Finding Helmet Part 2, The Letter M
Nov 19, 2020 11:35:09 GMT -6
Deana Barrows, Dylan Thomas, and 1 more like this
Post by SportsEntertainmentXpress on Nov 19, 2020 11:35:09 GMT -6
The NWO and the Warf Pack charge at each other in an epic battle scene that looks like something from Avengers End Game, only way more muscle-bound, and not quite as leather-clad. The first blow of the battle is struck as Dark Lord headbutts Warf, but Warf’s spiked forehead protects him and tears at the flesh of Dark Lord. Dark Lord staggers back holding his head as Warf charges. Dark Lord sees the Klingon coming and steps forward, the two men lock hands in a test of strength that uproots the ground beneath their feet.
Masher and Strangler begin battling the other privates and are quickly out numbers. Strangler tries to grab Pizza, but can’t find a neck on the giant Hut Pizza to strangle. Masher is grabbed by the leg by Spot, and as Masher tries to shove him off Bug Girl grabs him in a titty twister, which only brings a giant smile to Masher's face.
Bug Girl releases her hold and follows up with a kick to the most likely already mangled crotch of Masher, which wipes the smile from Masher's face. The former first mate and now private Kirk tries to slink away from the fight since he is almost 90 but backs right into Terry Marshall. A look of dread comes across Kirk's face, and Kirk slowly turns to see Marshall giving an evil grin. Marshall grabs Kirk by the shirt collar with his left hand and with his mouth pulls the lid off of a sharpie in his right hand.
Marshall spits the lid of the sharpie out and begins drawing on the face of Kirk. After some quick strokes of the hand, Marshall releases Kirk, and Kirk sinks to the ground as if being shot. There on Kirks face we see the damage of the sharpie, a perfectly drawn portrait of Patrick Stewart.
OOOH, THE HUMANITY!
The sergeants, majors, and first mates have squared off in the battle, and things aren’t looking great for the NWO. Slaughter has Snake in a camel clutch, breaking his back and making him humble as if he was a sheik and not a Sargent. The first mates have somehow turned their battle into a game of one on one. Rodman tries to juke Mailman, but can’t shake him. Rodman goes for a fadeaway jumper and yells “KOBE” while doing it, but the long arms and jumping ability of Mailman blocks the shot.
Then the major battle. No, not the main focal point battle, but a battle of the major's Flavor and Helmet. Flavor goes for the trusty salt throw, but Helmet drops his face shield blocking it. Helmet drops his head and charges like a ram, but Flavor pulls his pepper grinder out and swings it like Ken Griffey Jr into the helmet of Helmet. The pepper grinder explodes, sending peppercorns flying into the air and into the eyes of Flavor. Helmet grabs the blinded Flavor in a headlock and begins to mess up his spiked bleached blonde hair.
Dark Lord and Warf have continued to break down, both men’s clothes are torn and tattered, and both have abrasions that drip blood. As Dark Lord's blood from his forehead trickles down into his eyes Dark Lord wipes his eyes clear.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood, NOBODY!
Dark Lord pulls his lightsaber from the inside of his leather trench coat and throws the coat to the side as the red glowing blade appears. Warf answers by pulling his Bat’leth from his back. Some awesome background music begins to play as the epic battle unfolds.
The two captains slowly circle one another and Dark Lord finally makes the first move with a slashing move, but Warf side steps and uses his Bat’leth to sweep Dark Lord's legs. Warf goes for a stabbing blow, but Dark Lord quickly rolls out of the way and back to his feet. Dark Lord and Warf circle each other once again when suddenly Terry Marshall lands a massive Thunderstruck to the back of Waf.
The blow knocks Warf to his knees and sends the bat’leth flying across the field. Marshall gives an evil laugh as Warf is on all fours and looks up at Dark Lord who stands over him ready to deliver a death blow with the lightsaber.
Look at me. I am the captain now.
Dark Lord swings the lightsaber at Warf’s head for a blow that would definitely take his quickening.
NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!
Helmet dives in front of Warf and the blow meant for Warf’s head instead strikes across the armor-plated chest of Major Helmet. The deadly lightsaber tears through the armor like a hot knife through butter. Helmet falls to the ground. Dark Lord is frozen in shock, as are Warf and Marshall. After snapping from his shock Dark Lord drops the lightsaber and then drops to his knees, cradling Helmets head and letting out a scream with a tone of pain and agony.
HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLMMMMMEEEEEEETTTT!!!
The sound of Dark Lord's mournful scream stops the fighting of the rest of the combatants. Marshall kneels beside Dark Lord and Warf comes to his knees and looks down at Helmet.
Helmet, I will dedicate our victory here today so that you may enter Sto-Vo-Kor.
Dark Lord slowly raises his head and stares at Warf with pure hatred.
You haven’t won anything, nor will you.
Dark Lord drops Helmet and quickly grabs his lightsaber and swings for Warf’s head once more, but the swing is stopped as Helmets hands come up grabbing Dark Lords. Dark Lord looks down in shock to see Helmet is still alive, and as he always has done, is protecting his leader.
This is the opening Waf needed and he pounces on Dark Lord, knocking Dark Lord to his back. Marshall begins to move in but is blocked by Slaughter and Mailman. Warf pulls a B'Etor blade from his boot and lifts it above his head ready to plunge it into Dark Lord's chest when a laser blasts the knife from his hand.
Everyone looks to the sky and sees a figure flying above with a jetpack. The armored figure slowly lowers to the ground, landing in the middle of the battleground that everyone has now turned their gaze to. The armored man has more chrome than a tricked-out Harley, a massive “M” on his chest, and wears a helmet that seems as if it would be impossible to see through.
Warf slowly crawls backward from the armor-clad jetpack flier while clutching his injured hand.
Are you a Mandalorian? I thought you all died out.
With a word the man slowly reaches for his helmet, grabbing it on either side. The helmet and slowly lifted off.
I’m M… M for Madness.
The raspy voice is familiar, but the bearded face is even more familiar, it is The Cosmic Cowboy. Well, the man formerly known as The Cosmic Cowboy. Gone is his cowboy hat, and in its place is a bandana that reads “Madness”.
Madness slowly raises the blaster and blasts Warf away. Madness looks back at Dark Lord and Marshall and nods his head. “Keep Me” begins playing through the speakers of the decimated old quidditch stadium, and every member of the NWO gets both a wicked smile on their faces and a renewed sense of power, a power level that is well over 9000.
The NWO begins devastating the Warf Pack, as without their leader the pack is disorganized and disheartened while the NWO is powered up and pumping. S&M destroy the privates with whip skills that would leave Indian Jones impressed. Snake is joined by Major Flavor and make Slaughter wish he had stayed at the G.I. Joe training facility. Rodman, well he goes 98 NBA finals on Malone, and drop him 4-2.
As the Warf Pack retreat, Dark Lord turns and looks at Major Helmet who is still clinging to life. Dark Lord kneels at Helmet's side and takes his hand.
Why couldn’t you just leave well enough alone? Why did you have to display such dedication and courage, when all I needed you to show was darkness?
Helmet tries to answer, but cannot muster the strength.
Marshall and Madness appear over either shoulder of Dark Lord with Marshall placing his hand on Dark Lord's shoulder. Dark Lord slowly stands, while still looking down at Helmet.
Come on brother, we gotta get back to Earth.
Dark Lord says nothing, and simply turns and walks away. Marshall pulls something from his pocket and hands it to Madness.
You know what to do brother.
Marshall begins walking away as Madness kneels over Helmet. Madness’s arm moves around the face of Helmet, and then he slowly stands and looks down at Helmet. Helmets face shield is pulled down and written across it in silver are the letters, N-W-O.
Static pulses and takes over the screen and then fades to a disclaimer.
Back to the black and white, back to the portrait studio with the cool music playing softly in the background. Flash a shot of Terry Marshall flexing, because even as a heel Marshall must pose.
Ya know Sinners I got a question that has been burning in my brain. It's burning hotter than the rage of Venom, it's burning hotter than James Raven’s junk after diddling Dirty Deanna. The question is this, if Dark Lord and I are old and over the hill like you say if we are two crazy dudes going through a mid-life crisis, and if we aren't really legends, then what does that make you two? Truth is you two have never beaten Dark Lord and I, and that ain't changing at Darkness Falls, JACK!
So, answer the question, what does it make you two? What will you be considered and labeled when you lose those championships in your first defense and you lose them to two old dudes going through a mid-life crisis?
