Post by Shawn Warstein on Dec 17, 2020 23:06:47 GMT -6
Obligatory Fourth Wall Break:
Well here we fucking go again right? The same old story. Told over and over again. Some people just don’t realize that this isn’t going to end well for 29 other people…. Wait a second quick maths…
Carry the one….
Divide by pi….
Actually 26 people aren’t going to be happy with the outcome…. maybe 25.5 depending on if it’s Monday or not. The point being I’m going to be happy with one sixth of the people that could possibly win this thing.
They won’t.
I will.
Spoiler.
But it’s all part of the plan. And just like Hannibal says in the A-Team….
I love it when a plan comes together.
“Oi cunts!”
Noah bellows as he swings open the front door of the brownstone. I quickly raise my head up from the kitchen table and frantically look around dazed. A quick glance across the table leads to me seeing Jackson Hart with the same confused look on his face. Noah makes his way into the kitchen. He’s got a few folders under his arms and is wearing a Ghost Puncher pull over hoodie, and a few draped over his shoulder.
“Wake up you fucks.” Noah slams his fist down on the table. “We’ve got some serious stuff to talk about.”
“What are you going on about Noah?” Jackson says while rubbing the crust from his eyes.
“Some serious Legacy business.” Noah firmly says while tossing each of us a folder.
“Shouldn’t we wait for Raven?” I ask while sliding the folder away from myself. “It’s too early for this shit man.”
“It’s noon.” Noah said with a stern fatherly tone. “Plus Raven shouldn’t be abreast of what we are talking about.”
“Come on Noah, you know if it’s a Legacy thing it’s all four of us or nothing.” Jackson said while pointing towards the coffee pot. I quickly give him a nod and get up to get to make some cups.
“Under normal circumstances you’d be correct, but now things have changed.” Noah excitedly opens up the folder and slides an eight by ten glossy photo to Jackson. I hand Jackson his coffee and look at the picture.
“What the fuck Noah?” I said while snatching the photo from Jackson. “Why the hell do you have a picture of Betsy with crosshairs over her face?”
“It’s simple cunt.” He extends his hand outward towards the two of us. “James is distracted. We need to eliminate Betsy from the picture. She’s a weakness. Like how you got rid of Step Mum.”
“Noah, knock it off. We aren’t taking Betsy out.” I give Noah a quick slap in the back of the head. “Since she’s been around I’ve never seen him more focused, and remember I’ve known him longer.”
“Dad, we need to handle this with a delicate touch.” Noah makes a finger gun and pulls the imaginary trigger.
“We aren’t killing her.” Jackson finally pulls away from his coffee. “She’s basically one of us.”
“Right you are Jax.” I said as it continues to resonate in my head. “One of us.”
“Don’t stroke out on me dad. But I gets what you guys are saying. But we need to be absolutely sure she can hang with us.”Noah said with a glint in his eye.
“I’m afraid to ask….” Jackson sets his cup down and continues. “But what are you thinking?”
“Have you boys ever been to Uni?”
“American English Noah.” Jackson says while stretching his arms.
“College. Have you dumb cunts ever been to college?” Noah gets a huge grin across his face. “We are going to haze the fuck out of her, until she decides she doesn’t want to be around us anymore.”
“Jax…. what you think?”
“It’s not the worst idea he’s had.” Jackson said while taking a sip of his coffee.
“Fair Dinkum….” Noah checks his watch. “That’s great news, because she’s going to be here in a few minu….”
**Ding Dong**
Before Noah could finish his statement the doorbell echoed through the home. Jackson and I look up and quickly back to Noah, who gleefully runs towards the door.
“Hey Noah!” Betsy said once Noah fully opened the door, and was met by a devilishly wide smile.
“Welcome to the Thunderdome…won’t you please come in.” Noah extends his hand towards the interior of the home. Betsy smiles and walks into the home. The two of them walk in on Jackson and myself shuffling the folders aside.
“Whatcha fellas got there?” Betsy curiously asked.
“Uh—-Um…” Jackson struggles to get the words out, and I quickly pick up where he so obviously failed.
“Nothing. Just some Ghost Punchers stuff. Have a seat. Can I get you anything?” Betsy politely declines but sits down.
“So boys…. what’s up?”
Noah leans over the table and snaps his fingers. Then again.
