Thunder Scrooged Part 2

Post by SportsEntertainmentXpress on Dec 17, 2020 15:06:57 GMT -6

The following announcement has been paid for by the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.

Static pulses and gives way to Terry Marshall looking at a toy GCWA ring full of action figures.

Look at all these little playthings thinking they are the righteous one, but let me tell ya, Jack, none of those jaybrones are worthy to face whoever the champion is, but there is one among those thirty, and he is oh so sweet… TOO SWEET!

Marshall tosses Enforcer into the trash.

Stay where you belong in the lower card picture you trash.

Who is this goof?

Marshall tosses Valis Deathbringer over his shoulder and Dark Lord smacks the figure in midair with his lightsaber. Marshall picks up Biffard

When I look at this mass of humanity, all I can think about is body slamming him. Showing the GCWA what the largest arms in wrestling can do when they lift the largest ass in wrestling and slam it over the top rope.

Marshall slams the Biffard figure down and hits a front double bicep pose. He picks up the SOTF figures.

If you two can even make it to the rumble after the hell you go through against Madness and Dark Lord, then you can count that as a moral victory. And a moral victory is the only victory you’ll have Sunday, because you aren’t winning those tag team titles, and you aren’t winning the rumble. I’ll throw both of you over the top at the same time.

Marshall tosses the SOTF figures past the camera. Next, Noah Jackson

Is this guy mentally handicapped? He must be if he thinks he’s going to win this rumble. But seriously, did his parents ever have him tested? I think he’s autistic. Warstein, get your boy tested. Speaking or mentally handicapped.

Marshall picks up a Raging Dead and Thunder Knuckles figures. He looks at them and shakes his head and then throws them all in the trash as well.

Brother, there ain’t a single person in this rumble that is going to stop Too Sweet Terry Marshall from punching his ticket to a world championship match. Everyone is looking past me brother, but let me tell ya Jack I am proven in this sport, and I’m not going to be stopped. I made it to the semifinals of Warriors of the Ring with one arm, and if I had both these big anacondas working, I’d have Thunderstruck my way through the whole tournament just like I am going to do through this whole rumble.

Marshall delivers Thunderstruck to the ring sending the remaining figures flying.

I’m on a mission dude, and as the NWO has proven over and over again, we don’t stop until the mission is complete. We set our minds to something and we do it. A-List, we took them out in an all-out war. The tag team titles, now bare the mark of the NOW, and they will for life. Now, dude, we are coming for that world championship, and I got no problem walking through twenty-nine other people to do it. And I got no problem drawing twenty-nine penises on foreheads with a sharpie while I do it, Jack.

Cut to a shot of Marcus Ka'Derrion with a penis drawn on his head. Cut back to Marshall holding a sharpie with Dark Lord and Madness to either side of him holding the tag team titles with “NWO” written on them.

Raven or Mack, blondie or baldie, prison bitch or inmate, I don’t care who has the championship after Sunday, because they are just keeping it warm for me until January. Too Sweet Terry Marshall will soon be the righteous one, and then I will become the world champion, and the NEW WORLD ORDER OF THE GCWA WILL BEGIN!

And that will make the GCWA…TOO SWEET!

Marshall, Dark Lord, and Madness all raised their hand for a “too sweet” as static pulses over the screen again.

Now, on with the show.

Marshall looks at Hotcakes confused and then looks around at the slum area he sits in. Marshall looks at the run-down building behind him and then back to Hotcakes.

Brother, where are we? And, when are we?

Hotcakes props one leg up on the step beside Marshall and leans in, getting his crotch uncomfortably to Marshall.

This is Sister Teresa’s Home for Wayward Sidekicks and B-List characters, and the time is now-ish.

Now-ish?

Give or take a few days.

Why am I here?

I’ll show you. By the way, you are looking a little shaggy, want me to take a little off the top?

Marshall looks annoyed with Hotcakes; he knows damn well Marshall is bald. Hotcakes smiles and gives a little laugh.

Sorry, a little barber humor there. Come on.

Hotcakes walks up the steps past Marshall, and Marshall follows behind as they enter the damp and dingy building. They make their way to a small room where Privates Pizza and Bug Girl, along with Sargent spot sit eating pizza, which came from Private Pizza, as his left arm is currently missing. The trio looks sad and unmotivated as they watch “Frosty the Snowman” on a tiny little TV in the room that is adorned with small cots that have scratchy wool blankets.

I miss Helmet.

I know Spot, I miss him too.

He loves Christmas so much, and he always spread such cheer.

Bug Girl looks to sadden even more as she sits her plate of Pizza’s index and middle finger down.

Brother, this isn’t right. They shouldn’t be in a place like this, they should be cruising the multi-galaxies and having epic adventures, they are the best B-List characters I’ve ever seen in a story.

I agree, but with no captain and no ship, they are stuck here.

What happened to the Warfpack?

Brother, you know spinoffs never last. Madness killed their leader, and they disbanded after their defeat.

That’s where Helmet…

Marshall falls silent, and his head lowers in a saddened shame.

Now, what is left of the original Desolator crew are stuck here on Earth with no real job skills. Plus, who is hiring a man-dog, a bug girl, or a living pizza?

Marshall shakes his head in disappointment.

It ain’t right brother, those are good people, they shouldn’t be living like this. Tell me, what has become of First Mate Kirk?

Do you mean William Shatner? He’s worth a hundred million dollars, he retired to his ranch in Kentucky.