Quick cut scene to Dark Lord sitting in the "thinking man" pose, and then a quick cut back to Marshall holding two stacks of money.
One thing it makes you is ignorant. You two don't know how to draw money, and by the lack of Sinners shirt I see in the crowd, it shows you don’t know how to move the merch. You don't tear your opponents down, you build them up, so that way if you win you beat somebody, and when you lose you've lost to a worthy competitor. That is promo 101, day one stuff, your daddies should have taught you that.
Cut to a picture of Punisher with a penis drawn on him in sharpie, cut back to Marshall.
Guess your dad was a dick head too.
Marshall throws the stacks of money at the camera, as the scene clears up Dark Lord stands profile starring off into the unknown.
Well, I've tried, and I've tried to get it right. I've come close, a few times too. But he lunatics run the asylum, and the animals run the zoo. We are not the wardens; we are not the zookeepers. WE ARE, the craziest people in the asylum. WE ARE, biggest beast roaming the zoo. Castaway is our brightness and fun times of our Joe Exotic. Embraced is our evilness and darkness of our Carol Baskin. Forever and always is your head the dick, you are the Jeff Lowe.
Cut to Marshall laughing hysterically.
You say we couldn't get the job done, but brother we've never been given a fair two on two match for this titles until now. You two were nipping at the heels of Legacy long before we ever were Jack. The difference isn't that you got the job done and we didn't, because we are getting the job done Sunday. The difference is that we never begged for a title match, while you two were on your hands and knees week in and week out crying about being cheated and begging for one more match. Sunday, you will get back on your knees and you will beg again, only this time it will be mercy that you beg for.
JUST KNOW JACK, that after Darkness Falls when we take those titles from you, all the begging and pleading in the world won’t get you another opportunity. Darkness Falls is it brother, it is the end of our story, the end of Sins of the Father, and the end of the shortest tag team title reign in the history of the GCWA.
Cut to Dark Lord who stands holding Helmets helmet, looking at the NWO on the faceplate.
Sinners, if I will do this to my loyal companion, what do you think I will do to you two? Helmet was like a loyal pet that had to be put down for his own good. You two are Gungans, who need to be eradicated. Like the Dinosaurs before you, you will be wiped from the face of the Earth with a… BIG BAAAAAANNNNGGGGG!!
Cut to Marshall air guitaring a lightsaber.
Sinners, after Darkness Falls you’ll be six feet deep, but the NWO will still be TOO SWEET!
~Fin
Masher and Strangler begin battling the other privates and are quickly out numbers. Strangler tries to grab Pizza, but can’t find a neck on the giant Hut Pizza to strangle. Masher is grabbed by the leg by Spot, and as Masher tries to shove him off Bug Girl grabs him in a titty twister, which only brings a giant smile to Masher's face.
Ewwww, gross.
Bug Girl releases her hold and follows up with a kick to the most likely already mangled crotch of Masher, which wipes the smile from Masher's face. The former first mate and now private Kirk tries to slink away from the fight since he is almost 90 but backs right into Terry Marshall. A look of dread comes across Kirk's face, and Kirk slowly turns to see Marshall giving an evil grin. Marshall grabs Kirk by the shirt collar with his left hand and with his mouth pulls the lid off of a sharpie in his right hand.
Marshall spits the lid of the sharpie out and begins drawing on the face of Kirk. After some quick strokes of the hand, Marshall releases Kirk, and Kirk sinks to the ground as if being shot. There on Kirks face we see the damage of the sharpie, a perfectly drawn portrait of Patrick Stewart.
OOOH, THE HUMANITY!
The sergeants, majors, and first mates have squared off in the battle, and things aren’t looking great for the NWO. Slaughter has Snake in a camel clutch, breaking his back and making him humble as if he was a sheik and not a Sargent. The first mates have somehow turned their battle into a game of one on one. Rodman tries to juke Mailman, but can’t shake him. Rodman goes for a fadeaway jumper and yells “KOBE” while doing it, but the long arms and jumping ability of Mailman blocks the shot.
