Post by Barry on May 1, 2021 17:44:42 GMT -6
Sometimes the odds find a way to be against you. You may think you're just cool, awe-inspiring hero who battles on against the villains of the world with whatever they can find. Like Daredevil. Or Batman. But no matter how intelligent, handsome, or unpinnable you are, there can still be struggles ahead when you're facing more than one foe.
Barry awakens in a flash, his eyes opening wide, as he realizes that he's currently hanging upside-down. All the blood is rushing to his magnificent brain. He looks around, seeing several men standing around him, focusing on one. His arch-nemesis, his ultimate foe: The Jester! The man is laughing as he swings his little mallet around, having taken Barry by surprise during an attempted rescue.
"Your hero days are over, BARRY! We have you, and I can't wait to see our special Barry Slayer do its work! HA HA HA HA!
Barry glances down, seeing what appears to be a bucket full of spinning blades. The rope starts to lower him in, as he takes in his positioning. He focuses on the other villains around. The Brick Wall, as tough as one, as silent as one, as dumb as one. Loverboy, the man who seduces everyone around while pretending to be a faithful dude. The man called... Vincenzo... *shudders* Nothing worse than that name.
It isn't easy to battle such numbers. Especially when those numbers have people that you once considered friends. But they turned on you, they couldn't stand how awesome and muscular you were, and they knew nobody could make a better souffle than you. NOBODY! Sorry, getting carried away. But I know that they loved my souffle. Anyway, when it comes to a fight like this, you've got to be prepared beforehand. You've got to plan out every possibility in every detail if you want to survive. And I always do so, for I am Barry The Unpinnable.
Barry's hands twist, and magically the twists securing him pop free. He reaches up, grabbing the rope, and yanks his legs free, hanging precariously over the machine for a few moments. But Barry has been practicing greatly on his upper strength, which allows him to climb up the rope rapidly, reaching the top in mere seconds. For some reason, there are a couple of fake cardboard belts stuck at the top there, and Barry takes a moment to snatch both of them and attach them around his waist before swinging himself over to safety.
You can bet when I face Master Robber for the titles at Dystopia, I will be ready to deal with his friends as well. Because everyone knows that he would never be brave enough to ban his friends from the contest. He'd never have the guts to do that. He's a little chicken. Buckaw, buckaw! What a scardy-cat, has to have his help! Yeah, yeah, that ought to do it, oops, edit this last part later...
Barry is fighting with Brick Wall, but it's not much of a fight. Barry's just dodging every fist of Brick Wall's, making him hit concrete every time. Brick Wall finally stops, groaning as he looks as his ruined hands, and Barry lands a kick that knocks him over. Loverboy tries to wrap his long, smooth arms around Barry, but Barry lets out a feminine scream, shaking him for a second as he looks around for cops. Before Loverboy can recover, Barry gets him by the head and drops with a stunner, knocking him out. Vincenzo walks in, staring menacingly, but Barry tosses a package of cannolis to the side, and Vincenzo happily chases after them. That just leaves Barry facing off against the Jester.
Once I have found a way to remove all the others and it's just you and me, Roberto, we'll finally get to see who the better man is. I know you're wanting to choke me out and dispatch me with all prejudice from the world of wrestling. If I had my wish... it'd be to allow you to walk again. Surprise you with that one? I'm that kind of guy. But since I don't have any magic powers like that, I'll have to settle for landing on you with a Barry-nator corkscrew moonsault and breaking you with a Barry-More Breaker STF. Then when I get the belts and show you the error of your ways, maybe you'll realize that you can be a good guy, too. All villains consider it from time to time. Join the light, Alternator Rob! Join the light!
The Jester tries one more trick, going for the blinding liquid shooter hidden in the wheelchair gag. But Barry manages to avoid it, accidentally causing The Jester's chair to get hit and roll backwards... sending him over the edge and towards the Barry Slayer machine! The chair gets chewed to ribbons... but The Jester is hanging upside-down now, thanks to Barry grabbing him. The Jester looks up, thankful for the save, only to see Barry really, REALLY straining to hang on. After a few seconds, the camera pans away, as we hear a loud scream for mercy.
I will be leaving Dystopia unpinned once again. And yes, I know that this isn't a match I can be pinned. Sure I know that. But it's still true. I will also be leaving with two championships and the honor and glory that comes from holding them. I will defeat the Family and claim their trophies as my own. And then I will be there, having nothing to do with them again, as they will finally realize they were beaten... by The Barry.
Barry walks tiredly into his super secret entrance and removes his costume. He has placed three new items on his trophy case. Two cardboard titles. And a single boot of the Jester. We fade out.
