The Zag Saga Continues........... (Righteous Rumble RP #1)
Dec 16, 2020 10:16:48 GMT -6
Deana Barrows, Dylan Thomas, and 2 more like this
Post by PerZag on Dec 16, 2020 10:16:48 GMT -6
With the identity crisis that has enveloped PerZag’s life, in the past month, dealt with and triumphed over, ‘The Sexiest Man In Wrestling’ stands outside of his apartment complex staring at the bright blue sky above him with a colossal smile on his face.
“What a beautiful day for someone as beautiful as I!”
With his ego back in check and his hands on his hips, PerZag takes in a deep breath of fresh air as a limousine pulls up to the curb only a few metres in front of him. The driver’s door opens up as a man wearing a black suit along with a chauffeur’s hat steps out and walks up to PerZag, offering his hand out for a handshake.
“Kenny, my man, how have you been?”
PerZag takes the hand of Kenny and shakes it.
“Things have been good, Zag. You ready to go?”
PerZag looks down at a black duffel bag that is placed next to his feet.
“All packed and ready.”
Kenny nods his head as PerZag picks up the duffel bag and they walk the few metres to the back of the limousine. Kenny opens up the back door, and PerZag throws his duffel bag inside. PerZag follows the duffel bag inside the limousine as Kenny shuts the door behind him. Kenny walks to the front of the limousine getting into the driver’s seat. The limousine begins pulling away as the scene switches to PerZag in the back of the limousine. He stares outside the window at the sky above him.
“Should I or shouldn’t I?
PerZag ponders to himself as he watches the outside world go by before turning and looking at a telecom that is within the backend of the limousine to allow communication between himself and Kenny. He stares at it, contemplating, before pressing a button and speaking.
“Hey Kenny, can we please make one more stop before Kansas City? You know where.”
PerZag lets go of the button waiting for Kenny to respond.
“Sure thing, Zag. We’ll be there in about an hour. Can I ask you something?”
PerZag presses the button once more.
“Yes, certainly, Kenny. Ask away.”
PerZag lets go of the button as Kenny replies.
“Are you going to go in this time?”
PerZag pauses staring at the telecom in front of him. His mind racing, he manages to press the button.
“I’m not sure, Kenny. We’ll see when we get there.”
PerZag removes his finger from the button before sitting back in his seat and staring out the window.
“I’ve got an hour to kill now. I know what I must do.”
The scene opens up to a familiar setting in the World of PerZag. A talk show setting with a significant blue background with ‘Dr Phil’ written on it. The same scene from PerZag’s Daydream from back at Ultimate Survival. PerZag sits on a chair on the left whilst the chair on the right side of view is turned around. PerZag stares towards the camera with his gigantic, beautiful smile plastered on his face.
“Hello everybody and welcome back to another interview between Dr Phil and myself. I am ecstatic to be here as this beautiful place helped take me further than anybody would have expected. You see, for those that are unaware, I returned to wrestling earlier this year for Ultimate Survival—my first match in more than a year at the time. And Dr Phil here helped me get ready for that night in which I went down to the final two before being eliminated by Big Bifford.
So in preparation for the Righteous Rumble, I thought that I would return to the places that assisted me in my successes over this past year to better prepare myself for this ultimate, yet righteous, task ahead of me. So, Dr Phil, I am ready when you are.”
PerZag looks over to the seat on the right side of the stage, waiting for Dr Phil to turn his chair around.
“Hey Phil, I’m ready to go. Come on, mate, I’ve got some good ones this time. It’s not only Big Bifford having a heart attack or Alice Knight having a brain tumour anymore.”
PerZag stands up and walks over to the chair.
“Come on, man, you know that game we did. You’d say a name, and I’d come up with a response. I have one for Raging Dead. It’s Placid Living. You see what I did there? I used antonyms. And Legacy. Well, gay orgy is the first thing that comes to mind. Come on, man, talk to me.”
PerZag grabs the chair turning it around to reveal a skeleton. PerZag jumps back out of fright as he stares at the bare bones of Dr Phil.
“Oh no, Dr Phil. This can’t be right.”
PerZag stops and stares off towards the camera.
“Ah, shit, maybe it can be right. I forgot to daydream him eating food. Fuck, shit, he starved to death. Fuck. I daydreamed Dr Phil starving to death. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
PerZag starts rubbing his chin.
“It’s alright; it’s alright, you’ve had other successes Zag. Like when you beat Tony Savage for the North American Championship. Where did you go then?”