“Hey cunt…. that’s when you kill the lights.” Noah barks at Jackson. Jax rolls his eyes as Noah once again snaps and he reluctantly flips the switch. “So Betsy you wanna hang around Legacy? Well the. Be prepared to be indoctrinated into our lifestyle.”
“What, you mean getting drunk, going to clubs, failing to get laid, and above all else make sure you guys stay on top?” Betsy said without missing a beat.
“Well yeah.” Jackson says as a matter of factly.
“But also…. It’s time to haze you. You wanna be here, you’ve gotta be able to handle all the shots we throw your way.” Noah sternly said.
“The only person taking shots here is you Noah.” Betsy politely reminded him.
“Whatever… you in or not.”
“You know it!” She exclaimed excitedly.
**~~**Scene Transition **~~**
Quickly Jax, Noah, Shawn and Betsy clanging shot glasses on a table in a packed bar. Shawn produces a bottle of amber liquid and pours more shots.
“Now Betsy, first part of your initiation….. see that stage over there?” Betsy squints her eyes and nods. “Well it just so happens for us that it’s open mic night…. I need five minutes of spoken word poetry.”
“Fine.” She stands up and is a bit wobbly, and steadies herself.
“Wait hold up…” I pull out a stack of note cards. “My words. No straying from what is written.” Betsy shakes her head and snatches the cards from my grasp. She quickly thumbs through them.
“Seriously Shawn?”
“As the heart attack everyone thinks is coming my way soon. Verbatim.” With the back of my hand I usher her towards the stage. Betsy takes a deep breath, flips her hair and stomps off towards the stage. Suddenly a voice from the PA system is heard.
“Now coming to the stage… The Amazing purpled’...”
Betsy cautiously walks up the two steps and stands behind the mic. A single spotlight shines upon her. The sound of her clearing her throat and then she begins.
“Why I will win the Righteous Rumble…. By Your North American Champion, Shawn Warstein.”
“See my ego, every win adds a tick.
even Alice Knight rode this dick.
All eyes are on me, as is usually the case.
But speaking on all of you, that’s a waste.
I wish I could be as ignorant like Cuck Chad.
But it’s not in my nature to pick on a 50’s fad.
I could call out the mountain of a man like Bifford.
But even at my worst, he’d still exclaim good lawd.
Shawn doesn’t fuck around. Shawn isn’t here for games,
But simply to put people down and show them they are truly lame.
And not sick in the least.
Shawn’s a beast.
In the ring.
In the sack.
I’m going to throw all of you flat on your back.
Over the top, but don’t call me Stallone.
I’m putting bodies in bags, in shallow Graves.
Yeah that’s a diss and sparkling little miss.
If you was on fire, I wouldn’t drown you in piss.
If you think for one second I’m about fail.
You’re Funnie-r than Doug, Quail.
Man
I’m like Jordan of the Ring you know I ball,
Amelia and Cartier feel free to give me a call.
I’m not saying this is going to be easy, or it’s not a test,
But when it comes to here, your fuckin with the best.
Some say it’s Raven, Noah or Jax Independently
But in this rumble it’s the forces of Legacy.
It’s a battalion thats going to take all of you to break,
We be the unbreakable group that ran the coup.
This is the last time, before I lose my mind
Fuck all of y’all in a singular line.
We have no fear, we are the danger,
Welcome to Legacy, Betsy Granger.”
The crowd doesn’t say a word, as Betsy just walks off of the stage and right back to our table.
“Next time give me a beat you asshole, and did you just use this as a promo?” Betsy questioned.
“One thing you need to know about dear old Dad here…” Noah places a hand on my shoulder and fans his hand across the sky. “Everything is possibly a promo with him.”
“Great. What’s next.”
Noah leans over and whispers in my ear. I laugh for a moment and then quickly nod.
“Back to the brownstone.” I said while standing up.
**~~**Sick Scene Transition**~~**
The four of us are standing outside the brownstone. Betsy begins to walk towards the door.
“Ah ah ah…” I say as she turns around.
“What? Are we not going inside?”
“Nope.” I point to the roof of the brownstone. “You wanna be in Legacy, you're going to need to climb to the roof and retrieve the object that I have personally placed up there. A treasure of untold wealth. Chop chop.”
