Post by Shawn Warstein on Jan 13, 2021 14:45:31 GMT -6
October 4th 2020, a day that changed everything.
It’s an important day. It was the day after I told Noah, Hart and Raven right to their faces that I was okay. That I was able to compartmentalize everything that happened.
I lied.
I’m a liar.
I said I had a new lease on life, but I was wrong. I was broken, shattered, and unwilling to be put back together. It drove me insane. I was ready and willing to just throw it all away. Walk out the door never to come back.
And wouldn’t that just be the story of Shawn Warstein? Things get tough and he just walks away without a care in the world. A blase demeanor and a fuck you attitude to go right along with it. Torch that bridge and never turn back.
The shell of the man can only withstand so much bashing before the cracks start to show. A legend is only as good as the myth that accompanies it. When I walked away from that bridge, something fundamentally changed in my soul. The man who I was supposed to be was gone. The man I wanted to be was gone.
I just…..was.
Slowly over time I got up and dusted myself off. I forged ahead. That’s not to say it was all good. Empty liquor bottles became the norm. Lashing out at everyone. Some played it off as Shawn being Shawn, and that’s just what he does.
It’s a cop out.
It was an excuse to try and sweep my transgressions under the rug for another day. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I got over her.
That would be a lie.
I wanted so badly to put up the facade that I didn’t want her. That I didn’t need her. I was empty. So optically to all of you I had moved on, but inside I was still In Love.
And what do you know of love Dead?
What do you know about having someone by your side, day in and day out. Always there for you when you need it. The one person to keep you on track. The one person to keep you focused. The one person capable of seeing your ego and knowing it’s sheltering a broken man.
I can scream from the mountain tops that I’m the best. I can walk into any company I want and take what I want. Simply because I am ME. It takes a truly special person to see past that. A truly pure person to have the ability to quell that when it’s just the two of them. You don’t have that, I did, then I didn’t, now I do again.
Thank Her.
Thank Her, that she pointed out you’re nothing more than a nuisance.
For example….
You said in the Righteous Rumble that I have never crossed paths with someone like you. That if I ever step up to the plate that I’d be lunch meat. Here’s where you're fundamentally wrong. I’ve seen your kind before. The dead reanimated for the sake of spooky shit. The badass veteran of nearly thirty years, who is here to kick ass and take names. Well I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re nothing to me. You’re a Wal-Mart version of everyone to do what you do. Walking around, living, breathing…..
You hear that?
Breathing. You want to know what that means?
That means I can choke the life out of you. I can break you down to the real essence of what you really are.
Nothing more than a man.
With some stupid theatrics behind him.
You said you couldn’t wait to get your hands on me. Hoping that we would square off in the rumble. You didn’t get your wish.
But now?
Now you get to live out your dream. You get to witness greatness firsthand. You think for one goddamn second that I think anything of you? I don’t even know who you are. They say you died in July, yet that’s not true now is it? You’re living in your own personal hell. You can’t escape your demons. It’s okay I’ll send you right back to the grave, unlike others I’ll finish the fucking job. I want you to look at me right in the eyes and know that the second that bell rings it’s over. I’ve stood across the ring from the greats. What you are going to witness is someone who is so far beyond you. Someone so ahead of the curve. Someone who is simply better than you in every facet of the business.
And when I’m done?
I’ll explain to the world about how much of a fucking bitch you are on Twitter. Then the ravenous people you associate with will come to your defense, but I won’t see them… because like the cowards they are I’m already blocked.
But what about after all of that? What am I going to do?
Well I’m going to go on about my life. You aren’t going to register at all in the grand scheme. I’ll go on to the next show and keep it moving. I guess that’s just the mentality of a...
Fuckboi.
I’d hate to see what would happen to you if I actually tried.
January 8th 2020
Backstage After Inferno
“What the fuck was that!?” Shawn screams as the rest of Legacy follows behind him down the hallway in the back. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
Shawn spins around spittle coming out from the corner of his mouth. His eyes damn near bulging out of his head.
“Services no longer needed!” Shawn points towards Betsy. “What were you thinking!?!”
James steps up between Shawn and Betsy. He places a hand on the chest of Shawn and holds him back.
“You have no idea the hell you’ve just unleashed on all of us!” Shawn knocks James’ hand away. “And you don’t sit there like this is any concern to you!”
Shawn pushes James backwards.
“This is just going to roll right off of your back.” Noah and Jax both look at each other and then avoid the three of them. “What does it matter to you!?”
Shawn turns around in a huff, and swings open the Legacy locker room door. It clangs against the wall with a resounding thud. Shawn leans up against a table and turns around and sees none of Legacy have walked in behind him.