Then the major battle. No, not the main focal point battle, but a battle of the major's Flavor and Helmet. Flavor goes for the trusty salt throw, but Helmet drops his face shield blocking it. Helmet drops his head and charges like a ram, but Flavor pulls his pepper grinder out and swings it like Ken Griffey Jr into the helmet of Helmet. The pepper grinder explodes, sending peppercorns flying into the air and into the eyes of Flavor. Helmet grabs the blinded Flavor in a headlock and begins to mess up his spiked bleached blonde hair.
Dark Lord and Warf have continued to break down, both men’s clothes are torn and tattered, and both have abrasions that drip blood. As Dark Lord's blood from his forehead trickles down into his eyes Dark Lord wipes his eyes clear.
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood, NOBODY!
Dark Lord pulls his lightsaber from the inside of his leather trench coat and throws the coat to the side as the red glowing blade appears. Warf answers by pulling his Bat’leth from his back. Some awesome background music begins to play as the epic battle unfolds.
The two captains slowly circle one another and Dark Lord finally makes the first move with a slashing move, but Warf side steps and uses his Bat’leth to sweep Dark Lord's legs. Warf goes for a stabbing blow, but Dark Lord quickly rolls out of the way and back to his feet. Dark Lord and Warf circle each other once again when suddenly Terry Marshall lands a massive Thunderstruck to the back of Waf.
The blow knocks Warf to his knees and sends the bat’leth flying across the field. Marshall gives an evil laugh as Warf is on all fours and looks up at Dark Lord who stands over him ready to deliver a death blow with the lightsaber.
Look at me. I am the captain now.
Dark Lord swings the lightsaber at Warf’s head for a blow that would definitely take his quickening.
NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!
Helmet dives in front of Warf and the blow meant for Warf’s head instead strikes across the armor-plated chest of Major Helmet. The deadly lightsaber tears through the armor like a hot knife through butter. Helmet falls to the ground. Dark Lord is frozen in shock, as are Warf and Marshall. After snapping from his shock Dark Lord drops the lightsaber and then drops to his knees, cradling Helmets head and letting out a scream with a tone of pain and agony.
HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLMMMMMEEEEEEETTTT!!!
The sound of Dark Lord's mournful scream stops the fighting of the rest of the combatants. Marshall kneels beside Dark Lord and Warf comes to his knees and looks down at Helmet.
Helmet, I will dedicate our victory here today so that you may enter Sto-Vo-Kor.
Dark Lord slowly raises his head and stares at Warf with pure hatred.
You haven’t won anything, nor will you.
Dark Lord drops Helmet and quickly grabs his lightsaber and swings for Warf’s head once more, but the swing is stopped as Helmets hands come up grabbing Dark Lords. Dark Lord looks down in shock to see Helmet is still alive, and as he always has done, is protecting his leader.
This is the opening Waf needed and he pounces on Dark Lord, knocking Dark Lord to his back. Marshall begins to move in but is blocked by Slaughter and Mailman. Warf pulls a B'Etor blade from his boot and lifts it above his head ready to plunge it into Dark Lord's chest when a laser blasts the knife from his hand.
Everyone looks to the sky and sees a figure flying above with a jetpack. The armored figure slowly lowers to the ground, landing in the middle of the battleground that everyone has now turned their gaze to. The armored man has more chrome than a tricked-out Harley, a massive “M” on his chest, and wears a helmet that seems as if it would be impossible to see through.
Warf slowly crawls backward from the armor-clad jetpack flier while clutching his injured hand.
Are you a Mandalorian? I thought you all died out.
With a word the man slowly reaches for his helmet, grabbing it on either side. The helmet and slowly lifted off.
I’m M… M for Madness.
The raspy voice is familiar, but the bearded face is even more familiar, it is The Cosmic Cowboy. Well, the man formerly known as The Cosmic Cowboy. Gone is his cowboy hat, and in its place is a bandana that reads “Madness”.
Madness slowly raises the blaster and blasts Warf away. Madness looks back at Dark Lord and Marshall and nods his head. “Keep Me” begins playing through the speakers of the decimated old quidditch stadium, and every member of the NWO gets both a wicked smile on their faces and a renewed sense of power, a power level that is well over 9000.
The NWO begins devastating the Warf Pack, as without their leader the pack is disorganized and disheartened while the NWO is powered up and pumping. S&M destroy the privates with whip skills that would leave Indian Jones impressed. Snake is joined by Major Flavor and make Slaughter wish he had stayed at the G.I. Joe training facility. Rodman, well he goes 98 NBA finals on Malone, and drop him 4-2.