Remembering where he went, PerZag smiles before clicking his thumb, switching the scene to the bright green countryside of an animated land. That’s right; it’s animated. And as the countryside is animated, PerZag stands on the green grass completely animated as well. He looks around the animated world before looking towards the camera’s view once more.
“THE LAND OF IMAGINATION! What a place, this is! A fantastic place for everybody everywhere and this little fantasy world helped me better prepare for the dethroning of Tony Savage. From riding Toothless to chopping off stormtrooper heads that looked like Tony, this place gives me everything that I could, well, imagine. Now, what shall I do?”
The animated PerZag considers for a few moments as he stares throughout the beautiful animated countryside, clicking his fingers as a sign of having an idea.
“I’ve got it. I’ll get Toothless to help me kill some stormtroopers that look like other participants in the Rumble.”
PerZag cups his hands around his mouth as he looks up towards the sky.
“TOOTHLESS! I’M HERE!”
In an instant, Toothless (from How To Train Your Dragon) appears landing onto the ground beside PerZag. PerZag gives him a scratch under the chin as he talks to him.
“How are you going buddy? You ready to kill some stormtroopers?”
Toothless starts nodding his head up and down when suddenly his head disappears after a loud boom. The rest of Toothless’ body slumps to the ground as PerZag stares off in awe as twenty metres away from the animated Zag is a cannon along with seven dwarves wearing masks. The animated seven laughs with childish voices as PerZag stares at them in bewilderment.
“You fucking bastards. You insignificant small pieces of trash.”
The seven dwarves stop laughing as they stare down PerZag, lining up side by side until all seven are in a straight line. The seven dwarves wear seven masks that appear to look like GCWA Rumble participants except the masks are animated too because this is imagination land. Everything’s animated here, so picture everything as being animated until I say otherwise. The first dwarf steps forward.
“Who are you calling insignificant?”
PerZag stares at the first dwarf who is wearing a facemask of Outcast.
“Well, your face makes you insignificant, just like the rest of you.”
The other six dwarves wear facemasks of Amelia Abernathy, Sara Cross, Cartier, Valis Deathbringer, Kylie Moore & Robert Main.
“You all are the INSIGNIFICANT SEVEN!”
The seven insignificant dwarves start to prepare for a war with PerZag as the sudden sound of a trumpet is heard, the dwarves turn around and watch as a woman approaches. The dwarf that looks like Outcast speaks.
“It’s our queen. All hail queen Snow White.”
As Snow White approaches, she starts looking less like a woman and more like a female version of Mike Zybala. As ‘she’ comes, PerZag starts nodding his head in an understanding sort of way.
“I get it. I understand. Snow White is meant to fall into a deathlike slumber, but because she looks like Zybala, she puts everyone watching into a deathlike slumber.”
Suddenly, Snow-Zybala-White grabs at his/her chest and drops to the ground dead. The seven insignificant dwarves stare at their deceased queen in bewilderment before the Outcast mask-wearing dwarf turns its attention to Zag.
“You burned our queen to death. We’ll kill you for that.”
PerZag punt kicks the Outcast dwarf through the air into the horizon. The other six dwarves watch their companion fly away before turning their attention to Zag. Zag begins punt kicking every single last Insignificant Dwarf until they are all kicked into the horizon. PerZag turns, screaming towards the horizon.
“THAT’S RIGHT YOU INSIGNIFICANT SEVEN! THAT’S ALL THE PROMO TIME YOU’LL BE GETTING!”
PerZag turns away from the horizon, looking at the headless corpse of Toothless that is still laying on the ground.
“Oh, buddy, things just aren’t going to be the same here without you. I have to cancel Imagination Land.”
PerZag suddenly awakens back in the real world (where it’s not animated) as he is still seated in the back of the limousine. He starts shaking his head at himself.
“What the fuck am I going to do? Without my epic promo settings, how am I supposed to talk about winning the Rumble? About beating the sex-changing Graves. Or the Sinning Fathers. Or Fat Ass Biff, annoying Knight, steroid infested Marshall, racist Chad or my buddies Thomas and Branson.
How am I going to get my point across? How am I going to tell everybody that I am going to win this entire Rumble and go on to defeat the less sexually attractive Raven or the bald-headed fruit loop, Mack? I need a promo to end all promos. I need it to be the best it could ever be. But how?”
As PerZag tries to determine what the most fabulous promo ever could like, Kenny’s voice comes through the telecom.
“Alright, Zag, we’re here. You going in?”
PerZag freezes as he looks out the window towards a white house with a maroon coloured roof.
“Zag? You going in or do you want me to take off?”
PerZag starts breathing heavily as he starts to have a panic attack before Kenny’s loud booming voice stops him.
“PERZAG!”