Betsy slumps her shoulders, followed by a quick roll of them and surveys the exterior of the building. After a deep breath and pulling her hair into a ponytail she begins to climb.
“Isn’t it possible she’ll break her neck?” Jax said with a worried look over his face.
“Maybe, but also, maybe not.” Noah chimes in.
“She’ll be fine. It’s not like I could’ve trusted either of you with this. For fuck sake Noah, you took a money shot to the face. That’s enough hazing for you. And Jax, Noah and I got one over on you and Raven through a series of torturous death traps. Everyone needs to be hazed to get in now, and this is hers.”
“How were you hazed?”
“Well I have to deal with him.” I fire a thumb towards Noah.
“For now, he’s going to be my roomie.” Jax said while slinging his arm over Noah. “So again. What was your hazing?”
“I don’t know, I had to flirt with Lissie?” I shrug™.
“Please you’ll flirt with anyone, that’s just who you are.”
“Fair. Fine uhh…. I guess my hazing would be….. wait one fucking second. Is she already on the roof?” Looking up and pointing, we all see Betsy climb over the ledge onto the flat roof. “Well fuck I thought I’d have more time to rag on everyone in the Rumble. Better do this quickly before she finds the treasure.” I take a deep breath. “Fuck you Zag, I’ve already beaten you once and have gotten laid by two parties in this match, thus making me sexier. Paging Outcast, I’m sorry Mrs Jackson, but I’m for real when I tell you I don’t know who the fuck you are. Must be some lower card spot filler. Bifford, I hope you have a cardiac arrest on the way to the ring…. get it? Because you're a fat piece of shit. How you’ve garnered any respect is beyond me, and that’s saying something coming from me. To the rest of you that decided to sign up and then think promoting was beyond you, get fucked.”
Betsy pops her head up from the brick wall.
“Is this seriously what you sent me up here for?”
“Yup.”
“A fucking frisbee?”
“Mmhmm.”
“You know there’s a door up here right?”
“With Noah I can’t take any chances, he’s like a grown toddler. Just throw the frisbee down.”
In a huff Betsy throws the frisbee down and it lands right in Noah’s hands. As his face lights up like a kid getting a Playstation 5 on Christmas morning.
“SIIIIIICCCKKKKK”
Fade To Black
Well here we fucking go again right? The same old story. Told over and over again. Some people just don’t realize that this isn’t going to end well for 29 other people…. Wait a second quick maths…
Carry the one….
Divide by pi….
Actually 26 people aren’t going to be happy with the outcome…. maybe 25.5 depending on if it’s Monday or not. The point being I’m going to be happy with one sixth of the people that could possibly win this thing.
They won’t.
I will.
Spoiler.
But it’s all part of the plan. And just like Hannibal says in the A-Team….
I love it when a plan comes together.
“Oi cunts!”
Noah bellows as he swings open the front door of the brownstone. I quickly raise my head up from the kitchen table and frantically look around dazed. A quick glance across the table leads to me seeing Jackson Hart with the same confused look on his face. Noah makes his way into the kitchen. He’s got a few folders under his arms and is wearing a Ghost Puncher pull over hoodie, and a few draped over his shoulder.
“Wake up you fucks.” Noah slams his fist down on the table. “We’ve got some serious stuff to talk about.”
“What are you going on about Noah?” Jackson says while rubbing the crust from his eyes.
“Some serious Legacy business.” Noah firmly says while tossing each of us a folder.
“Shouldn’t we wait for Raven?” I ask while sliding the folder away from myself. “It’s too early for this shit man.”
“It’s noon.” Noah said with a stern fatherly tone. “Plus Raven shouldn’t be abreast of what we are talking about.”
“Come on Noah, you know if it’s a Legacy thing it’s all four of us or nothing.” Jackson said while pointing towards the coffee pot. I quickly give him a nod and get up to get to make some cups.
“Under normal circumstances you’d be correct, but now things have changed.” Noah excitedly opens up the folder and slides an eight by ten glossy photo to Jackson. I hand Jackson his coffee and look at the picture.
“What the fuck Noah?” I said while snatching the photo from Jackson. “Why the hell do you have a picture of Betsy with crosshairs over her face?”
“It’s simple cunt.” He extends his hand outward towards the two of us. “James is distracted. We need to eliminate Betsy from the picture. She’s a weakness. Like how you got rid of Step Mum.”