“Sure why the fuck not!” Shawn takes an arm and swipes everything off of the table all over the ground. Atara slowly walks into the room, as Noah and Jax peek their heads around the threshold. “Cowards!” Atara grabs Shawn on either side of his head and diverts his attention to her gaze.
“Relax dove.” Shawn takes a deep breath and then curls his bottom lip.
“No.” Shawn takes her hands off of his face and walks towards the door. “They don’t fucking care!”
“About what?” Atara tries to stop Shawn before he reaches the hallway.
“The reason you’re not in Legacy. The reason we needed to keep Deana placated until everything was settled. Until I could get the situation under control!” Shawn walks out into the hall where the rest of Legacy are still out there, pretending not to hear what’s going on. “Act like you don’t know what you just did…. FUCK!!!!”
Shawn glares at each of them before turning around and punching the wall. He winces in pain and growls as he shakes his hand.
“Shawn, i agápi mou irémise….” Softly in her native Greek, Atara once again tries to calm Shawn. “Sit down, tell me what the problem is.”
Shawn shakes his head and shrugs™.
“Exactly what I FUCKING knew was going to happen!”
“Just tell me!” Atara grabs Shawn by the hand and leads him to the couch. She pushes him down, never letting go of his hand and sits down next to him. “I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal. You know how you like to blow things out of proportion.”
“It’s just Shawn.” The vile in his words were paramount. “I knew that eventually I’d be thrown under the bus, but I didn’t expect it this soon.”
“I’m sure that’s not it at all…” She pleads with Shawn.
“No, it is. They might not know it but they just ROYALLY fucked me. No lube. No spit. Dry with sand.”
“That’s definitely one way to describe it…tell me what I can do to help.” Atara asks as Shawn places his head in his hands.
“Nothing.”
“There has to be something.”
“Just.” Shawn inhales sharply before shaking his head. “I did what needed to be done.”
James walks into the room and clears his throat.
“We all did.” Shawn slowly turns his head to James. His eyes never waver.
“Really? Who’s hands are dirty? Who has the blood on their hands?” Shawn asks as Noah and Jax come into the room.
“We all do.” Jackson stated while grabbing a can of soda off the ground and handing it to Noah.
“Yeah cunt, it’s on all of us.” Noah flicks the top of the can a few times before opening it while turning his head away.
“Most of all.” Betsy chimes in as she saunters into the room. “Deana has just as much.”
Betsy pulls a chair with her and sets it up across from Shawn and sits down.
“We are in this together.”
Shawn smirks.
“We.” A small chortle from Shawn. “When all the shit hits the fan… I’m going to be the one shouldering everything.”
“Shawn. I’m going to need you to stop being a fucking baby about this. We needed to cut the cancer out. You four became complacent. Sheltered. We are going to show the World what we are. You need to trust me.” Betsy said in a confident tone. “Just as I trust you implicitly.”
“Why?”
“I trust you not to put James in situations he can’t handle. I trust that you are thinking of the best for Jax and Noah. I trust that you wouldn’t hurt Atty. I trust that you trust me.”
“Fine. We have to make this right.” Shawn takes a deep breath. “I’m going home. I need time to think.” Shawn stands up and walks towards the door.
“Like alone, alone. Or like alone?” Noah chimes in after taking a drink from the can. Shawn sighs and nods his head towards the door. Noah rushes over but Shawn stops him as Atara walks past.
“Oi cunt!”
“Don’t worry Noah, I’m just going to make sure he stays out of trouble.” Atara said with a smile as she disappeared down the hallway.
“Is that what you’re doing now? ‘Thinking’...” Noah said towards Shawn.
“No. You know what she’ll stop me from doing.” Noah gives a slight nod. The Sick Cunts do their super secret handshake as Shawn leaves the rest of Legacy in the locker room.
A bungled scene transition so bad, you’d think it stormed the capital.
Shawn is driving down the road with Atara focusing on her phone.
“What did you mean by, why I’m not in Legacy?” Atara asked without looking up from her phone.
“I did some things that if it were to crash down, I didn’t want you to get caught in the fallout.” Shawn reaches over and places a hand on top of hers. She breaks her gaze from her phone and looks over to Shawn.
“You know you don’t have to protect me, right? I’m a big girl and can fend for myself.”
“I know.”
“So why then?”
“It’s….” Shawn pulls his hand away and runs it through his hair. “Despite everything we’ve been through. All the things we said to and about one another. No matter how much I tried to hide it. I never stopped loving you.”
“...”
“I feel this overwhelming need to protect you. I’m sorry. It’s just the way it’s going to be.”
