GCWA Fan Access Day One. Rumble Q&A
Dec 11, 2020 5:28:56 GMT -6
Deana Barrows, Dylan Thomas, and 4 more like this
Post by Alice Knight on Dec 11, 2020 5:28:56 GMT -6
GCWA Fan Access Day One.
Kansas City, St Lawrence High School Gym.
What exactly is the GCWA Righteous Rumble anyway? That's what Alice Knight was questioning as she entered the GCWA Fan Access Righteous Rumble Week Spectacular. Or also known as the GCWA 'F.A.R.R.W.S'.
This year GCWA fans and the pro-wrestlers themselves would have a meet and greet. Photo and autograph opt. Some of these fans pay good money to meet the stars. Even dress up as their favorite superstars.
Alice, who wasn't very familiar with any of GCWA history. She had no idea what a Righteous Rumble was before signing up. Lucky for her, at the Fan Access Convention fans were going through the history of the event and rules for new fans. Educating the 'noobs' with a Q&A on this major Pay Per View event.
Alice Knight would show up for this Q&A but not as Alice Knight. She would be in disguise...
~We cut to the high school gym holding the Fan Access. Hundreds of fans walking around the many exhibitions and stands selling t-shirts and playing games. Almost like a comic con or a filthy dirty circus fair.
Alice, in a Joey Ramone get up, bob cut wig, sun glasses and a stripped shirt. She carries a boombox over her shoulder, which is currently playing FAT BOTTOM GIRLS by QUEEN. She spots who she thought was Perzag.
Alice: Excuse me, PerZigZag... what's up and er...
The fan dressed up as PerZag turns around wearing 80s mullet and an ugly florescent singlet.
Alice: Oh, sorry, nerd.. um. (Alice does a British accent) 'Xcuss me mate. Could you do my a solid and point the direction of the Righteous Rumble rules panel?
NerdZag: Yes... it's over there past the Pryde statue and next to The Big Bifford chicken stand.
Alice: Thanks...
Alice walks away quietly chatting to herself.
Alice: Wow, I could probably get any one of these GCWA fan nerds to take me home to their sack for sexy time. Live-out some weird sexual fantasies of mine with these cosplay geeks.
Get real greasy...
~Alice walks into the Q&A panel that is just about to begin.
A few fans are sitting in chairs looking up at the stage where a chalk board is set up. Alice turns down her music and sits down in the middle. She looks around confidently as if she is better than these people, regardless not knowing much about the match she was getting into. The Q&A host is a man in a GCWA t-shirt who walks on the stage and bottle cap eye glasses on. Alice bursts out into laughter at the sight of the 'nerd' causing fans to look at her. She looks back at them with a 'wtf?' look.~
Host: Hey GCWA Universe! What is shaking! Guys and gals. We're just a few days away from THE RIGHTEOUS RUMBLE!!!!
The fans applaud as Alice shakes her head in disbelieve on how nerdy this is.
Host: So first let's go through some of the rules and...
~FART NOISE SOUND~
Host: Huh?
The fans and the host look at Alice who is making fart noises with her mouth.
Alice: Listen up, Teach. Let's get to the point... I got's places to be!
Host: Well... i was about to get to the rules of the Righteous Rumble... we are all GCWA Beginners here miss...
Alice: Miss... um... Veronica Goober... friends call me 'Goob'...
Alice laughs and jots down that fake name in a note pad.
Host: Okay... I will continue then... There will be 30 participants in the match. But we will start with only 2. Every few minutes there after another star enters. And the only way to eliminate your opponents is to throw them over the top ropes. And remember, its every man and woman for themselves... and...
Alice: YO! YO! TEACH! Quick question, yo!
Host: Yes, Miss Goober...
Alice: Who?
Host: You... you're Miss Veronica Goober, remember?
Alice: Are you fucking high? What you smokin'? The hashish? You token some doobies back there to build up the nerve to come on stage? I feel ya. Whenever i go to a new wrestling organization for my interview, i huff some turpentine from a garbage bag and... OOOOOOHHHH! I am Veronica Goober? Right, right, right.