“Noah, knock it off. We aren’t taking Betsy out.” I give Noah a quick slap in the back of the head. “Since she’s been around I’ve never seen him more focused, and remember I’ve known him longer.”
“Dad, we need to handle this with a delicate touch.” Noah makes a finger gun and pulls the imaginary trigger.
“We aren’t killing her.” Jackson finally pulls away from his coffee. “She’s basically one of us.”
“Right you are Jax.” I said as it continues to resonate in my head. “One of us.”
“Don’t stroke out on me dad. But I gets what you guys are saying. But we need to be absolutely sure she can hang with us.”Noah said with a glint in his eye.
“I’m afraid to ask….” Jackson sets his cup down and continues. “But what are you thinking?”
“Have you boys ever been to Uni?”
“American English Noah.” Jackson says while stretching his arms.
“College. Have you dumb cunts ever been to college?” Noah gets a huge grin across his face. “We are going to haze the fuck out of her, until she decides she doesn’t want to be around us anymore.”
“Jax…. what you think?”
“It’s not the worst idea he’s had.” Jackson said while taking a sip of his coffee.
“Fair Dinkum….” Noah checks his watch. “That’s great news, because she’s going to be here in a few minu….”
**Ding Dong**
Before Noah could finish his statement the doorbell echoed through the home. Jackson and I look up and quickly back to Noah, who gleefully runs towards the door.
“Hey Noah!” Betsy said once Noah fully opened the door, and was met by a devilishly wide smile.
“Welcome to the Thunderdome…won’t you please come in.” Noah extends his hand towards the interior of the home. Betsy smiles and walks into the home. The two of them walk in on Jackson and myself shuffling the folders aside.
“Whatcha fellas got there?” Betsy curiously asked.
“Uh—-Um…” Jackson struggles to get the words out, and I quickly pick up where he so obviously failed.
“Nothing. Just some Ghost Punchers stuff. Have a seat. Can I get you anything?” Betsy politely declines but sits down.
“So boys…. what’s up?”
Noah leans over the table and snaps his fingers. Then again.
“Hey cunt…. that’s when you kill the lights.” Noah barks at Jackson. Jax rolls his eyes as Noah once again snaps and he reluctantly flips the switch. “So Betsy you wanna hang around Legacy? Well the. Be prepared to be indoctrinated into our lifestyle.”
“What, you mean getting drunk, going to clubs, failing to get laid, and above all else make sure you guys stay on top?” Betsy said without missing a beat.
“Well yeah.” Jackson says as a matter of factly.
“But also…. It’s time to haze you. You wanna be here, you’ve gotta be able to handle all the shots we throw your way.” Noah sternly said.
“The only person taking shots here is you Noah.” Betsy politely reminded him.
“Whatever… you in or not.”
“You know it!” She exclaimed excitedly.
**~~**Scene Transition **~~**
Quickly Jax, Noah, Shawn and Betsy clanging shot glasses on a table in a packed bar. Shawn produces a bottle of amber liquid and pours more shots.
“Now Betsy, first part of your initiation….. see that stage over there?” Betsy squints her eyes and nods. “Well it just so happens for us that it’s open mic night…. I need five minutes of spoken word poetry.”
“Fine.” She stands up and is a bit wobbly, and steadies herself.
“Wait hold up…” I pull out a stack of note cards. “My words. No straying from what is written.” Betsy shakes her head and snatches the cards from my grasp. She quickly thumbs through them.
“Seriously Shawn?”
“As the heart attack everyone thinks is coming my way soon. Verbatim.” With the back of my hand I usher her towards the stage. Betsy takes a deep breath, flips her hair and stomps off towards the stage. Suddenly a voice from the PA system is heard.
“Now coming to the stage… The Amazing purpled’...”
Betsy cautiously walks up the two steps and stands behind the mic. A single spotlight shines upon her. The sound of her clearing her throat and then she begins.
“Why I will win the Righteous Rumble…. By Your North American Champion, Shawn Warstein.”
“See my ego, every win adds a tick.
even Alice Knight rode this dick.
All eyes are on me, as is usually the case.
But speaking on all of you, that’s a waste.
I wish I could be as ignorant like Cuck Chad.
But it’s not in my nature to pick on a 50’s fad.
I could call out the mountain of a man like Bifford.
