A lawyer, an old man, and the devil walk into a bar.
Nov 17, 2020 23:16:33 GMT -6
Deana Barrows likes this
Post by E.W Montgomery on Nov 17, 2020 23:16:33 GMT -6
November 13th.
Backstage after Friday Night Inferno.
A man yells out.
“Shit! What are you doing Wrigley?
You’ve got to get the water directly into my eyes, dammit!”
We fade in, the massive E.W Montgomery is on his knees while rubbing his eyes trying to find some sort of balance. Water pours from the top of his head which mixes with the open cut above the brow courtesy of Outcast’s Unified X-Division title shot from earlier that evening. E.W does his best to wipe it away from his eyes, but he’s still feeling the effects of the pepper spray. All of this has mixed together to create a sort of pinkish snot that is dripping from his face onto the concrete floor of the locker room.
Above E.W is Christopher J. Wrigley, last seen attempting to get back with E.W on the last episode of “As the Earl Turns.” Wrigley has a giant bottle of water and is periodically pouring it down on top of E.W’s head hoping to be of some help. It doesn’t seem to be working as E.W continues to wipe at his eyes hoping to clear his vision. Not that his vision was that good to begin with, but right now he’s seemingly mostly blind.
“I’m going to kill him! There will be no mercy given, there will be no one to stop me from tearing you limb from limb until there is nothing left! They will find less of you than the scraps off of my plate. If I have to have Wrigley scream out directions to find you… just to get my hands on you, I will!”
The crazed Arkansas native continues to scramble around looking for something to latch onto, Wrigley goes to find a towel or something as E.W pulls himself back up to his feet slowly and obviously with no help from his eyes.
“...and when I find out who let that crazed fan into the building tonight, I’m going to do the exact same thing to him too! Mark my damn words, blood’s gonna be spilled!”
Wrigley cocks his head in a curious manner, a little confused by what Razorback is yelling about. In fact, Wrigley drops the towel in his hands as he contemplates what E.W just said.
WRIGLEY: “Wait... who do you think attacked you tonight?”
Stumbling around the locker room, E.W bumps into the wall of lockers on the side and slams his massive paw into one.
“A damn crazed fan! Did you hear them? They were all pissed off because I broke poor little Mikey Zybala in front of their faces and one of them took matters into their own hands. That’s how I got attacked tonight, Wrigley!”
Wrigley scratches his head in confusion.
WRIGLEY: “I really wish that was true, Earl. I really do wish... could imagine the lawsuit I’d be able to drop on that fan? On GCWA? Man, we’d be swimming in cash with the big titted ladies for the next thirty years! Hell, I’d be so damn rich that I could finally retire.”
Wrigley chuckles at that one for a bit, his grin goes from one ear to the other ear with his perfect white teeth showing. However, just as soon as E.W turns around with his own look of confusion that’s when the smile fades from Wrigley’s face.
WRIGLEY: “Alright, you’re right. But that wasn’t a fan that attacked you tonight, Earl. That was the Outcast. Just Outcast, maybe? Either way, it was that guy who jumped the barricade and attacked you, and sure enough after he blinded you with that pepper spray he finished it all off with that Unified X-Division title across your skull!
Left one hell of a dent too.
You know, you might want to get that looked at.”
Wrigley bends down and scoops up the towel he dropped earlier to and tosses it into the face of E.W. Earl takes all the information that Wrigley just dumped onto him and does his best to put the pieces together as he wipes the water, blood and spray off one more time.
“So... it was Outcast that did this!?”
Wrigley nods.
“Motherfucker is going to pay. You know they don’t know about me here yet, all they think is that I’m some sort of Winnie the Pooh Bear out here looking for some fucking honey. That shit’s all coming to an end, blindside me? Where’s his locker room at? Title or no title, I’m going to gouge out his eyes and skullfu--”
Wrigley taps the big man on the chest shushing him up in the process. As E.W finally stands up his massive frame towers over that of Wrigley. Wrigley tries to restrain him with both hands but there is little chance of him ever stopping a rampaging Montgomery.
