Another Edition of the Zag Saga........ RR RP #2
Dec 17, 2020 12:35:25 GMT -6
Deana Barrows, Dylan Thomas, and 2 more like this
Post by PerZag on Dec 17, 2020 12:35:25 GMT -6
Now it’s time to resume the ultimate saga of sagas. And before you Legacy dipshits think it’s James Raven here……... well it’s not. This ultimate saga is of a more talented man. That is Sexier. That is just god-damned better in the sack. A man with a more immense dong than the Raven could ever imagine, and he is…….. PERZAG!
PS He also has a better head of hair than Mack O’Connor, but we all knew that.
So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome to…………
And for those who do not understand, specifically the three virgins of the GCWA:
This means that PerZag has spent a night with a WOMAN!
And that is where we resume, the day after the reestablishment of the Clarkson/Zag relationship. Or is it really reestablished?
The scene finally commences as PerZag walks out of the bedroom of Rhiannon Clarkson’s house, completely naked, over to an untidy pile of clothes. Obviously, the night may have started in the living room, but it certainly didn’t end there. Maybe it went around the entire house, but we won’t be showing you that video today. My apologies there, Alice, I knew you wanted to see it.
But as Zag struggles to put on his pair of pants, because no pair of pants in the entirety of the world is big enough to contain that massive member of his. But as he finally manages to squeeze into his pants, Rhiannon Clarkson walks into the room wearing nothing but a black tank top and a pair of blue short shorts.
“Are you sure that you have to leave now? Don’t you want to go one more round first?”
PerZag looks over at Rhiannon trying to smile, but just not able. He manages to put on his shirt as Rhiannon realises that something must be bothering him.
“Are you alright, Per?”
PerZag drops down to a seated position on the couch in front of him as he starts shaking his head. Rhiannon sits down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently.
“What’s wrong, darl?”
PerZag turns his head, looking straight into Rhiannon’s beautiful blue eyes.
“Rhi, do you think we can ever go back to the way things were?”
Rhiannon takes a moment, taking in a deep breath.
“I don’t know, Per.”
PerZag turns his head away from her, looking down at the plain white carpet below his feet.
“I mean, I still care about you, Per, but with what happened to Tommy, and with my sister being as broken as she is, and with you doing absolutely everything in your power to find him, I’m just so puzzled. I don’t know where my heart begins and where my mind ends. I’m not sure if I care about the man you are now or the man you were before. I don’t know whether I’m happy about your commitment to finding Tommy or whether I’m still upset about you losing him.”
Rhiannon drops her head down as well, staring at the carpet as well.
“It’s just that all these emotions are running rampant, and I don’t know what to do or think anymore.”
They both sit there in silence, staring at the carpet beneath them. PerZag reaches out, grabbing Rhiannon’s hand with his and she takes it. They sit a little longer in silence, hand-in-hand, before PerZag finally speaks.
“I’m sorry Rhi, I’ve got to get going, I need to be in Kansas City as early as possible so that I can prepare for………..”
PerZag’s sentence is cut off as Rhiannon starts kissing him. She releases the kiss after only a few moments, before moving her face away from his to get a better look at him.
“It’s fine, Per, I know you have a big show this week, and I’ll be watching closely. Just win that Rumble for me.”
PerZag smiles at her as he stands up from the couch, and starts walking towards the front door. He opens it up, looking back at her.
“I’ll do my best, Rhi. And I’ll do it all for you.”
PerZag walks through the passage of the front door, shutting it behind him walking out into the beautiful sunshine of another beautiful bright day. PerZag walks to the limousine that is still parked out the front of the house, and knocks on the window of the driver’s door, yelling at the chauffeur inside.
“KENNY! YOU CAN WAKE UP NOW!”
Kenny stirs awake, staring up at PerZag from inside the car.
“Zag, buddy,” Kenny states as he opens up his car door. “I guess things worked out better than you expected.”
“They sure did, Kenny, but I can’t talk about it right now. We should probably get going. We cannot miss booking in for our hotel tomorrow. So, you good to go?”
“Sure thing, Zag, but first I need to give you something.”
Kenny reaches back into the driver’s seat of the limousine, bringing out a book. He hands the book over to Zag as Zag takes it.
“What’s this?”
“I’m not sure, Zag. It was on the bonnet when I woke up during the night. It says it was addressed to you.”
“Alright, well I guess I’ll take a look.”