“I know.” A smile comes across Atara’s face. “Say it again.”
The camera fades to black.
It’s an important day. It was the day after I told Noah, Hart and Raven right to their faces that I was okay. That I was able to compartmentalize everything that happened.
I lied.
I’m a liar.
I said I had a new lease on life, but I was wrong. I was broken, shattered, and unwilling to be put back together. It drove me insane. I was ready and willing to just throw it all away. Walk out the door never to come back.
And wouldn’t that just be the story of Shawn Warstein? Things get tough and he just walks away without a care in the world. A blase demeanor and a fuck you attitude to go right along with it. Torch that bridge and never turn back.
The shell of the man can only withstand so much bashing before the cracks start to show. A legend is only as good as the myth that accompanies it. When I walked away from that bridge, something fundamentally changed in my soul. The man who I was supposed to be was gone. The man I wanted to be was gone.
I just…..was.
Slowly over time I got up and dusted myself off. I forged ahead. That’s not to say it was all good. Empty liquor bottles became the norm. Lashing out at everyone. Some played it off as Shawn being Shawn, and that’s just what he does.
It’s a cop out.
It was an excuse to try and sweep my transgressions under the rug for another day. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I got over her.
That would be a lie.
I wanted so badly to put up the facade that I didn’t want her. That I didn’t need her. I was empty. So optically to all of you I had moved on, but inside I was still In Love.
And what do you know of love Dead?
What do you know about having someone by your side, day in and day out. Always there for you when you need it. The one person to keep you on track. The one person to keep you focused. The one person capable of seeing your ego and knowing it’s sheltering a broken man.
I can scream from the mountain tops that I’m the best. I can walk into any company I want and take what I want. Simply because I am ME. It takes a truly special person to see past that. A truly pure person to have the ability to quell that when it’s just the two of them. You don’t have that, I did, then I didn’t, now I do again.
Thank Her.
Thank Her, that she pointed out you’re nothing more than a nuisance.
For example….
You said in the Righteous Rumble that I have never crossed paths with someone like you. That if I ever step up to the plate that I’d be lunch meat. Here’s where you're fundamentally wrong. I’ve seen your kind before. The dead reanimated for the sake of spooky shit. The badass veteran of nearly thirty years, who is here to kick ass and take names. Well I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re nothing to me. You’re a Wal-Mart version of everyone to do what you do. Walking around, living, breathing…..
You hear that?
Breathing. You want to know what that means?
That means I can choke the life out of you. I can break you down to the real essence of what you really are.
Nothing more than a man.
With some stupid theatrics behind him.
You said you couldn’t wait to get your hands on me. Hoping that we would square off in the rumble. You didn’t get your wish.
But now?
Now you get to live out your dream. You get to witness greatness firsthand. You think for one goddamn second that I think anything of you? I don’t even know who you are. They say you died in July, yet that’s not true now is it? You’re living in your own personal hell. You can’t escape your demons. It’s okay I’ll send you right back to the grave, unlike others I’ll finish the fucking job. I want you to look at me right in the eyes and know that the second that bell rings it’s over. I’ve stood across the ring from the greats. What you are going to witness is someone who is so far beyond you. Someone so ahead of the curve. Someone who is simply better than you in every facet of the business.
And when I’m done?
I’ll explain to the world about how much of a fucking bitch you are on Twitter. Then the ravenous people you associate with will come to your defense, but I won’t see them… because like the cowards they are I’m already blocked.
But what about after all of that? What am I going to do?
Well I’m going to go on about my life. You aren’t going to register at all in the grand scheme. I’ll go on to the next show and keep it moving. I guess that’s just the mentality of a...
Fuckboi.
I’d hate to see what would happen to you if I actually tried.
January 8th 2020
Backstage After Inferno
“What the fuck was that!?” Shawn screams as the rest of Legacy follows behind him down the hallway in the back. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
Shawn spins around spittle coming out from the corner of his mouth. His eyes damn near bulging out of his head.
“Services no longer needed!” Shawn points towards Betsy. “What were you thinking!?!”
James steps up between Shawn and Betsy. He places a hand on the chest of Shawn and holds him back.
“You have no idea the hell you’ve just unleashed on all of us!” Shawn knocks James’ hand away. “And you don’t sit there like this is any concern to you!”
Shawn pushes James backwards.
“This is just going to roll right off of your back.” Noah and Jax both look at each other and then avoid the three of them. “What does it matter to you!?”
Shawn turns around in a huff, and swings open the Legacy locker room door. It clangs against the wall with a resounding thud. Shawn leans up against a table and turns around and sees none of Legacy have walked in behind him.
