Post by Vargas on Nov 7, 2019 23:47:51 GMT -6
A nicely done video montage flickers across the screen, as Hank Williams Jr’s ever familiar voice is heard singing over the highlight package. It’s a pretty badly version of his infamous Monday night Football opening, with someone else that clearly isn’t Hank singing…
“ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOO---GCWA! WRASSLIN! A SUNDAY NIGHT PAAARTAYY!”
GCWA greats are seen in the mix, Lurrr holding the championship high above his head in his first career title victory. We see Derek Mobley, Shane Donovan, Punisher, Titan 3 and TLS in all their glory, going through some of their memorable matches throughout their time in GCWA. It slowly fades into the ‘new school’ GCWA. Still showing shots of GCWA faithful, Lurrr, Big Bifford, TLS, Danger Boiz returning to their prestige. We see the card run down with a voiceover cutting off “Hank’s” rendition of the theme song. The voiceover hypes all that matches throughout top to bottom, ending with the buildup between Big Bifford and Eric Dane.
“It should be one hell of a night for GCWA. Stars and fans alike! This will be a big show, and it can be on your television set for only $69.99!”
This is a business after all ain’t it?
High Rollers. What a fitting name for a pay-per-view. Part Deux of the GCWA reboot. Sure as fuck couldn’t call it High Rollers without the almighty, yours truly, the LORD and SAVIOUR of professional wrestling, BIG BAD CHAD!
Any zealots of GCWA know… Hell, a true wrestling fan definitely know, the monumental saga that is: Chad Vargas and Bob Grenier. The two signed contracts the same week in OCW. They attended the legendary OCW orientation with another great PerZag. During the beginning, they went separate ways. But, as time went on, they found themselves in match after match. In a match at Clash at the Coast they went head to head against Scott Syren for the Western championship. That match was rated top 3 wrestling match of ALL TIME at the OCW Hall of Fame. From there, they became tag team partners, back to hated rivals, with Vargas throwing Grenier off the Green Monster at Fenway Park! Grenier defeating Vargas at Revenge for the OCW championship. The Southern Gentleman actually physically assaulted Grenier’s elderly grandmother, Mrs. Ruth Ann Grenier!
There is literally a book being penned right now on their intertwined legacy by famed prominent biographer Billy Grooder. We will save ALL the gory details for the 500 page epic. For now, the only thing you need to know is the last time these two shared a professional wrestling ring, they we’re OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.
OCW is dead. There’s nothing left to accomplish except the GCWA Tag team championships! And that’s exactly what they’re going to do!
Going up against two young up and comers, Crash Rodriguez and Jace Savage may be no easy task. These two are certainly very good at their craft, and could upset the two wily veterans for the tag titles themselves.
Wait.
Who the fuck we kidding? These two poor bastards are gonna get SMOKED. I pity the fools! There’s no way they are going to do anything against THE WREKKKING KREW! God damn, Ray Charles could see that comin’ from a mile away and… he’s dead AND blind!
A busy Walmart Supercenter in Jasper, Tennessee is sprawling with patrons just after 8pm on a dismal Friday evening. Of course, Friday means payday, and at Walmart, you’d better believe this shit is better than cable TV. Walmart in Tennessee, no less. Everyone and their uncle Steve is at this fucking Walmart it seems. People coming and going left and right. Buying groceries, beer, cigarettes, dart boards, scrapbook material, weedwhacker string… You get it! It’s fucking Walmart! There is your standard ghetto kid standing at the door with his baggy ass basketball shorts hanging down around his knees, his miniscule cock can be seen under his dirty underwear. He’s also equipped with his stained white flat brim hat on cocked to the left and SIDEWAYS. In this kid’s mind, he’s the epitome of FUCKING AWESOME.
Of course, we all know he is absolutely not. This motherfucker is as cool as AIDS.
He’s wheeling and dealing though, trying to bum a smoke, or a few dollars for a bus ticket. This bitch ain’t letting anyone get by him without grilling them for a handout. Most ignore him, some look on with disgust and humiliation, while SOME give him a few bucks. One dude takes a cig right out of his mouth mid drag and hands it over to him. He smiles as he tosses the half smoked cigarette in his mouth taking a haul off it.
Ghetto kid: YOOO!
We see Chad Vargas approaching. Vargas eyes him up and down with ABSOLUTE REPUGNANCE. The kid in all of his utter cools smirks like a bad ass. Vargas stops directly before him, looks at him dead in the eye.