PerZag turns to the telecom, pressing the button.
“I’m going in.”
PerZag opens the door and steps out; his eyes fixed on the house before him. He stares at the brown door only fifteen metres in front of him. The thought of what is behind that door envelops him as in an instant he is at the door, pressing the doorbell.
He stands there waiting, his finger hovering over the doorbell, his heartbeat pounding in his chest, his mind racing with a million voices at once, but it all stops as the door opens up and a familiar redhead stands in the doorway. His heartbeat slows, his mind dies down; everything suddenly goes slow as he stares at her. But everything reverts to normal as soon as PerZag speaks.
“Rhiannon. Please, don’t shut the door and don’t speak. I need to say something. And I need to say it now. I’m so fucking sorry that I haven’t found Tommy. I have tried everything I could. I searched for him myself. I hired a Private Detective, but Franklin Smithstone has disappeared off the map. And Stan, well…………..”
PerZag pauses as tears start to form in his eyes.
“Stan was………… Stan was………….. Stan…………..”
Suddenly Rhiannon wraps her arms around PerZag in a hug.
“Oh, Zag, I heard about Stanley. I heard that you found him too. I’m so so sorry.”
“Rhi, I am sorry that I couldn’t be better. I am sorry that I lost Tommy and I am sorry I couldn’t find him. And………..”
PerZag lets go of the hug and pulls away from Rhiannon.
“......... I am just so damn sorry for all the pain I have put you through. If I had just kept a better eye on Tommy, none of this would ever have happened. He never would’ve been kidnapped, and everything would have been okay. It’s all my fucking fault.”
PerZag looks away from Rhiannon and stares towards the ground. Rhiannon Clarkson reaches up, grabbing PerZag’s face and turning it towards herself.
“Zag, can you please come inside? I need to show you something.”
PerZag stares into Rhiannon’s eyes as she starts giving him a small smile. PerZag closes his eyes and nods his head as he follows Rhiannon inside as the scene fades out.
Next time in the Zag Saga. Will PerZag find the ultimate promo to destroy the rest of the competition? Will Rhiannon Clarkson forgive him and take him back? Will Tommy ever be seen? What happened to Detective Smithstone? Will PerZag win the Righteous Rumble?
The answer to that last question is ‘yes’, but for the rest, we may or may not have answered for you next time in the Zag Saga.
OOC: Word Count comes out to 2202 words according to my Google Docs, so it is just shy of the 250 word buffer, so I should not be breaching the word count. Anyhow, I hope everyone has enjoyed my crazy effed up RP right here lol.
“What a beautiful day for someone as beautiful as I!”
With his ego back in check and his hands on his hips, PerZag takes in a deep breath of fresh air as a limousine pulls up to the curb only a few metres in front of him. The driver’s door opens up as a man wearing a black suit along with a chauffeur’s hat steps out and walks up to PerZag, offering his hand out for a handshake.
“Kenny, my man, how have you been?”
PerZag takes the hand of Kenny and shakes it.
“Things have been good, Zag. You ready to go?”
PerZag looks down at a black duffel bag that is placed next to his feet.
“All packed and ready.”
Kenny nods his head as PerZag picks up the duffel bag and they walk the few metres to the back of the limousine. Kenny opens up the back door, and PerZag throws his duffel bag inside. PerZag follows the duffel bag inside the limousine as Kenny shuts the door behind him. Kenny walks to the front of the limousine getting into the driver’s seat. The limousine begins pulling away as the scene switches to PerZag in the back of the limousine. He stares outside the window at the sky above him.
“Should I or shouldn’t I?
PerZag ponders to himself as he watches the outside world go by before turning and looking at a telecom that is within the backend of the limousine to allow communication between himself and Kenny. He stares at it, contemplating, before pressing a button and speaking.
“Hey Kenny, can we please make one more stop before Kansas City? You know where.”
PerZag lets go of the button waiting for Kenny to respond.
“Sure thing, Zag. We’ll be there in about an hour. Can I ask you something?”
PerZag presses the button once more.
“Yes, certainly, Kenny. Ask away.”
PerZag lets go of the button as Kenny replies.
“Are you going to go in this time?”
PerZag pauses staring at the telecom in front of him. His mind racing, he manages to press the button.
“I’m not sure, Kenny. We’ll see when we get there.”
PerZag removes his finger from the button before sitting back in his seat and staring out the window.
“I’ve got an hour to kill now. I know what I must do.”
