Post by zybala on Dec 17, 2020 11:19:20 GMT -6
: The scene opens in the future!! Whaaa?? Yes friends, we are propelled in the future for this one. Not too far. On December 20th to be precise. We are back in the locker room area where three men who look like dollar store knock-offs of Noah Jackson, Shawn Warstein and Jackson Hart are sitting in chairs with their heads down in shame. They are getting yelled at by someone. The camera pans to the man yelling at them. We see that it's Mike Zybala dressed up as James Raven. He has a paper version of the GCWA title over his shoulders and he is looking pissed. :
Zybala: Amateurs!! All of you! You had one job! One of you was supposed to win the Righteous Rumble and you all failed!! You even had the ladies in there helping you!!
"Hart": To be fair, there were twenty four other people trying to win.
Zybala: I don't care! That only means each of you had to eliminate five people a piece! How hard is that? You're The Legacy dammit! Hell, all of you were in the ring at the same time! You should have ran that shit!
"Jackson": Cunt cunt cunt, cuntcunt, cunt cunt.
Zybala: I saw that. But the Five of you should have been able to lift Bifford's fat ass out of the ring!
"Warstein": We almost got him out, but by then Deathbringer got to the ring and helped him.
Zybala: Deathbringer?! You're telling me that that LARPing nerd was able to turn the tide against the guys that took out Raging Dead and that piece of shit group, The A-List?!
"Jackson": Cunt!
Zybala: I don't care that he sat on Biff's lap to make them heavier. The FIVE of you couldn't pull them apart and throw them about before the next loser showed up.
"Hart": That "loser" was Thunderkn…
Zybala: You don't deserve to say that name! You let fucking THUNDERKNUCKLES of all people throw you out Jackson!
: "Warstein" starts chuckling at this. Zybala whips his head in his direction. :
Zybala: You better not be laughing at that, Shawn. You let Zybala of a people throw you out! That's worse than Knuckles! You already beat Zybala before. He should have been easy picking for you.
: "Warstein" gets to his feet and gets in Zybala/"Raven's" face. He glares at the "leader" with anger. :
"Warstein": Look, you weren't in there. You didn't have to deal with him. There was something different about him tonight. He was like a man possessed. He was more vicious than he was when I faced him last time. He threw out like seven people on his own, including heavy hitters like Terry Marshall and Enforcer..
"Hart": And you..
"Warstein": Hey, fuck you man. You got thrown out by Houston. I'm just saying, something was not normal about Zybala tonight. Plus, what he did to poor Amelia….
"Jackson": Cunt cunt cunt.
"Hart": You're right. He went way too far. I mean, we were all annoyed that she brought her checkbook to the ring to bribe us all to leave. I was surprised that Biff and Puffer took the million, but Zybala didn't have to do that…
"Warstein": To take the checkbook, fold it in half, and to literally shove it up her ass in front of the crowd….
: All the men shudder at reliving the horrific memory. Zybala glares angrily at the group again. :
Zybala: And that's the lunatic that you idiots let win the Rumble! Now he gets a shot at the title that was totally gifted to me. I'm seriously considering throwing my match against Mack so I don't have to face Zybala! You guys have caused The Legacy to eventually have no more titles!
"Warstein": Hold up. I'm still the North American champion. We still have a title.
Zybala: Pfft! Zybala is gunning for your belt too. The next time he'll find a way around Deana helping you. Especially with Ace back in the picture. What use are you idiots in protecting the title that I never won if you can't stop one man in a Rumble?
"Jackson": Cunt!
Zybala: I wouldn't have to try to stop Zybala if you fuckers did your job right! You three plus the girls gave us a better chance of winning than anyone else! Yet you still managed to fuck it all up and let Zybala win!
"Hart": Shouldn't you be worrying about Mack?
Zybala: How can I when Zybala is looking right around the corner!?!l You know what? I'm just gonna tell Mack that I'm going to let him win. I hope you useless fuckers are happy. You just made The Legacy look like losers!!
