One half of the greatest RP I ever wrote.

Unfortunately, I could not find the other half, and the site that hosted it has been lost to the ages. I believe Nathan is the only one here who read this in all its glory.



: The scene opens up on a large table. Seated at the table on the sides are Mike Zybala, Juliette Brookes, Bruce The Mighty and newest P.I.M.P.S. member because of his valiant effort at Ring Royality, Jerimiah Harding. On the table in front if them are various dice and papers and pencils and Mountain Dew bottles. At the head of the table is Chimpo the Chimp, partially hidden behind a small placard with images of knights and dragons and wizards and other mythical beings. Thats right mother fuckers, its a D&D promo!:

Zybala: Its nice that we can get together like this once in a while and veg out and play.

Bruce: Got that right dude. Not having to worry about wrestling for a bit.

Juliette: Just hanging out with friends and nerding out.

Jerimiah: Its fun. Especially since i havent done this in years (editors note: I have no idea if these guys played before. Im just using the idea that they have for rp purposes. Any and all complaints must be directed towards Harold Goldcraft. Thank you)

Chimpo: So are we ready?

: The group gives various forms of agreement.:

Chimpo: Alright then, lets recap. You are all on a quest from the Holy Order Of Therin to over through the evil Dread King Carrington, who, after winning a tournement to crown a new ruler after them royal family was mysteriously killed off, has ruled over the land of Pettikins with an iron fist. Raising taxes, capturing townsfolk to be servants, and forcing the seperation of church and state has left the people crying out for the goddess Therin to send them champions. Zybala is Zybala the Just, loyal Paladin of The Holy Order of Therin, who is hoping to bring down the dread king for the glory of his goddess and bring her light back to the people. Bruce in Memnar the fighter, who is a former wrestling champion who joined the party just for the thrill of the fight. Jules is Joanna the Sorceress, of the school of Mystiqs. She has joined the party seeking vengeance against Carrington for burning down her school in hopes of preventing any mages not alligned to the Dread King. And Miah is Dante the Thief, who is part of the quest merely to loot the king's castle if the party can vanquish the evil lord of Pettikins. Do you guys remember where you left off?

Juliette: We had just won a fight against members of the Dread King's Inquisition and headed to the near by town to rest for the night and the Tavern/Inn.

Zybala: Yeah. We just walked into the place too and then had to quit because it was like four in the morning.

Chimpo: So we did. Ok. Lets jump back into it. You four enter the tavern. What do you do?

Bruce: I look around for a table for us to sit at and order food.

Chimpo: You find a empty table with four seats.

Bruce: I make my way over to it.

Chimpo: The rest of you??

Zybala: I follow Memnar to the table.

Juliette: As does Joanna.

Jerimiah: Dante walks to the bar to order wine.

Chimpo: The three of you sit as Dante goes to the bar. When you approach the bar, the bartender asks what do you want?

Jerimiah: A skin of your best wine my good man and four glasses.

Chimpo: That will be twenty gold.

Jerimiah: Twenty??? For wine? Even it is the best you have that price is steep.

Chimpo: Before the bartender answers, a man at the end of the bar speaks up. "What do you expect? What with King Carrington taxing us to no end?"

Zybala: I join Dante at the bar to see what the hub bub is.

Chimpo: You make your way to the bar and stand next to Dante.

Zybala: Tell us good sir more of these taxes. And who are you?

Chimpo: The man answers "I am the towns BlackSmith, but you may call me Rico noble Paladin. And the taxes have increased five fold since the Dread King has won that tournement to become ruler of this land. And with his decrees to abolish the churches, we dont even have the charitable food pantries that the priests of the goddess used to run."

Jerimiah: Even among the thieves guild, the kings greed is considered aprehencable.

Zybala: Fear not weary blacksmith. For we are on a quest from Therin herself to restore the land to what it was and to unseat the Dread King from his throne.

Chimpo: "Bless you good sirs! May Therin smile upon your quest. Before you leave, come see me at my shop in the morning, I will repair any damages to your armor or weapons before you go to face the king... free of charge as my thanks for taking on this quest." Suddenly a voice from the tavern door. "If you can offer your services for free, mayhaps King Carrington isnt taxing enough."

Zybala: I turn to see whose at the door.

Jerimiah: As do I.

Juliette: Do me or Bruce hear anything?

Chimpo: Roll perception.

: Bruce and Juliette roll their dice.:

Bruce: Eighteen plus perception...... Twenty Three.

Juliette: I got a ten all together.

Chimpo: Memnar hears but Joanna does not.

Bruce: I knudge Joanna and point toward the door.

Chimpo: Ok. All of you look towards the door and see King Carrington's Lord High Inquesitor Michael of the Clan Amp. He takes no notice of Joanna or Memnar but focuses on Zybala and Dante...... " I see that my underling was not wrong when he told me that their were rebels moving against the king."