PerZag walks off down to the other end of the limousine, Kenny following. Kenny opens up the back door, allowing PerZag to climb inside. Kenny shuts the door behind him again like a good chauffeur would, before going back to the front of the limousine and preparing for departure. PerZag stares at the book in his hand as the limousine starts rolling. He opens it up as a piece of paper falls out, but PerZag doesn’t notice it. He is too fixated on the book in his hand to catch it, as he starts reading it aloud.
“Promos for Dummies.
Alright, I may as well check it out. Maybe I can find the perfect promo in here.”
PerZag starts shifting through the pages as he continues to talk aloud.
“Try a talk show………. Well, I’ve already tried that………….. Um, try an imaginative land. Already tried that one too………….... Hmm, what’s this? Music parody. Well, I have never thought of doing anything like that before, but maybe I can give it a shot.”
“I’m too Sexy for this Rumble.
Too Sexy for this Rumble.
This Rumble will be mine…..”
The opening tune to ‘I’m Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred begins to play as the PerZag parody song begins. PerZag dances around in a wrestling ring singing along to the music as it continues.
“I’m too sexy for Big Bifford.
Too sexy for Ed Houston.
Too sexy for Zybalaaaaaa.
And I’m too sexy for Shawn Warstein.
Too sexy for Jack Puffer.
Too sexy for Alice Kniiiiiiiiiiiight.
I’m too sexy for Dave Branson.
Too sexy for Enforcer
Too sexy for Jackson Haaaaaaaart.
Cause I’m PerZag, and I’m the Sexiest
And I’ll shake my Greatest Ass for the ladies.
Yeah, for the ladies.
For the ladies, yeah.
And I’ll shake my Greatest Ass for the ladies.”
The scene cuts back to the limousine as PerZag stares at the camera that is focussed on him. He starts shaking his head.
“THAT………...WAS………….FUCKING…………..TERRIBLE………”
PerZag turns his attention back to the Promos for Dummies book.
“Okay, hopefully, there is something better in this book than that piece of shit.”
PerZag starts sifting through the pages before stopping on a page that seems to get his attention.
“Hmmm, what about this one? Try using someone else’s gimmick against them.”
PerZag thinks for a few moments.
“Well I used Peter Vaughn’s Janitor gimmick as well as Ed Houston’s space gimmick against them when I beat them, so that may work. Hmm, who should I try?”
PerZag thinks for a few more moments before clicking his thumb.
“I know, I’ll do a sex change like Micheal Graves.
Alrighty, then. Sex change in three……...two……….one……...”
PerZag snaps his fingers as he sex changes into……………..
PerZag looks down at his new appearance.
“Hmm, cool, boobs are excellent, the body is incredible, but, yeah, Nah, I like being a guy………………
PerZag snaps his fingers again………………
“Hmm, this is not quite right, looks good, but is not quite the right look for the ‘Sexiest Man In Wrestling’.”
PerZag snaps his fingers again.
“Ugh, oh god no………. No no no no no no no no no no, I cannot look like that uggo. God, Noah Jackson really is disturbing.”
PerZag clicks his fingers once more and……………….
“Phew, this looks so much better. Alright, that’s it. This book officially sucks. Who the fuck wrote this?”
PerZag starts sifting through the Book for Dummies.
“Alright, here it is. Written by………..”
PerZag sighs heavily, looking straight into the camera.
“Chad Fucking Vargas. Have you got to be fucking kidding me? No wonder I’m having no success.”
PerZag presses the button for the window to come down before tossing the book out of the limousine. He pushes for the window to come back up as he shakes his head.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I wasted precious promo time on that shit. Fucking Vargas and his shitty promo ideas. What the fuck am I going to do now?”
PerZag looks around the limousine, finally spotting the piece of paper that had fallen out of the book earlier. PerZag reaches over, picking the paper up and starts reading it.
“PerZag. Call this number. FS.”
PerZag starts looking around the limousine with a puzzled look on his face.
“Who the fuck is FS?”
Upon realising what FS represents, PerZag pulls his mobile phone out of his pocket and quickly dials the number on the piece of paper. He puts the phone up to his ear as it rings until someone answers.
“Detective Smithstone. Is that you?”
Suddenly a massive crash is heard as the camera footage becomes distorted, and everything goes to black. But in an instant, everything returns to blinding light as we try to see through the white light that now absorbs the screen—a voice echoes.
“PerZag………….. PerZag……….. PerZag……….”
And then the sound of PerZag’s voice is heard.
“God………, is that you?”
“It is my son.”
“Wait, am I your son?”
“Yes and no. You are all my children, but you are also all, not my children. My only two children in the universe are Jesus and Zybala, but he’s a disappointment. But you, my dear Zag, are my favourite of all the other children out there.”