Host: What's the question?
Alice: OH... is there going to be a test?
Host: No... there is not a test. These rules are just to help you enjoy the match more...
Alice: SNOOOOOOOOZE Fest! If that's the case, I am just going to sit back and listen to some tuuuuunes. Do you and the nerd patrol want to listen to some Wallflowers?
Host: Um, you don't have to be here if you don't want to. You can leave anytime you want and enjoy the other GCWA panels, Miss Goober...
Alice: Who?
Host: Ugh...
Alice: Listen, dude. You won't get rid of me that fast. I am like Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and you're the peckerwood teacher trying to bring me down. Making me wear a bra, keeping the woman down. Right? Well that's what Vietnam was all about... burning bras, babe. And i would TOTALLY burn my bra right now if it wasn't this really sexy lacy one. It was kind of expensive too and... never mind. The point I'm making is, you can't bring me down teacg... I mean ... bring us down!!! Right gang!?
Alice plays SLOW RIDE by Foghat on her boombox and begins raising the roof with her hands. The other noob GCWA fans look around concerned.
Host: Miss Goob, if you do not settle down and turn off the music immediately I will have to get security to escort you from the building.
Alice: Okay... okay... okay Mr. Zookeeper, I'll go back to my cage.
Alice turns off the music and sits down in her chair, pouting with her arms folded.
Host: Now let's back to the Righteous Rumble. Now let's make up an imaginary scenario in the match itself. Let's a, um, Chad Vargas is about to throw out say, um, an Alice Knight and...
Alice perks up in anger.
Alice: Whoa whoa whao. Vargas is about to eliminate Alice Knight??? C'mon, don't be stupid.
Host: It's just pretend...
Alice: Well pretend or not, it's not happening. Alice Knight is a treasure and Vargas is like a smelly dog turd.
Host: Okay... well Vargas throws her over the top and... well... Alice hangs on and her feet DO NOT touch the floor below. SHE IS NOT ELIMINATED...
Alice(nodding): In-ter-est-ing. So like a battle royal rule. I dig it. What happens to Alice next in this 'pretend' match of yours. You had my curiosity but now you have my attention...
Host: Well, now lets say Dylan Thomas and Dave Branson are working together cohesively as a team throughout the rumble. That is okay...
Alice(Screaming): YOU SAID IT WAS EVER PERSON FOR THEMSELVES!?!?!? Do YOU even know the rules... 'Mr. Know It All' up there made a mistake. Let's all laugh at him. HA! HA! HA! C'mon nerds, LAUGH WITH ME! HA! HA!
-silence-
Alice sits down.
Host: Well... the point i was making that you CAN work together, but in the end, there can only be one winner. See, Miss Goob. Sooner or later, only one GCWA star can win...
Alice: So ... okay. Work with me here... Say, my favorite wrestler in GCWA, Alice Knight is owning it. Kicking ass, per usual. And some stud, say a Shawn Warstein wants to work together for majority of match. Together the duo of Alice and Shawn eliminate Puffer, eliminate Bifford. Double clothes line from the duo to Terry Marshell, tossing him to the floor. Two left after everyone has entered. Alice versus Shawn Warstein. Alice, being the lady she is, says she will leave the ring so Shawn can win the shot at James Raven. But, Shawn the honourable one and gentlemen like says 'No, no, no my sweet Alice. I will leave.: And ALICE KNIGHT IS DECLARED THE WINNER! But what happens to Alice and Shawn from there? Does romance follow? Do these two talented, sexy, stars GET. IT. ON?!?!? Well, that my friends is story for another time...
Alice smiles as the panel area is awkwardly quiet.
Host: Right...
Alice: Not bad, huh? I like this ending too...
Host: Miss "Goober"... are you... Alice Knight?
Alice(nervously): Um, eh, no! NO! I am Veronica, Gooby?
Alice goes to get up for her seat and trips knocking off her glasses and wig. The crowd gasps in shock.
