Post by Alessandro Quagliaterre on Feb 10, 2021 14:00:36 GMT -6
When Alessandro Quagliaterre was hella mad, in the past he would go out to the streets of New Jersey and beat a person to within an inch of their life with his bare hands. However as a reformed individual who had successfully completed anger management this was no longer the case. Now he would channel his anger in the written form, through his words and writing letters of complaint. It was one of his great hobbies, where he would lock himself in his private study/library and on his beautiful mahogany desk he would write the greatest letters of complaint known to humanity. He could literally win a Pulitzer for it... if there was such a category.
'DEAR ZYBALA! YOU FAKEASS JUVENTUS BOOTLEG ARGENTINIAN WANNABE RIPPING OFF PAULO DYBALA! THE ONLY "YBALA" THAT MATTERS'
He wrote out the letter in all capital letters to indicate for the reader that he was shouting.
'WHO THE F*=K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? YOU ILLEGALLY BOOKED ME ON YOUR SHITTY STUPID FUCKING SHOW. HAD YOU GONE THROUGH THE PROPER GOD DAMN CHANNELS LIKE MY AGENT I WOULD HAVE GAVE YOU A CHARACTER TO PUT IN YOUR FUCKING TRASHBAG BACKYARD PROMOTION WHERE EVERYONE IS A STONER/WHORE/FAT/GROSS AND IT WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUN AND FUNNY AND WE ALL WOULD HAVE HAD A GOOD TIME'
AQ continued to write venomously.
'BUT INSTEAD YOU BE A SHADY PIECE OF SHIT AND BOOK ME BEHIND MY BACK WITHOUT TELLING ME AND NOW I HAVE TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER OF COMPLAINT BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A LAZY GODDAMN SHIT THAT YOU CAN'T DO IT ON YOUR OWN, WITHOUT ANY BACKSTORY OF WHY ON EARTH SOMEONE OF MY CALIBER WOULD APPEAR ON OUTSIDERS CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING?'
He was so heated.
'YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO COME TO YOUR SHITSHOW IN MARCH, AND I'M GOING TO BURY WHOEVER THE FUCK VACANT IS, AND I DID WATCH DYSTOPIA 14 HE'S ABOUT AS RELEVANT AS YOU HAVE BEEN IN WRESTLING FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS. I'M SUCH A PROFESSIONAL THAT I'M GOING TO BURN YOUR WHOLE GOD DAMN BUILDING DOWN, SEND VACANT TO OCCUPIED LIKE A AIRPLANE BATHROOM AND LAY A BRICK ON HIM/HER/OR HE/SHE THEY/THE IF THEY'RE LIKE GENDER CONFUSED.'
Enraged but politically correct for gender neutrals.
'YOUR WHOLE ORGANISATION IS NOT PROPER WRESTLING I WILL COMPETE ON MARCH 1ST AND THEN I DON'T EVER WANT TO BE BOOKED WITHOUT FULL CONSENT EVER AGAIN, AND YOU AND YOUR TRASH FRIENDS CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD YOU FUCKED ME ONE LAST TIME AND THIS IS FUCKING IT. I HOPE THIS BACKYARD FED FUCKING DIES FUCK YOU'
He then puts his pen down, having fully expressed his contempt in written form. He places the letter in an envelope and has Zybala's address imprinted on the front which he got from GCWA personnel files after contacting management. He places the necessary postage on the envelope, and then whistles as a bulldog with giant nuts waddles into the room, he coddles the dogs ears and then instructs it to do something. Next thing you know the dog is shitting in the envelope for Zybala so now it is poop mail. Not one to touch such a gross envelope, AQ instructs the dog to seal the envelope with his dirty dog tongue, and the dog goes to the post office or nearest postbox to go mail the letter intended for Zybala.