“Okay……. Why?”
“That is not for me to reveal now. We only have a brief time here before you have to return, so allow me to help you with your issue.”
“What issue?”
“Your issue with finding the ultimate promo.”
“Wait, you have the answer.”
“I’m afraid not. Because there is no ultimate promo. But there is the ultimate endorsement.”
“What do you mean, God?”
“I mean me, my dear Zag. I will be your ultimate endorsement.”
“Are you sure, God? Are you sure I’m the right man for this?
“You are, my son. Now go and win that Rumble and be crowned the Righteous King.”
“I will, God. I will.”
The bright light fades to black again. Then the black slowly opens back up like a pair of eyelids as it looks upon a horrible crash. The limousine is crushed in half as a truck has crashed through it into a brick wall. PerZag stands on the sidewalk twenty metres away from the crash, staring at it. He turns around and looks at Kenny, who is in shock.
“Don’t know how, don’t know why, Kenny, but somehow we made it out of that wreckage in one piece. You still want to go to Kansas City.”
Kenny starts nodding his head.
“Yes, but can we take a plane.”
“We sure can, Kenny.”
PerZag and Kenny walk off from the wreckage as the camera starts to zoom in on something in the street. It zooms in on PerZag’s phone, as a voice can be heard.
“PerZag. It’s FS here. I’ve found Tommy. Hello. You there, Zag? You there?”
And the scene fades out.
The ultimate endorsement. That’s what I truly needed. Dr Phil helped endorse me to my success at Ultimate Survival. Toothless helped support my win over Tony Savage. And now I have the endorsement of God himself. Puffer, Robert Main, sweet, sweet Granger, Thunder Knuckles, none of them have an endorsement this great.
And with the big man behind me, I have all the confidence in the world that I can outlast everybody and win that Righteous Rumble. And then I can go on to defeat James Raven or Mack O’Connor and fulfil my rightful place as GCWA World Champion.
These 29 other competitors are going to be in for a real show. And not just a Sexy show. But a showing of dominance.
Legacy, Sins of the Fathers, The Insignificant Seven, nobody is going to step in my way. The Zagster is here for the win.
And I am going to be damn SEXY as I do it.
OOC: Word Count is 2195 according to my Google Docs, so it should be under the 250 word buffer again. And damn, I enjoyed writing this one. It may not get the job done, but it was so much fun. Thanks for having me for this Rumble, cause I solemnly enjoyed writing these two RP's.
PS He also has a better head of hair than Mack O’Connor, but we all knew that.
So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome to…………
The Day After……..
The Big Bifford
Jack Puffer
Noah Jackson
This means that PerZag has spent a night with a WOMAN!
And that is where we resume, the day after the reestablishment of the Clarkson/Zag relationship. Or is it really reestablished?
The scene finally commences as PerZag walks out of the bedroom of Rhiannon Clarkson’s house, completely naked, over to an untidy pile of clothes. Obviously, the night may have started in the living room, but it certainly didn’t end there. Maybe it went around the entire house, but we won’t be showing you that video today. My apologies there, Alice, I knew you wanted to see it.
But as Zag struggles to put on his pair of pants, because no pair of pants in the entirety of the world is big enough to contain that massive member of his. But as he finally manages to squeeze into his pants, Rhiannon Clarkson walks into the room wearing nothing but a black tank top and a pair of blue short shorts.
“Are you sure that you have to leave now? Don’t you want to go one more round first?”
PerZag looks over at Rhiannon trying to smile, but just not able. He manages to put on his shirt as Rhiannon realises that something must be bothering him.
“Are you alright, Per?”
PerZag drops down to a seated position on the couch in front of him as he starts shaking his head. Rhiannon sits down next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it gently.
“What’s wrong, darl?”
PerZag turns his head, looking straight into Rhiannon’s beautiful blue eyes.
“Rhi, do you think we can ever go back to the way things were?”
Rhiannon takes a moment, taking in a deep breath.
“I don’t know, Per.”
PerZag turns his head away from her, looking down at the plain white carpet below his feet.
“I mean, I still care about you, Per, but with what happened to Tommy, and with my sister being as broken as she is, and with you doing absolutely everything in your power to find him, I’m just so puzzled. I don’t know where my heart begins and where my mind ends. I’m not sure if I care about the man you are now or the man you were before. I don’t know whether I’m happy about your commitment to finding Tommy or whether I’m still upset about you losing him.”
Rhiannon drops her head down as well, staring at the carpet as well.