Host: Holy shit it is you!! Why don't you come up here on stage and tell us about your thoughts going into your first Righteous Rumble... who wants to hear from Alice? HOOT! HOOT! HOOT!
The noobs next to Alice begin hooting too. Alice sighs and walks up to the stage. She approaches the microphone.
Alice: Well... okay. Yes, I am in disguise .. there is no Goob. There should be, but there isn't. I am just hiding out in the crowd to test some of the GCWA fans. See what they think about myself and others within the company. As for your question, I feel pretty good going into the Rumble. I never had a great run in GCWA yet but I think if i can get a shot at Raven or even Big Mack O'Conner it would put me over the top and one of their shinning stars. And if I have to eliminate 29 other talented GCWA stars to do it. My will, me!
Host: What about the more talented women in the match. Betsy and Atara? Among others. Plus your long history with Big Bifford and Perzag? Are you prepared enough?
Alice: Listen, you boob. Where did you learn your interview skills from, Brooke Baldwin?
Host: Brooke Baldwin!
Alice: LOVE HER! But anyway, I am a pretty confident lady. And when I put my mind do it, I can do anything. OCW Hall of Fame. OCW Champion. I am the OWLisNIGHT! Hoot baby, Hoot! Believe in Alice Knight, gang. I BELIEVE IN ALICE KNIGHT! HOOT! So if you're a betting person, don't bet on those two hoochies like Betsy and Atara. As awesome as they are. Screw Perzag and that walrus Big Biff'. Put all your money on the OWL! AND WATCH HER SOAR AGAIN!
Alice begins shrieking and hooting loudly as she runs around the stage flapping her arms as if they were wings. Everyone in the room is nervous as she runs out to the exit. The host collects himself.
Host: Well... hoot! But... the smart bet is still on Big Bifford... or Jackson Hart maybe... anyway, let's continue... what is the luckiest number in the Righteous Rumble to pick? Well...
I STILL BELIEVE by TIM CAPPELLO plays as the camera zooms out of the panel room, zooming out through the convention, to finally a wide shot on the high school football field. Where Alice is still running into the distance as text scroll up the screen.
Kansas City, St Lawrence High School Gym.
What exactly is the GCWA Righteous Rumble anyway? That's what Alice Knight was questioning as she entered the GCWA Fan Access Righteous Rumble Week Spectacular. Or also known as the GCWA 'F.A.R.R.W.S'.
This year GCWA fans and the pro-wrestlers themselves would have a meet and greet. Photo and autograph opt. Some of these fans pay good money to meet the stars. Even dress up as their favorite superstars.
Alice, who wasn't very familiar with any of GCWA history. She had no idea what a Righteous Rumble was before signing up. Lucky for her, at the Fan Access Convention fans were going through the history of the event and rules for new fans. Educating the 'noobs' with a Q&A on this major Pay Per View event.
Alice Knight would show up for this Q&A but not as Alice Knight. She would be in disguise...
~We cut to the high school gym holding the Fan Access. Hundreds of fans walking around the many exhibitions and stands selling t-shirts and playing games. Almost like a comic con or a filthy dirty circus fair.
Alice, in a Joey Ramone get up, bob cut wig, sun glasses and a stripped shirt. She carries a boombox over her shoulder, which is currently playing FAT BOTTOM GIRLS by QUEEN. She spots who she thought was Perzag.
Alice: Excuse me, PerZigZag... what's up and er...
The fan dressed up as PerZag turns around wearing 80s mullet and an ugly florescent singlet.
Alice: Oh, sorry, nerd.. um. (Alice does a British accent) 'Xcuss me mate. Could you do my a solid and point the direction of the Righteous Rumble rules panel?
NerdZag: Yes... it's over there past the Pryde statue and next to The Big Bifford chicken stand.
Alice: Thanks...
Alice walks away quietly chatting to herself.
Alice: Wow, I could probably get any one of these GCWA fan nerds to take me home to their sack for sexy time. Live-out some weird sexual fantasies of mine with these cosplay geeks.
Get real greasy...
~Alice walks into the Q&A panel that is just about to begin.