As the Warf Pack retreat, Dark Lord turns and looks at Major Helmet who is still clinging to life. Dark Lord kneels at Helmet's side and takes his hand.
Why couldn’t you just leave well enough alone? Why did you have to display such dedication and courage, when all I needed you to show was darkness?
Helmet tries to answer, but cannot muster the strength.
Marshall and Madness appear over either shoulder of Dark Lord with Marshall placing his hand on Dark Lord's shoulder. Dark Lord slowly stands, while still looking down at Helmet.
Come on brother, we gotta get back to Earth.
Dark Lord says nothing, and simply turns and walks away. Marshall pulls something from his pocket and hands it to Madness.
You know what to do brother.
Marshall begins walking away as Madness kneels over Helmet. Madness’s arm moves around the face of Helmet, and then he slowly stands and looks down at Helmet. Helmets face shield is pulled down and written across it in silver are the letters, N-W-O.
Static pulses and takes over the screen and then fades to a disclaimer.
The following announcement has been paid for by the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.
Back to the black and white, back to the portrait studio with the cool music playing softly in the background. Flash a shot of Terry Marshall flexing, because even as a heel Marshall must pose.
Ya know Sinners I got a question that has been burning in my brain. It's burning hotter than the rage of Venom, it's burning hotter than James Raven’s junk after diddling Dirty Deanna. The question is this, if Dark Lord and I are old and over the hill like you say if we are two crazy dudes going through a mid-life crisis, and if we aren't really legends, then what does that make you two? Truth is you two have never beaten Dark Lord and I, and that ain't changing at Darkness Falls, JACK!
So, answer the question, what does it make you two? What will you be considered and labeled when you lose those championships in your first defense and you lose them to two old dudes going through a mid-life crisis?
Quick cut scene to Dark Lord sitting in the "thinking man" pose, and then a quick cut back to Marshall holding two stacks of money.
One thing it makes you is ignorant. You two don't know how to draw money, and by the lack of Sinners shirt I see in the crowd, it shows you don’t know how to move the merch. You don't tear your opponents down, you build them up, so that way if you win you beat somebody, and when you lose you've lost to a worthy competitor. That is promo 101, day one stuff, your daddies should have taught you that.
Cut to a picture of Punisher with a penis drawn on him in sharpie, cut back to Marshall.
Guess your dad was a dick head too.
Marshall throws the stacks of money at the camera, as the scene clears up Dark Lord stands profile starring off into the unknown.
Well, I've tried, and I've tried to get it right. I've come close, a few times too. But he lunatics run the asylum, and the animals run the zoo. We are not the wardens; we are not the zookeepers. WE ARE, the craziest people in the asylum. WE ARE, biggest beast roaming the zoo. Castaway is our brightness and fun times of our Joe Exotic. Embraced is our evilness and darkness of our Carol Baskin. Forever and always is your head the dick, you are the Jeff Lowe.
Cut to Marshall laughing hysterically.
You say we couldn't get the job done, but brother we've never been given a fair two on two match for this titles until now. You two were nipping at the heels of Legacy long before we ever were Jack. The difference isn't that you got the job done and we didn't, because we are getting the job done Sunday. The difference is that we never begged for a title match, while you two were on your hands and knees week in and week out crying about being cheated and begging for one more match. Sunday, you will get back on your knees and you will beg again, only this time it will be mercy that you beg for.
JUST KNOW JACK, that after Darkness Falls when we take those titles from you, all the begging and pleading in the world won’t get you another opportunity. Darkness Falls is it brother, it is the end of our story, the end of Sins of the Father, and the end of the shortest tag team title reign in the history of the GCWA.
Cut to Dark Lord who stands holding Helmets helmet, looking at the NWO on the faceplate.
Sinners, if I will do this to my loyal companion, what do you think I will do to you two? Helmet was like a loyal pet that had to be put down for his own good. You two are Gungans, who need to be eradicated. Like the Dinosaurs before you, you will be wiped from the face of the Earth with a… BIG BAAAAAANNNNGGGGG!!
Cut to Marshall air guitaring a lightsaber.
Sinners, after Darkness Falls you’ll be six feet deep, but the NWO will still be TOO SWEET!
~Fin
