How the NWO stole Christmas Part 1
Dec 5, 2020 15:58:51 GMT -6
Deana Barrows, zybala, and 1 more like this
Post by SportsEntertainmentXpress on Dec 5, 2020 15:58:51 GMT -6
Stardate 20200412
Look, Brother, the cell is designed so there is no way in or out, and it’s just the dudes locked in the cage until the deed is done.
What if uh someone real strong just ripped the door off the cell? Oh yeah, or what if someone starts the match on top of the cell, oh yeah, cause the cream always rises to the top, uh-huh.
Brother, who would start a hell in a cell match on the roof of the cell? Be realistic.
ENOUGH!
Dark Lord slams his fist onto the table with the blueprints. The loud thud shocks both Marshall and Madness, and the two men look up at Dark Lord who is visibly angry.
To win these championships we had to become dark. Now it is time for us to finish off the Sinners, and to do this we must become even darker.
Whatcha got in mind?
We are going to do the darkest, most heelish thing anyone can do. We are going to steal Christmas.
OH YEAH! LET’S GET OUR GRINCH ON, UH HUH!
Brother, how exactly are we going to steal Christmas? Do you think we can go from house to house and take all the Christmas lights and presents?
Don’t be foolish Terry, that would take too much time. No, we are going to the source of it all. We are going to kidnap Santa Clause.
OH YEAH!
Brother… that might be too…
I know, I know, TOO SWEET!
Dark Lord raises his hand for a “too sweet” and Madness shakes his head up and down and joining him. Marshall looks at his two partners and looks a bit worried about this latest plan but raises his hand and joins in the three-way too sweet. Call that a three sweet.
Stardate 20200612
The Starship Desolator flies towards the North Pole, more specifically Santa’s workshop. Once again, the three main members of the NWO are in the war room. Dark Lord roles out an attack plan that is drawn in crayon and looks as if Kevin McCallister drew it to stop Frank and Marv. While it may look as if a child drew it up, it is planned with the masterful tactics of a Mazer Rackham.
We have the element of surprise on our side.
But uh, what about my Elf on the shelf? What if Ellie The Elf snitched on us, and Santa is ready for our attack?
Oh, I took care of that already.
We flash to a cut a scene of Dark Lord standing with his hands behind his back as he stares at Ellie the elf who sits upon a tiny little rocking horse on the bedside table in the sleeping quarters of Madness.
I know you elves, you are like 6ix9ine…you be snitching. I’m going to make sure you don’t tell the fat man our plans.
The view switches to the elf’s face which becomes engulfed in the shadow of the Dark Lord. Dark Lord's finger comes into view and pokes the elf on the forehead.
BOOP! I have touched you and thus taken away your Christmas magic. Good luck warping to the North Pole now
The scene cuts back to the war room where the three predominant members of the NWO stand looking over the plans. Marshall strokes his mustache as he says, “brother, you have thought of everything”.
Dark Lords moment of pride is interrupted as the intercom blares a message from Private Strangler, “we have reached the North Pole”.
The crew moves to the command deck where they look out onto the snowy tundra of the artic. The ice and snow that coves the top of the world whips around as the Desolator slowly touches down onto the thick, icy surface.
Hey brother, where is the snow gear?
What snow gear?
Brother, it’s thirty degrees below zero.
Is that cold?
I guess you didn’t think of everything after all.
After digging through the storage area of the Desolator and finding some winter clothes from a previous battle on Hoth, Terry Marshall and Madness dawn large fur coats while Dark Lord seems unaffected by the cold. This is a stealth mission, so the entire crew is not dispatched, only the three main characters of Marshall, Madness, and Dark Lord venture into the freezing wind in pursuit of jolly old Saint Nick.
There is no need for thermal imaging and tracking devices on this mission, instead, they just follow the glow of the twinkling Christmas lights. The NWO duck behind a snowbank as they come upon Santa’s village. They peer over the bank, and what they see is surprising, as it is an empty street. The lights of the small shops are on, and Michael Bublé’s “Winter Wonderland” plays throughout the small village.
The NWO watches the streets for several moments and there is no movement.
It’s quiet, too quiet.
You uh, think Ellie got word to the Big Man?
No, impossible. I…
Dark Lord's words are interrupted by a high-pitched scream and then an Elf flying through the front window of a candy shop.
What in the world?
An Abominable Snowman follows after the flung Elf, as the Abominable burst through the storefront before scooping up the Elf and biting its head off with a single bite. Elves begin to scream and run from the Candy shop and the Cobbler shop (the shoe repair cobbler, not the half-ass pie) that is next door. The Abominable gives a bone-chilling scream as it snatches a terrified Elf in each of its massive paws.
Brother, we gotta help them.
Dark Lord looks a bit confused as he says, “but we are heels”.
Brother, there is a line that once crossed we can never come back from. We gotta be able to look ourselves in the mirror, and if I let that beast eat all these elves, I’m not going to be able to do that. So, are you guys with me.
UH HUH!
For life.