“Sure why the fuck not!” Shawn takes an arm and swipes everything off of the table all over the ground. Atara slowly walks into the room, as Noah and Jax peek their heads around the threshold. “Cowards!” Atara grabs Shawn on either side of his head and diverts his attention to her gaze.
“Relax dove.” Shawn takes a deep breath and then curls his bottom lip.
“No.” Shawn takes her hands off of his face and walks towards the door. “They don’t fucking care!”
“About what?” Atara tries to stop Shawn before he reaches the hallway.
“The reason you’re not in Legacy. The reason we needed to keep Deana placated until everything was settled. Until I could get the situation under control!” Shawn walks out into the hall where the rest of Legacy are still out there, pretending not to hear what’s going on. “Act like you don’t know what you just did…. FUCK!!!!”
Shawn glares at each of them before turning around and punching the wall. He winces in pain and growls as he shakes his hand.
“Shawn, i agápi mou irémise….” Softly in her native Greek, Atara once again tries to calm Shawn. “Sit down, tell me what the problem is.”
Shawn shakes his head and shrugs™.
“Exactly what I FUCKING knew was going to happen!”
“Just tell me!” Atara grabs Shawn by the hand and leads him to the couch. She pushes him down, never letting go of his hand and sits down next to him. “I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal. You know how you like to blow things out of proportion.”
“It’s just Shawn.” The vile in his words were paramount. “I knew that eventually I’d be thrown under the bus, but I didn’t expect it this soon.”
“I’m sure that’s not it at all…” She pleads with Shawn.
“No, it is. They might not know it but they just ROYALLY fucked me. No lube. No spit. Dry with sand.”
“That’s definitely one way to describe it…tell me what I can do to help.” Atara asks as Shawn places his head in his hands.
“Nothing.”
“There has to be something.”
“Just.” Shawn inhales sharply before shaking his head. “I did what needed to be done.”
James walks into the room and clears his throat.
“We all did.” Shawn slowly turns his head to James. His eyes never waver.
“Really? Who’s hands are dirty? Who has the blood on their hands?” Shawn asks as Noah and Jax come into the room.
“We all do.” Jackson stated while grabbing a can of soda off the ground and handing it to Noah.
“Yeah cunt, it’s on all of us.” Noah flicks the top of the can a few times before opening it while turning his head away.
“Most of all.” Betsy chimes in as she saunters into the room. “Deana has just as much.”
Betsy pulls a chair with her and sets it up across from Shawn and sits down.
“We are in this together.”
Shawn smirks.
“We.” A small chortle from Shawn. “When all the shit hits the fan… I’m going to be the one shouldering everything.”
“Shawn. I’m going to need you to stop being a fucking baby about this. We needed to cut the cancer out. You four became complacent. Sheltered. We are going to show the World what we are. You need to trust me.” Betsy said in a confident tone. “Just as I trust you implicitly.”
“Why?”
“I trust you not to put James in situations he can’t handle. I trust that you are thinking of the best for Jax and Noah. I trust that you wouldn’t hurt Atty. I trust that you trust me.”
“Fine. We have to make this right.” Shawn takes a deep breath. “I’m going home. I need time to think.” Shawn stands up and walks towards the door.
“Like alone, alone. Or like alone?” Noah chimes in after taking a drink from the can. Shawn sighs and nods his head towards the door. Noah rushes over but Shawn stops him as Atara walks past.
“Oi cunt!”
“Don’t worry Noah, I’m just going to make sure he stays out of trouble.” Atara said with a smile as she disappeared down the hallway.
“Is that what you’re doing now? ‘Thinking’...” Noah said towards Shawn.
“No. You know what she’ll stop me from doing.” Noah gives a slight nod. The Sick Cunts do their super secret handshake as Shawn leaves the rest of Legacy in the locker room.
A bungled scene transition so bad, you’d think it stormed the capital.
Shawn is driving down the road with Atara focusing on her phone.
“What did you mean by, why I’m not in Legacy?” Atara asked without looking up from her phone.
“I did some things that if it were to crash down, I didn’t want you to get caught in the fallout.” Shawn reaches over and places a hand on top of hers. She breaks her gaze from her phone and looks over to Shawn.
“You know you don’t have to protect me, right? I’m a big girl and can fend for myself.”
“I know.”
“So why then?”
“It’s….” Shawn pulls his hand away and runs it through his hair. “Despite everything we’ve been through. All the things we said to and about one another. No matter how much I tried to hide it. I never stopped loving you.”
“...”
“I feel this overwhelming need to protect you. I’m sorry. It’s just the way it’s going to be.”
“I know.” A smile comes across Atara’s face. “Say it again.”
The camera fades to black.