: Zybala storms out of the locker room, slamming the door behind him. He makes his way through the halls for a while before running into…. Jason Statham! The celebrity is wearing a Mack O'Connor shirt. How the hell did Zybala convince the superstar to do this?! The two men stare at each other before "Mack" breaks the silence. :
"Mack": Look Raven. Normally I wouldn't mind kicking your ass and getting my title back, but that was before Zybala won the Rumble. So here's what's gonna happen. We go out there, put on a good show, and I lay down for you.
Zybala: I was gonna make you the same offer. I don't wanna fight that maniac. I don't want stuff shoved up my ass.
Mack: Neither do I! I'd rather go back to jail than face Mike. I feel I have less of a chance of keeping my backside "Exit Only" in jail than I do facing him. Who does that to a fellow wrestler?!
Zybala: To be fair, Amelia isn't that much of a wrestler. I get what you're saying though. I feel like you have a better chance of fending off Zybala than I do. So you win the match.
Mack: Fuck that, I'm safer in jail. YOU win the match!
: The two men start shoving each other which breaks into a very staged, Hollywood-esq fight. Security runs over to break up the "fight" as the scene fades to black… :
I know. It's a little too much, right? I thought I was a little heavy handed on the parodies, but it's so hard to find good actors during a pandemic. Except Statham. That guy has the immune system of a god. He doesn't fear anything. Plus he owed me a favor. Though I see good things in the future of the guy who played Noah Jackson. He played his character perfectly. I thought I was looking at the real Noah. Regardless of who played what, I think it was an accurate depiction of what The Legacy locker room is gonna look like on Sunday.
Can I really foresee the future? Not at all. I don't know if ThunderTwat will eliminate Jackson and I'm pretty sure I won't really shove a checkbook up anyone's ass. We might see Sara Cross eliminate Bifford for all I know. I can't tell you what is going to happen in the Righteous Rumble, save for one thing. Yours truly is gonna be the last dude standing. The bodies of the eliminated ones will litter the floor surrounding the ring as they all sit there and stare up at me with hatred and envy in their eyes.
I know that getting the win will be hard. There are plenty of great wrestlers and teams in this that will make my win almost impossible. Almost being the key word. I'm no fool, I expect that The Legacy will be the greatest threat in the Rumble. They will stop at nothing to win and make sure the world title stays in their little group. But how long will that teamwork last? Sure, a Legacy win is a win for them all, but only ONE can win. I know they all wanna prove something, especially that second rate champ Warstein. Always being reminded that he's the silver medal of the group being the North American champion. I know that he would love to win the Rumble to get a shot at Raven to prove he's not just second best. Don't worry Shawn, there is no second best in The Righteous Rumble. It's just a list of losers who couldn't compete with me. Eventually, you won't even be second in The Legacy after I win back my North American title. Then you all can be the same. Just a bunch of flash in the pan has-beens who lost all of their titles; two of you to the same guy.
Long story short, I win the Rumble and the rest of you go to the back disappointed. Then what? I sit in the back and watch Mack and Raven duke it out to see who gets to drop the world title to me in a month? I don't know about you guys but that sounds very fucking boring to me. That match seems like it needs a big dash of Zybala to spice it up. So when I win the Rumble, I'm just gonna sit my ass in the ring and wait for them. That's right folks, Sins of the Father and The NWO aren't the only people pulling double duty at the pay-per-view. I'm taking my title shot and cashing it in immediately!
Now I know Deana will throw a fit and tell me I can't do this. She'll say that my title match is for the NEXT ppv. She will repeat her warning to me about interfering with Legacy business. Well shit, boss lady. How can I not interfere when you keep trying to pile all the gold into your pet project? I'm one of your biggest draws and you want to relegate me to the Television division? Yes, I can boost that title the same way I did for the X-Division belt, but I can only go so long without going for the world title. I've done everything you and your family have asked of me. I even laid down for Warthog for you. Then you screwed me out of the N.A. title. So I'm done playing ball. I'm gonna do what I do best, fuck shit up, and win gold.