A few fans are sitting in chairs looking up at the stage where a chalk board is set up. Alice turns down her music and sits down in the middle. She looks around confidently as if she is better than these people, regardless not knowing much about the match she was getting into. The Q&A host is a man in a GCWA t-shirt who walks on the stage and bottle cap eye glasses on. Alice bursts out into laughter at the sight of the 'nerd' causing fans to look at her. She looks back at them with a 'wtf?' look.~
Host: Hey GCWA Universe! What is shaking! Guys and gals. We're just a few days away from THE RIGHTEOUS RUMBLE!!!!
The fans applaud as Alice shakes her head in disbelieve on how nerdy this is.
Host: So first let's go through some of the rules and...
~FART NOISE SOUND~
Host: Huh?
The fans and the host look at Alice who is making fart noises with her mouth.
Alice: Listen up, Teach. Let's get to the point... I got's places to be!
Host: Well... i was about to get to the rules of the Righteous Rumble... we are all GCWA Beginners here miss...
Alice: Miss... um... Veronica Goober... friends call me 'Goob'...
Alice laughs and jots down that fake name in a note pad.
Host: Okay... I will continue then... There will be 30 participants in the match. But we will start with only 2. Every few minutes there after another star enters. And the only way to eliminate your opponents is to throw them over the top ropes. And remember, its every man and woman for themselves... and...
Alice: YO! YO! TEACH! Quick question, yo!
Host: Yes, Miss Goober...
Alice: Who?
Host: You... you're Miss Veronica Goober, remember?
Alice: Are you fucking high? What you smokin'? The hashish? You token some doobies back there to build up the nerve to come on stage? I feel ya. Whenever i go to a new wrestling organization for my interview, i huff some turpentine from a garbage bag and... OOOOOOHHHH! I am Veronica Goober? Right, right, right.
Host: What's the question?
Alice: OH... is there going to be a test?
Host: No... there is not a test. These rules are just to help you enjoy the match more...
Alice: SNOOOOOOOOZE Fest! If that's the case, I am just going to sit back and listen to some tuuuuunes. Do you and the nerd patrol want to listen to some Wallflowers?
Host: Um, you don't have to be here if you don't want to. You can leave anytime you want and enjoy the other GCWA panels, Miss Goober...
Alice: Who?
Host: Ugh...
Alice: Listen, dude. You won't get rid of me that fast. I am like Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and you're the peckerwood teacher trying to bring me down. Making me wear a bra, keeping the woman down. Right? Well that's what Vietnam was all about... burning bras, babe. And i would TOTALLY burn my bra right now if it wasn't this really sexy lacy one. It was kind of expensive too and... never mind. The point I'm making is, you can't bring me down teacg... I mean ... bring us down!!! Right gang!?
Alice plays SLOW RIDE by Foghat on her boombox and begins raising the roof with her hands. The other noob GCWA fans look around concerned.
Host: Miss Goob, if you do not settle down and turn off the music immediately I will have to get security to escort you from the building.
Alice: Okay... okay... okay Mr. Zookeeper, I'll go back to my cage.
Alice turns off the music and sits down in her chair, pouting with her arms folded.
Host: Now let's back to the Righteous Rumble. Now let's make up an imaginary scenario in the match itself. Let's a, um, Chad Vargas is about to throw out say, um, an Alice Knight and...
Alice perks up in anger.
Alice: Whoa whoa whao. Vargas is about to eliminate Alice Knight??? C'mon, don't be stupid.
Host: It's just pretend...
Alice: Well pretend or not, it's not happening. Alice Knight is a treasure and Vargas is like a smelly dog turd.
Host: Okay... well Vargas throws her over the top and... well... Alice hangs on and her feet DO NOT touch the floor below. SHE IS NOT ELIMINATED...
Alice(nodding): In-ter-est-ing. So like a battle royal rule. I dig it. What happens to Alice next in this 'pretend' match of yours. You had my curiosity but now you have my attention...
Host: Well, now lets say Dylan Thomas and Dave Branson are working together cohesively as a team throughout the rumble. That is okay...