Zybala: Wait... underling??

Chimpo: The member of the inquisition that ran away.

Jerimiah: Dude, I told you that you should of let me take the shot!

Zybala: My character is lawful good and a member of Therin's order. An attack from behind isnt noble or fair. My character wouldnt allow it.

Jerimiah: ......fucking babysitters...

Zybala: Sorry...

Chimpo: Anyways!!! Michael walks in the tavern. " So these are the would be rebels that would take the king down?? HAH! What a laughable idea."

Bruce: Does the Inquesitor have anyone with him?

Chimpo: Roll it.

: Bruce rolls.:

Bruce: 19 total.

Chimpo: You see about Eighteen soldiers outside.

Bruce: I relay this info to Joanna and CALMLY AND SLOWLY make my way to the bar.

Juliette: As do I.

Chimpo: As you two make your way to the bar, you hear the sound of swords being unsheathed from outside.

Juliette: I try to calm the situation by seducing the High Inquesitor.

Chimpo: That may not work. He is looking for rebels under orders from a king he is loyal too and may be married.

Juliette: Im still gonna try. Would i add my charisma mod or my diplomacy mod?

Chimpo: Charisma. Let em roll.

: Juliette rolls her dice. After rolling around for a bit, it finally comes to a stop. The number 1 is sitting smugly on top. The group lets out a groan and Juliette sighs.:

Juliette: What happens???

Chimpo: Well lady person, you nat oned. Not only do you NOT seduce Lord Michael, he is so repulsed by your advances that he cringes away in disgust and retches. Thats when his eyes fall upon Memnar. Michael lets out a gasp. "Are you Memnar?!"

Bruce: Why yes I am. Have i met his lordship before?

Chimpo: "No, But i have seen you before, in the fighting pits before you left the sport. You made me a hefty sum of coin when you won your retirement match."

Bruce: (raises his hand over his head signaling O.O.C. talks) Wait a tic... Can i try to bluff us out of this brawl? It looks to be a massacre and not in our favor.

Jerimiah: Youre a tank though. You got 143 hit points and 31 defense.

Bruce: Yeah, and the rest of you dont have those stats, plus i think we're surrounded.

Zybala: Which gives the enemy attack bonuses, plus the innocent NPC bar patrons. My pally is honor bound to protect the weak.

Juliette: Plus, my sorceress is kinda squishy.

Jerimiah: Fine, lets use diplomacy.

Chimpo: So what do you do?

Bruce: (lowers hand) You see my lord, fighting is why we are on are way to see the king.

Chimpo: " So you ARE rebels!"

Bruce: Not that at all!!! My companions and I were on our way to King Carrington's to propose another gladiator tournament with plans of me to enter the arena once more. The others are traveling companions to help me ward off thieves, hence the weapons.

Chimpo: "But did I not hear your Paladin companion tell the blacksmith he would overthrow the king?"

Juliette: You know how the church is. Telling the masses what they want to hear.

Chimpo: "Silence wretched hag! Your voice sickens me still! Paladin, is what the wench speaks of true?"

Zybala: (hand raises) Im conflicted here. I wanna help Memnar's plan but my class wont let me lie.

Juliette: Can i cast amnesia on Mike to make him forget?

Zybala: Hey! Not funny..

Chimpo: Yeah it is. And ironic. Go ahead but roll twice. Once to see if you do it undetected and the other to see if its true.

:Juliette rolls two dice, one comes up 17 the other 19.:

Chimpo: You succeed in both. No one sees you cast the spell and Zybala forgets the past two minutes. The Lord Inquesitor still awaits your answer.

Jerimiah: I butt in. " Excuse our friend my lord. Tonight is his first night sampling wine and im afraid it has gone to his head."

Chimpo: Whats your bluff?

Jerimiah: Ten before i roll.

Chimpo: Nice. You can only fuck up on a natural one.

: Jerimiah rolls his dice and it lands on a two. Hi fives go around the table.:

Chimpo: Michael of the clan Amp believes you. " Ah It is always amusing watching a first timer drink. Memnar, if that is your plan, we shall trouble you no further. A goodnight to you all."

Bruce: Wait my lord. To prevent further troubles, do you think you can escort us to the castle and get an audieance with King Carrington for us?

Chimpo: The High Inquesitor ponders on this. Roll to see if you convince him. Add your charisma mod.

: Bruce lets the dice roll and it bounces twice on the table and lands on a 20! The big guy flashes the big smile we all know and love!:

Chimpo: Hahahaha! Not only do you convince him to escort you, he pays for your party's rooms and bar tab and asks for an autograph. You all get a full eight hour rest, all wounds healed and all daily and encounter powers restored