I can hear you now. "You just fought in the Righteous Rumble. You're exhausted. Just rest up for next month." Nah. Fuck that. I'd rather Mack and Raven. I got no problem with Raven, but I do have issues with Warstein and Mz. Barrows, so if beating Raven can fuck with them, so be it. After all, wasn't I the first wrestler out on the stage after Raven said nobody wanted to step up to him? Sure, I was there wheeling Ace out, but I was still the first one to answer the call. I don't care if he calls himself "The G.O.A.T." or any of that shit. He only thinks he's the best because he hasn't had to face me.
Then there's Mack. I have no problem with Mack. Did you know Mack was actually my first title match back in OCW? It was when he was the Paradigm champion. I still feel that I would have won that match if some makeup wearing clown wasn't the special ref who chokeslammed me to help Mack. So in a way, this is my chance to get a small measure of revenge. I know Mack didn't plan for that match to finish that way, but still. He took advantage of it, as would I have if the roll was reversed. But still, we didn't have a fair ending and I wish to rectify that.
Ace went to a lot of trouble to not only set up this Rumble, but also get Mack out of jail. Now I'm not trying to get Mack incarcerated again, but if winning the world title means Mack has to go, so be it. I don't hate the guy, I just like winning a lot more. I'm sure he would understand and do the same thing. He knows what this business is all about. We don't go home with each other. Our problems are exactly that, OUR problems. Mack and Raven have a huge problem on Sunday and it isn't each other. It's gonna be me.
Because everyone in the Rumble is gonna talk about how they beat 29 other people in one night to get a title shot. Those fools aren't dreaming big enough. You see, I'M going to beat THIRTY ONE people in one night to become the new GCWA World champion! I will be cashing in my title shot Sunday and take out Mack and Raven. If I can get in the Rumble at the right time, I can take out every member of The Legacy in one night! Wouldn't that be fun? That would prove to everyone who the TRUE dominant force in GCWA is! And if any Barrows has an issue with that, they better hire every security guard they can to drag me away from the ring. Otherwise, the last shot of the show will be Mike Zybala holding the world title high over his head!
Zybala: Amateurs!! All of you! You had one job! One of you was supposed to win the Righteous Rumble and you all failed!! You even had the ladies in there helping you!!
"Hart": To be fair, there were twenty four other people trying to win.
Zybala: I don't care! That only means each of you had to eliminate five people a piece! How hard is that? You're The Legacy dammit! Hell, all of you were in the ring at the same time! You should have ran that shit!
"Jackson": Cunt cunt cunt, cuntcunt, cunt cunt.
Zybala: I saw that. But the Five of you should have been able to lift Bifford's fat ass out of the ring!
"Warstein": We almost got him out, but by then Deathbringer got to the ring and helped him.
Zybala: Deathbringer?! You're telling me that that LARPing nerd was able to turn the tide against the guys that took out Raging Dead and that piece of shit group, The A-List?!
"Jackson": Cunt!
Zybala: I don't care that he sat on Biff's lap to make them heavier. The FIVE of you couldn't pull them apart and throw them about before the next loser showed up.
"Hart": That "loser" was Thunderkn…
Zybala: You don't deserve to say that name! You let fucking THUNDERKNUCKLES of all people throw you out Jackson!
: "Warstein" starts chuckling at this. Zybala whips his head in his direction. :
Zybala: You better not be laughing at that, Shawn. You let Zybala of a people throw you out! That's worse than Knuckles! You already beat Zybala before. He should have been easy picking for you.
: "Warstein" gets to his feet and gets in Zybala/"Raven's" face. He glares at the "leader" with anger. :
"Warstein": Look, you weren't in there. You didn't have to deal with him. There was something different about him tonight. He was like a man possessed. He was more vicious than he was when I faced him last time. He threw out like seven people on his own, including heavy hitters like Terry Marshall and Enforcer..