PerZag’s Daydream
The scene opens up to a familiar setting in the World of PerZag. A talk show setting with a significant blue background with ‘Dr Phil’ written on it. The same scene from PerZag’s Daydream from back at Ultimate Survival. PerZag sits on a chair on the left whilst the chair on the right side of view is turned around. PerZag stares towards the camera with his gigantic, beautiful smile plastered on his face.
“Hello everybody and welcome back to another interview between Dr Phil and myself. I am ecstatic to be here as this beautiful place helped take me further than anybody would have expected. You see, for those that are unaware, I returned to wrestling earlier this year for Ultimate Survival—my first match in more than a year at the time. And Dr Phil here helped me get ready for that night in which I went down to the final two before being eliminated by Big Bifford.
So in preparation for the Righteous Rumble, I thought that I would return to the places that assisted me in my successes over this past year to better prepare myself for this ultimate, yet righteous, task ahead of me. So, Dr Phil, I am ready when you are.”
PerZag looks over to the seat on the right side of the stage, waiting for Dr Phil to turn his chair around.
“Hey Phil, I’m ready to go. Come on, mate, I’ve got some good ones this time. It’s not only Big Bifford having a heart attack or Alice Knight having a brain tumour anymore.”
PerZag stands up and walks over to the chair.
“Come on, man, you know that game we did. You’d say a name, and I’d come up with a response. I have one for Raging Dead. It’s Placid Living. You see what I did there? I used antonyms. And Legacy. Well, gay orgy is the first thing that comes to mind. Come on, man, talk to me.”
PerZag grabs the chair turning it around to reveal a skeleton. PerZag jumps back out of fright as he stares at the bare bones of Dr Phil.
“Oh no, Dr Phil. This can’t be right.”
PerZag stops and stares off towards the camera.
“Ah, shit, maybe it can be right. I forgot to daydream him eating food. Fuck, shit, he starved to death. Fuck. I daydreamed Dr Phil starving to death. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
PerZag starts rubbing his chin.
“It’s alright; it’s alright, you’ve had other successes Zag. Like when you beat Tony Savage for the North American Championship. Where did you go then?”
Remembering where he went, PerZag smiles before clicking his thumb, switching the scene to the bright green countryside of an animated land. That’s right; it’s animated. And as the countryside is animated, PerZag stands on the green grass completely animated as well. He looks around the animated world before looking towards the camera’s view once more.
“THE LAND OF IMAGINATION! What a place, this is! A fantastic place for everybody everywhere and this little fantasy world helped me better prepare for the dethroning of Tony Savage. From riding Toothless to chopping off stormtrooper heads that looked like Tony, this place gives me everything that I could, well, imagine. Now, what shall I do?”
The animated PerZag considers for a few moments as he stares throughout the beautiful animated countryside, clicking his fingers as a sign of having an idea.
“I’ve got it. I’ll get Toothless to help me kill some stormtroopers that look like other participants in the Rumble.”
PerZag cups his hands around his mouth as he looks up towards the sky.
“TOOTHLESS! I’M HERE!”
In an instant, Toothless (from How To Train Your Dragon) appears landing onto the ground beside PerZag. PerZag gives him a scratch under the chin as he talks to him.
“How are you going buddy? You ready to kill some stormtroopers?”
Toothless starts nodding his head up and down when suddenly his head disappears after a loud boom. The rest of Toothless’ body slumps to the ground as PerZag stares off in awe as twenty metres away from the animated Zag is a cannon along with seven dwarves wearing masks. The animated seven laughs with childish voices as PerZag stares at them in bewilderment.
“You fucking bastards. You insignificant small pieces of trash.”
The seven dwarves stop laughing as they stare down PerZag, lining up side by side until all seven are in a straight line. The seven dwarves wear seven masks that appear to look like GCWA Rumble participants except the masks are animated too because this is imagination land. Everything’s animated here, so picture everything as being animated until I say otherwise. The first dwarf steps forward.
“Who are you calling insignificant?”
PerZag stares at the first dwarf who is wearing a facemask of Outcast.
“Well, your face makes you insignificant, just like the rest of you.”
The other six dwarves wear facemasks of Amelia Abernathy, Sara Cross, Cartier, Valis Deathbringer, Kylie Moore & Robert Main.
“You all are the INSIGNIFICANT SEVEN!”
The seven insignificant dwarves start to prepare for a war with PerZag as the sudden sound of a trumpet is heard, the dwarves turn around and watch as a woman approaches. The dwarf that looks like Outcast speaks.
“It’s our queen. All hail queen Snow White.”
As Snow White approaches, she starts looking less like a woman and more like a female version of Mike Zybala. As ‘she’ comes, PerZag starts nodding his head in an understanding sort of way.