The NWO charge from the snowbank with a mighty battle cry, so much for a stealth mission. The Abominable turns looking over his shoulder and sees a massive amount of muscle barring down on him the likes of which it has never seen before. The Abominable uses the elf in its right hand as a weapon as he throws it like a Roger Clemons fastball. The Elf hits Madness in the chest, and even though Madness tries to catch it, he is still knocked to his butt by the impact.
The Abominable uses the other elf in the same fashion, but as it flies at Dark Lord, Dark Lord performs a leaping barrel roll to avoid the elf. Marshall charges in landing ThunderStruck to the stomach of the Abominable, and to Marshalls surprise the beast doesn’t go down. The Abominable staggers, but steps forward with a massive swipe of its right paw that catches Marshall. Marshall puts his hands up to block the blow, but the sheer force of the strike knocks Marshall down.
WHERE WE GO ONE, WE GO ALL!
Madness flies from the awning of the computer repair shop with a dropkick that catches the Abominable in the chest. The Abominable is once again staggered but doesn’t go down. Madness quickly rolls to his feet and grabs Marshall helping him up. The Abominable looks at the two men and gives a massive roar that ripples the flesh of Marshall and Madness. Marshall and Madness steady their selves and square up with the Abominable.
Suddenly a red light emerges from the naval of the Abominable. The Abominable freezes and slowly looks down at the light, as Marshall and Madness stare at it as well. The light moves up quickly, slicing the beast in half. The two halves fall to opposite sides revealing Dark Lord standing with his red lightsaber.
Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
Cheers erupt from the shops as the streets are flooded with Elves cheering the defeat of the Abominable. The Elves rally around the NWO cheering them on and claiming them as their heroes and saviors. An elder Elf comes forward, hobbling along on a cane.
You have saved us from the beast, the elves are in your debit. How can we repay you?
Take us to the fat man.
A hush falls over the elves, and fear creeps across the face of the elder.
Is there anything else? A baby Yoda doll perhaps, maybe even a PS5?
Only the fat man will do.
Okay, ok.
Do you fear this fat man?
The elder grips his cane tight and looks around at the other elves.
He has enslaved us and forces us to work for him. We work sixteen hours a day seven days a week. He is the most feared monster in the North Pole.
Brother, take us to the Fat Man, and we will free you from his tyranny.
The elder looks around, and an old female elf nods her head at him. The elder looks back to Marshall and nods his head yes.
It won’t be easy.
Brother, it never is.
Static takes over the screen.
The following announcement has been paid for by the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.
Terry Marshall is seen standing in front of chain link fencing holding a piece of cake in his bare hands.
Ya know, we were so happy to win the tag team titles, but a little sad we didn't finish the Sinners off. Then Lady Luck smiled on us and you two were dumb enough to challenge us to a hell in a cell match. So now we get to end your careers and keep our titles. I guess you can have your cake and eat it too.
Marshall takes a big bite of the cake and the scene cuts to Madness holding a giant textbook as if reading it.
Sinners thought they had it all figured out uh-huh, but ya knnnnnnooooowwww, just when you think you got all the answers, we change the questions. YEAH! WE KEEP YOU GUESSING!
Ya don't know which member of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders you are going to get. Could be Madness and Dark Lord. Could be Dennis Rodman and Terry Marshall. Could be we all just beat you down in the back and ya never even make it to the ring, UH HUH! YEAH! The NWO is like a box of chocolates, ya never know what you are going to get.
Quick cutaway shot of Marshall tossing chocolate into his mouth and laughing. Cut to Dark Lord who grips the fence, his forehead pressed into the chainlink.
Sinners, I hope your Christmas wish wasn't for the tag team titles, because when you wake up in the hospital Saturday morning there will be no presents under the tree for you. Your stockings will not be hung with care, because your socks will be knocked off when I big bang you right out of your shoes. When the cell door closes, you will wish you were home alone, because it will not be a wonderful life. No, this will be your nightmare before Christmas. It will take a Miracle on 34th street for you to even survive because you will die hard.
Cut to Terry Marshall holding a Red Ryder BB Gun.
Xavier, I hope you shoot your eye out, kid. HAHAHA!
Cut to Madness drinking eggnog.
Oh Yeah, Sinners, the fat lady is about to sing on ya, and your hopes of being two-time champs, but she won’t be singing Christmas carols. UH-UH, NO WAY NO HOW!
Cut back to Marshall, tapping the barrel of the Red Ryder against his forehead.
Marcus, I know it’s sad when your father passes away. I still remember when mine died. But you should be happy your daddy is dead because if he was still alive, he’d die of embarrassment when he sees how bad you are going to lose at Inferno. You wouldn’t want the thought of killing your father on your conscience, now would you?
Cut to Dark Lord smashing a photo of Punisher with his baseball bat. Cut to Madness elbow dropping a Scorpion photo. Cut back to Marshall behind the fence.
Xavier, you thought we’d let you join us. NO WAY DUDE! You’re not NWO material. We knew there was something up and we were going to eat you alive before your buddy popped out of the box. You think you pulled a fast one.
WRONG!
Now you think you got us where you want us when they lock the cage doors. You think we are going to be locked in there with you.
WRONG AGAIN!
It’s you who are going to be locked in the cell with us.
Cut to the NWO laughing as Marshall air guitars a tag team title.
~Fin.