"Hart": And you..
"Warstein": Hey, fuck you man. You got thrown out by Houston. I'm just saying, something was not normal about Zybala tonight. Plus, what he did to poor Amelia….
"Jackson": Cunt cunt cunt.
"Hart": You're right. He went way too far. I mean, we were all annoyed that she brought her checkbook to the ring to bribe us all to leave. I was surprised that Biff and Puffer took the million, but Zybala didn't have to do that…
"Warstein": To take the checkbook, fold it in half, and to literally shove it up her ass in front of the crowd….
: All the men shudder at reliving the horrific memory. Zybala glares angrily at the group again. :
Zybala: And that's the lunatic that you idiots let win the Rumble! Now he gets a shot at the title that was totally gifted to me. I'm seriously considering throwing my match against Mack so I don't have to face Zybala! You guys have caused The Legacy to eventually have no more titles!
"Warstein": Hold up. I'm still the North American champion. We still have a title.
Zybala: Pfft! Zybala is gunning for your belt too. The next time he'll find a way around Deana helping you. Especially with Ace back in the picture. What use are you idiots in protecting the title that I never won if you can't stop one man in a Rumble?
"Jackson": Cunt!
Zybala: I wouldn't have to try to stop Zybala if you fuckers did your job right! You three plus the girls gave us a better chance of winning than anyone else! Yet you still managed to fuck it all up and let Zybala win!
"Hart": Shouldn't you be worrying about Mack?
Zybala: How can I when Zybala is looking right around the corner!?!l You know what? I'm just gonna tell Mack that I'm going to let him win. I hope you useless fuckers are happy. You just made The Legacy look like losers!!
: Zybala storms out of the locker room, slamming the door behind him. He makes his way through the halls for a while before running into…. Jason Statham! The celebrity is wearing a Mack O'Connor shirt. How the hell did Zybala convince the superstar to do this?! The two men stare at each other before "Mack" breaks the silence. :
"Mack": Look Raven. Normally I wouldn't mind kicking your ass and getting my title back, but that was before Zybala won the Rumble. So here's what's gonna happen. We go out there, put on a good show, and I lay down for you.
Zybala: I was gonna make you the same offer. I don't wanna fight that maniac. I don't want stuff shoved up my ass.
Mack: Neither do I! I'd rather go back to jail than face Mike. I feel I have less of a chance of keeping my backside "Exit Only" in jail than I do facing him. Who does that to a fellow wrestler?!
Zybala: To be fair, Amelia isn't that much of a wrestler. I get what you're saying though. I feel like you have a better chance of fending off Zybala than I do. So you win the match.
Mack: Fuck that, I'm safer in jail. YOU win the match!
: The two men start shoving each other which breaks into a very staged, Hollywood-esq fight. Security runs over to break up the "fight" as the scene fades to black… :
I know. It's a little too much, right? I thought I was a little heavy handed on the parodies, but it's so hard to find good actors during a pandemic. Except Statham. That guy has the immune system of a god. He doesn't fear anything. Plus he owed me a favor. Though I see good things in the future of the guy who played Noah Jackson. He played his character perfectly. I thought I was looking at the real Noah. Regardless of who played what, I think it was an accurate depiction of what The Legacy locker room is gonna look like on Sunday.
Can I really foresee the future? Not at all. I don't know if ThunderTwat will eliminate Jackson and I'm pretty sure I won't really shove a checkbook up anyone's ass. We might see Sara Cross eliminate Bifford for all I know. I can't tell you what is going to happen in the Righteous Rumble, save for one thing. Yours truly is gonna be the last dude standing. The bodies of the eliminated ones will litter the floor surrounding the ring as they all sit there and stare up at me with hatred and envy in their eyes.
