord and Marshall look at each other and then at the camera and in unison say, “IT’S MONOLOGUE TIME!”.
Monologue:
Well, I hate to interrupt you brother, but we don’t know yet if the titles will be on the line or not. Johnny Boy Barrows is leaving that up to the chumps, I mean the champs. So, we will see if Raven and Hart are willing to put their money where their mouth is and put those titles on the line. So, let me ask you right here, and right now, in front of everyone watching this around the world, do you have the guts? Do you James Raven, and do you Jackson Hart, have the guts to put the tag team titles on the line against the Sports Entertainment Xpress?
I don’t know if you do or not, but we along with all the Sexamaniacs around the globe will be awaiting your answer. If you want to call yourselves the best, if you truly want to be the best, then you will put yourselves to the test. And, we all know if it isn’t all on the line then it isn’t much of a test. What’s the ACT’s or the SAT’s without needing to get into a good school? What’s Master Chef without the chances of being yelled at by Gordon Ramsey? They are nothing worth doing, and if you face us without putting those titles on the line it’s not worth either of ours time.
There is an old saying that we all die, but not everyone truly lives. Do you Raven, do you Hart, do you truly want to live? If you do, and if you truly want to prove yourselves then put those tag team titles on the line. Just to forewarn you though, sometimes when you risk it all, you end up losing it all, and brothers that is exactly what I plan on ensuring, that you two man-children lose that tag team titles at Inferno.
“AAHHHH!!!” Space Lord screams, and then turns around the grabs a hand full of raw shrimp from the butchers block. “HEY!” The butcher screams, but Space Lord pays no attention to him and shoves the shrimp, which haven’t been deshelled, deheaded or deveined into his mouth.
Brother, that is disgusting. What are you doing?
Good protein.
Brother, you’ve got to cook that stuff.
Ever heard of sushi?
Terry Marshall stares at Space Lord with a blank expression. Space Lord swallows his mouth full of shrimp and then steps forward to spit some hot promo fire.
The power of Space Lord is a curious thing. Make Raven weep, make Hart go to sleep.James Raven, is a sleezy creep, I will make Jackson Hart go to sleep. More than a feeling, that is the power of Space Lord, the power of the Sports Entertainment Xpress, the power of Sexamania. Tougher than diamonds, big bang make you scream. Stronger and harder than any force in your wildest dreams. The power of the Sports Entertainment Xpress will keep you up at night, FOR WE ARE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!
You hear my voice, and you hear that sound. Like thunder that sound shakes the ground. That sound is the sound of all the Sexamaniacs cheering us on. You may try to hold us down, but they lift us up. Get ready to give those titles up, because Space Lord and Terry Marshall have had enough. I see it all, I see it now. I see it with my eyes like a tiger.
We’ve got the eye of the tiger, we are fighters. We were forged in the fire, and after Inferno we will be champions, and you're gonna hear us roar. Louder, louder than a lion. Cause we will be the NEW champions, and you're gonna fell us BANG!
BAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAANNNNGG
BAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAANNNNGG
You will hear us…RRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!
Space Lord begins beating his chest like a silver back guerilla and then runs down the dock and dives head first into the water. Marshall looks at him with confusion, even Terry Marshall is still baffled by Space Lord from time to time.
Raven and Hart, I’ll be straight up with ya brothers, I don’t like your filth and your foul. Between your group, known as the sick cee u next Tuesday’s, and our world champion who cusses like a sailor, I’m surprised the GCWA hasn’t been banned from TV. But brothers, while I may not like your actions, I do respect your abilities. You guys are both undefeated in the GCWA, my only loss is to the world champion, and I only had one arm when she beat me. Space Lord, well his only loss is to me. So, I think it is safe to say that we are the two best teams in the GCWA. Heck brothers, we might be the two best teams in all of professional wrestling.
I may not like you, but I respect you. As for you two respecting myself and Space Lord, I don’t know if you two even know what respect is, but at the end of the night at Inferno you two will know what respect is, because the Sports Entertainment Xpress is going to beat respect into you.
So, the question remains, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do Raven? What are you gonna do Hart? Are you gonna put those tag team titles on the line? Are you going to sign on the dotted line for the biggest tag team match in the history of the GCWA? Are you gonna make sure we sell that merch table out? But most of all what are you two gonna do when the Sports Entertainment Xpress, and all the Sexamaniacs run wild on you?
Marshall hits a front double bicep pose, because ya know, Marshall must pose. He looks extra jacked with his tan and his new speedo by the way.
~Fin