“It’s just that all these emotions are running rampant, and I don’t know what to do or think anymore.”
They both sit there in silence, staring at the carpet beneath them. PerZag reaches out, grabbing Rhiannon’s hand with his and she takes it. They sit a little longer in silence, hand-in-hand, before PerZag finally speaks.
“I’m sorry Rhi, I’ve got to get going, I need to be in Kansas City as early as possible so that I can prepare for………..”
PerZag’s sentence is cut off as Rhiannon starts kissing him. She releases the kiss after only a few moments, before moving her face away from his to get a better look at him.
“It’s fine, Per, I know you have a big show this week, and I’ll be watching closely. Just win that Rumble for me.”
PerZag smiles at her as he stands up from the couch, and starts walking towards the front door. He opens it up, looking back at her.
“I’ll do my best, Rhi. And I’ll do it all for you.”
PerZag walks through the passage of the front door, shutting it behind him walking out into the beautiful sunshine of another beautiful bright day. PerZag walks to the limousine that is still parked out the front of the house, and knocks on the window of the driver’s door, yelling at the chauffeur inside.
“KENNY! YOU CAN WAKE UP NOW!”
Kenny stirs awake, staring up at PerZag from inside the car.
“Zag, buddy,” Kenny states as he opens up his car door. “I guess things worked out better than you expected.”
“They sure did, Kenny, but I can’t talk about it right now. We should probably get going. We cannot miss booking in for our hotel tomorrow. So, you good to go?”
“Sure thing, Zag, but first I need to give you something.”
Kenny reaches back into the driver’s seat of the limousine, bringing out a book. He hands the book over to Zag as Zag takes it.
“What’s this?”
“I’m not sure, Zag. It was on the bonnet when I woke up during the night. It says it was addressed to you.”
“Alright, well I guess I’ll take a look.”
PerZag walks off down to the other end of the limousine, Kenny following. Kenny opens up the back door, allowing PerZag to climb inside. Kenny shuts the door behind him again like a good chauffeur would, before going back to the front of the limousine and preparing for departure. PerZag stares at the book in his hand as the limousine starts rolling. He opens it up as a piece of paper falls out, but PerZag doesn’t notice it. He is too fixated on the book in his hand to catch it, as he starts reading it aloud.
“Promos for Dummies.
Alright, I may as well check it out. Maybe I can find the perfect promo in here.”
PerZag starts shifting through the pages as he continues to talk aloud.
“Try a talk show………. Well, I’ve already tried that………….. Um, try an imaginative land. Already tried that one too………….... Hmm, what’s this? Music parody. Well, I have never thought of doing anything like that before, but maybe I can give it a shot.”
PerZag’s Music Parody
Too Sexy for this Rumble.
This Rumble will be mine…..”
The opening tune to ‘I’m Too Sexy’ by Right Said Fred begins to play as the PerZag parody song begins. PerZag dances around in a wrestling ring singing along to the music as it continues.
“I’m too sexy for Big Bifford.
Too sexy for Ed Houston.
Too sexy for Zybalaaaaaa.
And I’m too sexy for Shawn Warstein.
Too sexy for Jack Puffer.
Too sexy for Alice Kniiiiiiiiiiiight.
I’m too sexy for Dave Branson.
Too sexy for Enforcer
Too sexy for Jackson Haaaaaaaart.
Cause I’m PerZag, and I’m the Sexiest
And I’ll shake my Greatest Ass for the ladies.
Yeah, for the ladies.
For the ladies, yeah.
And I’ll shake my Greatest Ass for the ladies.”
The scene cuts back to the limousine as PerZag stares at the camera that is focussed on him. He starts shaking his head.
“THAT………...WAS………….FUCKING…………..TERRIBLE………”
PerZag turns his attention back to the Promos for Dummies book.
“Okay, hopefully, there is something better in this book than that piece of shit.”
PerZag starts sifting through the pages before stopping on a page that seems to get his attention.
“Hmmm, what about this one? Try using someone else’s gimmick against them.”
PerZag thinks for a few moments.
“Well I used Peter Vaughn’s Janitor gimmick as well as Ed Houston’s space gimmick against them when I beat them, so that may work. Hmm, who should I try?”
PerZag thinks for a few more moments before clicking his thumb.
“I know, I’ll do a sex change like Micheal Graves.
Alrighty, then. Sex change in three……...two……….one……...”
PerZag snaps his fingers as he sex changes into……………..
PerZag looks down at his new appearance.