Alice(Screaming): YOU SAID IT WAS EVER PERSON FOR THEMSELVES!?!?!? Do YOU even know the rules... 'Mr. Know It All' up there made a mistake. Let's all laugh at him. HA! HA! HA! C'mon nerds, LAUGH WITH ME! HA! HA!
-silence-
Alice sits down.
Host: Well... the point i was making that you CAN work together, but in the end, there can only be one winner. See, Miss Goob. Sooner or later, only one GCWA star can win...
Alice: So ... okay. Work with me here... Say, my favorite wrestler in GCWA, Alice Knight is owning it. Kicking ass, per usual. And some stud, say a Shawn Warstein wants to work together for majority of match. Together the duo of Alice and Shawn eliminate Puffer, eliminate Bifford. Double clothes line from the duo to Terry Marshell, tossing him to the floor. Two left after everyone has entered. Alice versus Shawn Warstein. Alice, being the lady she is, says she will leave the ring so Shawn can win the shot at James Raven. But, Shawn the honourable one and gentlemen like says 'No, no, no my sweet Alice. I will leave.: And ALICE KNIGHT IS DECLARED THE WINNER! But what happens to Alice and Shawn from there? Does romance follow? Do these two talented, sexy, stars GET. IT. ON?!?!? Well, that my friends is story for another time...
Alice smiles as the panel area is awkwardly quiet.
Host: Right...
Alice: Not bad, huh? I like this ending too...
Host: Miss "Goober"... are you... Alice Knight?
Alice(nervously): Um, eh, no! NO! I am Veronica, Gooby?
Alice goes to get up for her seat and trips knocking off her glasses and wig. The crowd gasps in shock.
Host: Holy shit it is you!! Why don't you come up here on stage and tell us about your thoughts going into your first Righteous Rumble... who wants to hear from Alice? HOOT! HOOT! HOOT!
The noobs next to Alice begin hooting too. Alice sighs and walks up to the stage. She approaches the microphone.
Alice: Well... okay. Yes, I am in disguise .. there is no Goob. There should be, but there isn't. I am just hiding out in the crowd to test some of the GCWA fans. See what they think about myself and others within the company. As for your question, I feel pretty good going into the Rumble. I never had a great run in GCWA yet but I think if i can get a shot at Raven or even Big Mack O'Conner it would put me over the top and one of their shinning stars. And if I have to eliminate 29 other talented GCWA stars to do it. My will, me!
Host: What about the more talented women in the match. Betsy and Atara? Among others. Plus your long history with Big Bifford and Perzag? Are you prepared enough?
Alice: Listen, you boob. Where did you learn your interview skills from, Brooke Baldwin?
Host: Brooke Baldwin!
Alice: LOVE HER! But anyway, I am a pretty confident lady. And when I put my mind do it, I can do anything. OCW Hall of Fame. OCW Champion. I am the OWLisNIGHT! Hoot baby, Hoot! Believe in Alice Knight, gang. I BELIEVE IN ALICE KNIGHT! HOOT! So if you're a betting person, don't bet on those two hoochies like Betsy and Atara. As awesome as they are. Screw Perzag and that walrus Big Biff'. Put all your money on the OWL! AND WATCH HER SOAR AGAIN!
Alice begins shrieking and hooting loudly as she runs around the stage flapping her arms as if they were wings. Everyone in the room is nervous as she runs out to the exit. The host collects himself.
Host: Well... hoot! But... the smart bet is still on Big Bifford... or Jackson Hart maybe... anyway, let's continue... what is the luckiest number in the Righteous Rumble to pick? Well...
I STILL BELIEVE by TIM CAPPELLO plays as the camera zooms out of the panel room, zooming out through the convention, to finally a wide shot on the high school football field. Where Alice is still running into the distance as text scroll up the screen.
"Alice Knight went on to win the Righteous Rumble that night when she eliminated the Hamburger Helper glove in a heated bout...
...At least in her dreams she won. Her very lucid acid like dreams from that night.
As for the REAL Righteous Rumble winner? Well... that's TO BE DETERMINED."