Kentucky? Brother, he deserves better than to be forced to live there.

Hotcakes puts his arm around Marshall and says, “We all do”.

Let me show you some other people who deserve better too.

Hotcakes snaps some scissors in front of Marshall's face, causing Marshall to flinch and jump back. As Marshall goes backward he trips and falls and finds himself sitting in a toilet. Someone had left the seat up and Marshall has fallen right into the bowl of dirty water. Marshall looks around and sees he is sitting inside of a stall of a public restroom. He feels the wetness on his bottom and sees his toes in the air. Marshall looks down and is disgusted.

Eh, what’s that smell.

The door of the stall flies open as Hotcakes pulls it open and looks at Marshall.

DOOKIE!

AH GOD!

Marshall shoves his body out of the toilet where he is stuck and looks down at the filthy water and begins dry heaving. Marshall runs to the sink and turns both handles on full blast and then turns and sits in the sink washing the dookie off of his pants. Marshall moves to the hand dryer and begins using it to dry his bottom off, and over the jets of the dryer Marshall asks, “brother why are we in this bathroom?”.

For this.

Hotcakes pulls the door of the other stall in the bathroom open, and in the stall is Marshall's son Gideon, who is making out with an attractive young blonde lady.

Brother, this is awkward, shut the door.

They can’t see us brother.

Well, that’s my boy, and he got himself a looker.

The girl pulls Gideon’s jacket down off of his shoulders and grabs his shirt, but she stops as she looks down at his shirt.

What is that?

It’s an NWO shirt.

I know what it is, but why are you wearing it?

My dad’s in the NWO.

Your dad?

Yeah, “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall.

WHAT!?! YOUR DAD IS AN ASS!

No, he’s not.

He was my favorite wrestler, and my mom and dad’s favorite wrestler, he broke my family’s heart when he started that NWO crap. EW! I can’t believe I kissed the son of that jerk.

You know what, I got two words for you.

Don’t you dare.

STICK IT!

The girl slaps Gideon across the face and storms out of the bathroom of the bar. Gideon steps out of the stall, adjusting his jacket, and leans against the sink Marshall had just washed the dookie off his pants in.

Ah, buddy, I raised you better than that. I never thought my new dark lifestyle would rub off on you.

What we do echoes in eternity brother.

Did you just quote Gladiator?

Gideon looks at the handprint on his face in the mirror and sadness crawls across his face. Gideon sniffs and looks around the sink, “what is that smell?”, he says.

Marshall tries to put his arm around his son's shoulder but his hand goes right through him.

Ah damn it, I need to comfort my son and I’m a ghost. Come on brother.

No, you come one with me.

Brother no, I need to comfort my son.

It wasn’t a request.

With Marshall's back to Hotcakes, Hotcakes grabs a sleeper hold on Marshall. Marshall could normally fight out of this quite easily but as a ghost Hotcakes is extra strong and Marshall feels his eyelids shut as darkness consumes him.

Marshall's eyes blink slowly as he stares up at a dark cloudy sky. Marshall slowly sits up and rubs his neck, and what he sees takes his breath away. It is a tombstone with his name on it. The grave is freshly dug, and chairs are set up around it for a funeral but no one is there to morn.

Marshall sits beside his tombstone alone. A few small raindrops begin to fall, and one goes right in his eye. As Marshall blinks and clears his eye in the distance he hears crying, and he can see Heather dressed in all black approaching the grave. She looks older, but still beautiful, but what Marshall notices the most is that she isn’t wearing her wedding ring.

Thee w're div'rc'd in 2021.

Marshall turns to see a tall, dark, and ominous man standing behind him. The sight of the man sends chills up Marshall's spine.

Who are you?

I am the apparition of Christmas future, thee may has't known me by mine own physical nameth, Death L'rd

Marshall had heard stories about Death Lord from Dark Lord, but the stories of this monster didn’t do him justice. Marshall turns from this horrendous figure to the view of his wife. She stands over his grave crying.

Why Terry, why did you have to turn heel and embrace the dark side? Were those tag team titles worth it? Was the world title worth it? That darkness grew inside of you Terr,y and it ruined you. IT RUINED YOU! IT TOOK THE MAN I LOVED!

Heather falls on her knees crying and Terry tries to embrace her, but as his arms wrap around her, he disappears and is now sitting in a dirty living room that a bachelor obviously inhabits.

Take me back brother, she needs me.

Death Lord says nothing. A middle-aged, out of shape Gideon walks into the living room, looking as if he hadn’t showered in days and eating a bowl of cereal.

What happened to my boy?

The wench in the bathroom wast to beest his jointress, but h'r hate f'r thee did drive h'r hence and that gent nev'r hath found loveth.

My boy, no, his life wasn’t supposed to turn out like this. I ruined it, I ruined him. I ruined his life, I ruined Heather's life, I ruined everyone’s life.

Marshall falls to his knees and tears begin to fall.

I’m sorry… I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!

Marshall awakens sitting up on his couch, screaming “I’M SORRY!”. Marshall realizes he is back in his house; he looks at the wall and there is no car-shaped hole. Marshall grabs his phone off of the table and sees it is December 18th, two days before the rumble and a week before Christmas.

There’s still time.

Marshall runs out of the room shouting the catchphrase of every husband in a long-lasting relationship, “honey, I’m sorry, you're right”.

~Fin