“Hmm, cool, boobs are excellent, the body is incredible, but, yeah, Nah, I like being a guy………………
PerZag snaps his fingers again………………
“Hmm, this is not quite right, looks good, but is not quite the right look for the ‘Sexiest Man In Wrestling’.”
PerZag snaps his fingers again.
“Ugh, oh god no………. No no no no no no no no no no, I cannot look like that uggo. God, Noah Jackson really is disturbing.”
PerZag clicks his fingers once more and……………….
“Phew, this looks so much better. Alright, that’s it. This book officially sucks. Who the fuck wrote this?”
PerZag starts sifting through the Book for Dummies.
“Alright, here it is. Written by………..”
PerZag sighs heavily, looking straight into the camera.
“Chad Fucking Vargas. Have you got to be fucking kidding me? No wonder I’m having no success.”
PerZag presses the button for the window to come down before tossing the book out of the limousine. He pushes for the window to come back up as he shakes his head.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do now? I wasted precious promo time on that shit. Fucking Vargas and his shitty promo ideas. What the fuck am I going to do now?”
PerZag looks around the limousine, finally spotting the piece of paper that had fallen out of the book earlier. PerZag reaches over, picking the paper up and starts reading it.
“PerZag. Call this number. FS.”
PerZag starts looking around the limousine with a puzzled look on his face.
“Who the fuck is FS?”
Upon realising what FS represents, PerZag pulls his mobile phone out of his pocket and quickly dials the number on the piece of paper. He puts the phone up to his ear as it rings until someone answers.
“Detective Smithstone. Is that you?”
Suddenly a massive crash is heard as the camera footage becomes distorted, and everything goes to black. But in an instant, everything returns to blinding light as we try to see through the white light that now absorbs the screen—a voice echoes.
“PerZag………….. PerZag……….. PerZag……….”
And then the sound of PerZag’s voice is heard.
“God………, is that you?”
“It is my son.”
“Wait, am I your son?”
“Yes and no. You are all my children, but you are also all, not my children. My only two children in the universe are Jesus and Zybala, but he’s a disappointment. But you, my dear Zag, are my favourite of all the other children out there.”
“Okay……. Why?”
“That is not for me to reveal now. We only have a brief time here before you have to return, so allow me to help you with your issue.”
“What issue?”
“Your issue with finding the ultimate promo.”
“Wait, you have the answer.”
“I’m afraid not. Because there is no ultimate promo. But there is the ultimate endorsement.”
“What do you mean, God?”
“I mean me, my dear Zag. I will be your ultimate endorsement.”
“Are you sure, God? Are you sure I’m the right man for this?
“You are, my son. Now go and win that Rumble and be crowned the Righteous King.”
“I will, God. I will.”
The bright light fades to black again. Then the black slowly opens back up like a pair of eyelids as it looks upon a horrible crash. The limousine is crushed in half as a truck has crashed through it into a brick wall. PerZag stands on the sidewalk twenty metres away from the crash, staring at it. He turns around and looks at Kenny, who is in shock.
“Don’t know how, don’t know why, Kenny, but somehow we made it out of that wreckage in one piece. You still want to go to Kansas City.”
Kenny starts nodding his head.
“Yes, but can we take a plane.”
“We sure can, Kenny.”
PerZag and Kenny walk off from the wreckage as the camera starts to zoom in on something in the street. It zooms in on PerZag’s phone, as a voice can be heard.
“PerZag. It’s FS here. I’ve found Tommy. Hello. You there, Zag? You there?”
And the scene fades out.
The ultimate endorsement. That’s what I truly needed. Dr Phil helped endorse me to my success at Ultimate Survival. Toothless helped support my win over Tony Savage. And now I have the endorsement of God himself. Puffer, Robert Main, sweet, sweet Granger, Thunder Knuckles, none of them have an endorsement this great.
And with the big man behind me, I have all the confidence in the world that I can outlast everybody and win that Righteous Rumble. And then I can go on to defeat James Raven or Mack O’Connor and fulfil my rightful place as GCWA World Champion.
These 29 other competitors are going to be in for a real show. And not just a Sexy show. But a showing of dominance.
Legacy, Sins of the Fathers, The Insignificant Seven, nobody is going to step in my way. The Zagster is here for the win.
And I am going to be damn SEXY as I do it.
OOC: Word Count is 2195 according to my Google Docs, so it should be under the 250 word buffer again. And damn, I enjoyed writing this one. It may not get the job done, but it was so much fun. Thanks for having me for this Rumble, cause I solemnly enjoyed writing these two RP's.