But even at my worst, he’d still exclaim good lawd.
Shawn doesn’t fuck around. Shawn isn’t here for games,
But simply to put people down and show them they are truly lame.
And not sick in the least.
Shawn’s a beast.
In the ring.
In the sack.
I’m going to throw all of you flat on your back.
Over the top, but don’t call me Stallone.
I’m putting bodies in bags, in shallow Graves.
Yeah that’s a diss and sparkling little miss.
If you was on fire, I wouldn’t drown you in piss.
If you think for one second I’m about fail.
You’re Funnie-r than Doug, Quail.
Man
I’m like Jordan of the Ring you know I ball,
Amelia and Cartier feel free to give me a call.
I’m not saying this is going to be easy, or it’s not a test,
But when it comes to here, your fuckin with the best.
Some say it’s Raven, Noah or Jax Independently
But in this rumble it’s the forces of Legacy.
It’s a battalion thats going to take all of you to break,
We be the unbreakable group that ran the coup.
This is the last time, before I lose my mind
Fuck all of y’all in a singular line.
We have no fear, we are the danger,
Welcome to Legacy, Betsy Granger.”
The crowd doesn’t say a word, as Betsy just walks off of the stage and right back to our table.
“Next time give me a beat you asshole, and did you just use this as a promo?” Betsy questioned.
“One thing you need to know about dear old Dad here…” Noah places a hand on my shoulder and fans his hand across the sky. “Everything is possibly a promo with him.”
“Great. What’s next.”
Noah leans over and whispers in my ear. I laugh for a moment and then quickly nod.
“Back to the brownstone.” I said while standing up.
**~~**Sick Scene Transition**~~**
The four of us are standing outside the brownstone. Betsy begins to walk towards the door.
“Ah ah ah…” I say as she turns around.
“What? Are we not going inside?”
“Nope.” I point to the roof of the brownstone. “You wanna be in Legacy, you're going to need to climb to the roof and retrieve the object that I have personally placed up there. A treasure of untold wealth. Chop chop.”
Betsy slumps her shoulders, followed by a quick roll of them and surveys the exterior of the building. After a deep breath and pulling her hair into a ponytail she begins to climb.
“Isn’t it possible she’ll break her neck?” Jax said with a worried look over his face.
“Maybe, but also, maybe not.” Noah chimes in.
“She’ll be fine. It’s not like I could’ve trusted either of you with this. For fuck sake Noah, you took a money shot to the face. That’s enough hazing for you. And Jax, Noah and I got one over on you and Raven through a series of torturous death traps. Everyone needs to be hazed to get in now, and this is hers.”
“How were you hazed?”
“Well I have to deal with him.” I fire a thumb towards Noah.
“For now, he’s going to be my roomie.” Jax said while slinging his arm over Noah. “So again. What was your hazing?”
“I don’t know, I had to flirt with Lissie?” I shrug™.
“Please you’ll flirt with anyone, that’s just who you are.”
“Fair. Fine uhh…. I guess my hazing would be….. wait one fucking second. Is she already on the roof?” Looking up and pointing, we all see Betsy climb over the ledge onto the flat roof. “Well fuck I thought I’d have more time to rag on everyone in the Rumble. Better do this quickly before she finds the treasure.” I take a deep breath. “Fuck you Zag, I’ve already beaten you once and have gotten laid by two parties in this match, thus making me sexier. Paging Outcast, I’m sorry Mrs Jackson, but I’m for real when I tell you I don’t know who the fuck you are. Must be some lower card spot filler. Bifford, I hope you have a cardiac arrest on the way to the ring…. get it? Because you're a fat piece of shit. How you’ve garnered any respect is beyond me, and that’s saying something coming from me. To the rest of you that decided to sign up and then think promoting was beyond you, get fucked.”
Betsy pops her head up from the brick wall.
“Is this seriously what you sent me up here for?”
“Yup.”
“A fucking frisbee?”
“Mmhmm.”
“You know there’s a door up here right?”
“With Noah I can’t take any chances, he’s like a grown toddler. Just throw the frisbee down.”
In a huff Betsy throws the frisbee down and it lands right in Noah’s hands. As his face lights up like a kid getting a Playstation 5 on Christmas morning.
“SIIIIIICCCKKKKK”
Fade To Black