“I get it. I understand. Snow White is meant to fall into a deathlike slumber, but because she looks like Zybala, she puts everyone watching into a deathlike slumber.”
Suddenly, Snow-Zybala-White grabs at his/her chest and drops to the ground dead. The seven insignificant dwarves stare at their deceased queen in bewilderment before the Outcast mask-wearing dwarf turns its attention to Zag.
“You burned our queen to death. We’ll kill you for that.”
PerZag punt kicks the Outcast dwarf through the air into the horizon. The other six dwarves watch their companion fly away before turning their attention to Zag. Zag begins punt kicking every single last Insignificant Dwarf until they are all kicked into the horizon. PerZag turns, screaming towards the horizon.
“THAT’S RIGHT YOU INSIGNIFICANT SEVEN! THAT’S ALL THE PROMO TIME YOU’LL BE GETTING!”
PerZag turns away from the horizon, looking at the headless corpse of Toothless that is still laying on the ground.
“Oh, buddy, things just aren’t going to be the same here without you. I have to cancel Imagination Land.”
PerZag suddenly awakens back in the real world (where it’s not animated) as he is still seated in the back of the limousine. He starts shaking his head at himself.
“What the fuck am I going to do? Without my epic promo settings, how am I supposed to talk about winning the Rumble? About beating the sex-changing Graves. Or the Sinning Fathers. Or Fat Ass Biff, annoying Knight, steroid infested Marshall, racist Chad or my buddies Thomas and Branson.
How am I going to get my point across? How am I going to tell everybody that I am going to win this entire Rumble and go on to defeat the less sexually attractive Raven or the bald-headed fruit loop, Mack? I need a promo to end all promos. I need it to be the best it could ever be. But how?”
As PerZag tries to determine what the most fabulous promo ever could like, Kenny’s voice comes through the telecom.
“Alright, Zag, we’re here. You going in?”
PerZag freezes as he looks out the window towards a white house with a maroon coloured roof.
“Zag? You going in or do you want me to take off?”
PerZag starts breathing heavily as he starts to have a panic attack before Kenny’s loud booming voice stops him.
“PERZAG!”
PerZag turns to the telecom, pressing the button.
“I’m going in.”
PerZag opens the door and steps out; his eyes fixed on the house before him. He stares at the brown door only fifteen metres in front of him. The thought of what is behind that door envelops him as in an instant he is at the door, pressing the doorbell.
He stands there waiting, his finger hovering over the doorbell, his heartbeat pounding in his chest, his mind racing with a million voices at once, but it all stops as the door opens up and a familiar redhead stands in the doorway. His heartbeat slows, his mind dies down; everything suddenly goes slow as he stares at her. But everything reverts to normal as soon as PerZag speaks.
“Rhiannon. Please, don’t shut the door and don’t speak. I need to say something. And I need to say it now. I’m so fucking sorry that I haven’t found Tommy. I have tried everything I could. I searched for him myself. I hired a Private Detective, but Franklin Smithstone has disappeared off the map. And Stan, well…………..”
PerZag pauses as tears start to form in his eyes.
“Stan was………… Stan was………….. Stan…………..”
Suddenly Rhiannon wraps her arms around PerZag in a hug.
“Oh, Zag, I heard about Stanley. I heard that you found him too. I’m so so sorry.”
“Rhi, I am sorry that I couldn’t be better. I am sorry that I lost Tommy and I am sorry I couldn’t find him. And………..”
PerZag lets go of the hug and pulls away from Rhiannon.
“......... I am just so damn sorry for all the pain I have put you through. If I had just kept a better eye on Tommy, none of this would ever have happened. He never would’ve been kidnapped, and everything would have been okay. It’s all my fucking fault.”
PerZag looks away from Rhiannon and stares towards the ground. Rhiannon Clarkson reaches up, grabbing PerZag’s face and turning it towards herself.
“Zag, can you please come inside? I need to show you something.”
PerZag stares into Rhiannon’s eyes as she starts giving him a small smile. PerZag closes his eyes and nods his head as he follows Rhiannon inside as the scene fades out.
Next time in the Zag Saga. Will PerZag find the ultimate promo to destroy the rest of the competition? Will Rhiannon Clarkson forgive him and take him back? Will Tommy ever be seen? What happened to Detective Smithstone? Will PerZag win the Righteous Rumble?
The answer to that last question is ‘yes’, but for the rest, we may or may not have answered for you next time in the Zag Saga.
OOC: Word Count comes out to 2202 words according to my Google Docs, so it is just shy of the 250 word buffer, so I should not be breaching the word count. Anyhow, I hope everyone has enjoyed my crazy effed up RP right here lol.