I know that getting the win will be hard. There are plenty of great wrestlers and teams in this that will make my win almost impossible. Almost being the key word. I'm no fool, I expect that The Legacy will be the greatest threat in the Rumble. They will stop at nothing to win and make sure the world title stays in their little group. But how long will that teamwork last? Sure, a Legacy win is a win for them all, but only ONE can win. I know they all wanna prove something, especially that second rate champ Warstein. Always being reminded that he's the silver medal of the group being the North American champion. I know that he would love to win the Rumble to get a shot at Raven to prove he's not just second best. Don't worry Shawn, there is no second best in The Righteous Rumble. It's just a list of losers who couldn't compete with me. Eventually, you won't even be second in The Legacy after I win back my North American title. Then you all can be the same. Just a bunch of flash in the pan has-beens who lost all of their titles; two of you to the same guy.
Long story short, I win the Rumble and the rest of you go to the back disappointed. Then what? I sit in the back and watch Mack and Raven duke it out to see who gets to drop the world title to me in a month? I don't know about you guys but that sounds very fucking boring to me. That match seems like it needs a big dash of Zybala to spice it up. So when I win the Rumble, I'm just gonna sit my ass in the ring and wait for them. That's right folks, Sins of the Father and The NWO aren't the only people pulling double duty at the pay-per-view. I'm taking my title shot and cashing it in immediately!
Now I know Deana will throw a fit and tell me I can't do this. She'll say that my title match is for the NEXT ppv. She will repeat her warning to me about interfering with Legacy business. Well shit, boss lady. How can I not interfere when you keep trying to pile all the gold into your pet project? I'm one of your biggest draws and you want to relegate me to the Television division? Yes, I can boost that title the same way I did for the X-Division belt, but I can only go so long without going for the world title. I've done everything you and your family have asked of me. I even laid down for Warthog for you. Then you screwed me out of the N.A. title. So I'm done playing ball. I'm gonna do what I do best, fuck shit up, and win gold.
I can hear you now. "You just fought in the Righteous Rumble. You're exhausted. Just rest up for next month." Nah. Fuck that. I'd rather Mack and Raven. I got no problem with Raven, but I do have issues with Warstein and Mz. Barrows, so if beating Raven can fuck with them, so be it. After all, wasn't I the first wrestler out on the stage after Raven said nobody wanted to step up to him? Sure, I was there wheeling Ace out, but I was still the first one to answer the call. I don't care if he calls himself "The G.O.A.T." or any of that shit. He only thinks he's the best because he hasn't had to face me.
Then there's Mack. I have no problem with Mack. Did you know Mack was actually my first title match back in OCW? It was when he was the Paradigm champion. I still feel that I would have won that match if some makeup wearing clown wasn't the special ref who chokeslammed me to help Mack. So in a way, this is my chance to get a small measure of revenge. I know Mack didn't plan for that match to finish that way, but still. He took advantage of it, as would I have if the roll was reversed. But still, we didn't have a fair ending and I wish to rectify that.
Ace went to a lot of trouble to not only set up this Rumble, but also get Mack out of jail. Now I'm not trying to get Mack incarcerated again, but if winning the world title means Mack has to go, so be it. I don't hate the guy, I just like winning a lot more. I'm sure he would understand and do the same thing. He knows what this business is all about. We don't go home with each other. Our problems are exactly that, OUR problems. Mack and Raven have a huge problem on Sunday and it isn't each other. It's gonna be me.
Because everyone in the Rumble is gonna talk about how they beat 29 other people in one night to get a title shot. Those fools aren't dreaming big enough. You see, I'M going to beat THIRTY ONE people in one night to become the new GCWA World champion! I will be cashing in my title shot Sunday and take out Mack and Raven. If I can get in the Rumble at the right time, I can take out every member of The Legacy in one night! Wouldn't that be fun? That would prove to everyone who the TRUE dominant force in GCWA is! And if any Barrows has an issue with that, they better hire every security guard they can to drag me away from the ring. Otherwise, the last shot of the show will be Mike Zybala holding the world title high over his head!