WRIGLEY: “Wait there just a minute big man, hear me out. Now you could go over there right now, right now in fact, to where Outcast is probably celebrating the fact that he sprayed you in the face with pepper spray and then clocked you in the head with his title belt in his locker room right down the hallway. You could go in there and in straight up one on one fight you could tear his damn arms from their sockets. You could twirl those arms around you just ripped off of him like a crazed goat hopped up on LSD, there’s no doubt in my mind you could do that and show the GCWA wrestlers just how bad of a motherfucker you really are.
Or... or, my brother.
You could wait.
You could wait until Darkness Falls and right there in the dead center of that ring you could do the exact same thing, twirl them arms around like a psychopath with blood squirting all about the damn place, but only now… instead of just the GCWA wrestlers knowing you’re the baddest man in the locker room, now the entire audience and those that are going to pay their fifty bucks to watch it on PPV are going to all know what you’re capable of. You ain’t no Pooh-Bear, because I sure as hell ain’t no Piglet! You are Earl Wayne Montgomery. Former All-American Arkansas Razorback, former multi-time world wrestling champion and the only son of a bitch I have ever seen pull barbed-wire out of his bloody nose and mouth at the same damn time to use it on his opponent’s nose and mouth a second later.
Darkness Falls, you get to show the whole world what a pissed off man like yourself can do. And that shit will go viral, my brother.”
The big man has calmed down and continues to listen to the words flowing from Wrigley’s mouth. Wrigley only pauses because he needs to catch his breath after fighting against the slow charge of a three hundred pound man. Wrigley shoves his glasses back up to the top of his nose as a huge smile appears on his face as his eyes lock onto the eyes, well at least one of the eyes of E.W Montgomery.
WRIGLEY: “And that’s not even the best part, Earl. You want to know what the best part is? Have a seat and I'll tell you.”
E.W reluctantly sits down on one of the benches catching his own breath. Wrigley is now almost eye to eye with the big man. Wrigley even has the guts to subtly smack E.W on the cheek as he grabs him by the face.
WRIGLEY: “The best part is that even on top of all that carnage and destruction you get to cause, we can still get your hands on one of two titles. I mean, you can still get your hands on one of two titles. It’s your choice, the Television Championship or the Unified X-Division Championship which one do you want? It’s like one of those all you can eat buffets, things just keep getting better and better as you move on down the line!
And just as soon as you think that nothing could top that all off, you also get the dessert of your choosing! You can hurt Outcast so bad that he can’t possibly retain or win another one of the titles, you can make sure that he’s the sucker that walks out of Darkness Falls with nothing. How awesome is that?
But I’m telling you, Earl. If you get up off of that bench and go over there right now and put a hurting on Outcast… well, he might not make it to Darkness Falls. And if Outcast doesn’t make it to Darkness Falls then you won’t get all of the choices at the Golden Corral.
So, I’m going to let you stand up now. I’m going to get going and leave you here, it’s your choice.”
Wrigley lets go of E.W and backs off. Earl doesn’t immediately get up off of the bench, he still looks like he’s seething but isn’t taking action at this moment. Wrigley continues to back away slowly as the huge Razorback looks up at him with those crossed eyes of his.
“Wrigley, I’m ready to charge right past you right now. But dammit. You’re right.
Tonight is Outcast’s night, he won tonight. I’m going to pack my gear and head on back to the hotel and get some rest. You’re absolutely right. That’s the best thing I could possibly do right now. Then, come Darkness Falls all hell is going to break loose.
When the hell did I hire you exactly?”
Wrigley shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders, he doesn’t offer a single response towards E.W before he dips out of the locker room. E.W is now all alone sitting there on the locker room bench, he wipes the towel across his head once again and checks out just how much blood is leaking from that cut above his brow still. As he wraps the towel around his neck he relaxes for the first time here, taking a long deep breath which causes him to go into a sudden coughing fit. Holding the back of his hand up to his mouth, E.W just unloads on a series of coughs and wipes the somewhat reddish mucus onto the towel around his neck.
Leaning back trying to capture as much fresh air into his lungs as possible, E.W is a bit surprised as a pair of female hands emerge from the darkness of the locker room. They rub through the greasy sweaty hair of E.W before resting on the towel.
VOICE: “Sure, you could listen to him or you could listen to what I have in mind. Earl, are you ready to hear what I think you should do?”
The woman’s voice giggles a little bit as we fade to black.