Vargas: FUCK YOU, PUSSY!
At that very moment, this sorry sack of shit’s ego is completely deflated. He fades back into the storefront and takes a seat on the bench. Vargas smiles and nods, as he sarcastically bids him good day as he walks into the store.
Why do you suppose a HIGHROLLER such as Chad Vargas shop at fucking Wallyword?!
Who knows. Who cares. The reason why rich people stay rich, is because they don’t spend their money! And when they do, they by cheap ass shit.
Walmart has came such a long way from what it was when we we’re young lads. Used to be if you shown up to school with a pair of kicks from Walmart, you we’re ONE HUNDRED percent getting your ass beat and ridiculed the rest of your entire high school career. BUT, times, they are a changin’ Now adays we got boys wearing women’s panties and being called BRAVE.
Holy fuck!!! Think about for that a moment people?
My grandpappy used to say, “This country is going to hell in a hand basket!” Goodness gracious, scooter, was that man ever absolutely fucking correct!
Some people are just like bugs, and need to be exterminated. Revelation IS coming, ladies and gentlemen! ONLY the RIGHTEOUS will survive!!!
Vargas is seen steam rolling his shopping cart down the beer and wine aisle. He’s already got 3 cases of BUD HEAVY in the cart as he cruises down the aisle, stopping real quick to toss a bag of Doritos atop his alcohol. As he pushes the cart, it makes a hellacious sound, because, like every fucking Walmart, the cart’s wheels don’t roll right and nobody has trashed it yet. Vargas sighs as he makes his way throughout the aisle. An obese white chick wearing a THONG and a halter top comes around the corner. Vargas looks appalled. He can’t figure out what’s bigger, those tits or that FUPA? The Confederate Icon cannot believe his eyes. He shakes his head, trying to shake the sight from his imaging system. Just then, a black guy comes around the corner holding a rotisserie chicken.
Guy: YO BABE! HOW MANY STAMPS WE GOT LEFT?!
Vargas: TYPICAL!!!
Vargas hauls ass out of that aisle before he pukes. He shops around a little bit longer before realizing he has all he needs for this trip.
This shopping journey is finally capped off. Vargas whistles as he works toward the front of the store to the checkout counters. He walks past all of the cash registers, wouldn’t you know? As busy as this fucking store is, they only have ONE fuckin’ cash register open!? Vargas sighs loudly as he nears his cart to the only self-checkout line. He shakes his head as he makes a comment loud enough for the nearby employee to hear.
Vargas: These motherfuckers gonna put me on payroll? After working all fucking day I’ve gotta also work for Walmart and check my own fuckin’ groceries!?
The young millennial bitch gives Vargas a dirty look as she herself shakes her head. It’s also comical that Chad Vargas calls cases of beer and Doritos groceries. Vargas does his thing and angrily swipes his items through the scanner, throwing his shit back into the counter. He pulls his debit card from his wallet and stuffs it into the machine as he goes through all the motions to pay for his items. The receipt prints out of the machine as Vargas stuffs it into his pants pocket. He hauls ass for the door, just as he gets to the door and Hispanic employee approaches.
Employee: Receipt?
Vargas no sells this dumb sum bitch as he blows him off and continues for the door. But, before he can break the threshold, the employee places his hand on Vargas’ cart, stopping his motion.
Employee: See Receipt. SIR!
Vargas smirks as he looks this guy dead in his eyes.
Vargas: FUCK OFF, BITCH! Do you have a warrant!
This un-American pile of shit doesn’t get it. He’s blindly following his boss’s orders and vehemently willingly violates the Fourth Amendment by intrusively grasping for Vargas’ receipt.
Employee: Walmart POLICY! MUST SEE IT!
At this point, the employee royally fucks up by grabbing for Vargas’ receipt from his hand. By sheer principal alone at this point, there is absolutely NO WAY anyone is going to see his receipt. Of all the 100 cameras in the store, it is unnecessary to look over one’s receipt. Walmart’s store policy is a simple request, not a LAW. There is nowhere that states Vargas HAS to show this fucking idiot anything. But, we have someone here blindly following orders attempting to work on behalf of feelings then law. Some guy that isn’t even from AMERICA and doesn’t value the fact that we are all FREE. The employee pushes the receipt thing too far, before Vargas suddenly SNAPS.
Vargas: You done fucked up, boy!
Out of nowhere, Vargas throws the world’s nastiest head butt at this poor bastard. He literally obliterates the Walmart employee, taking him OUT of his shoes, splitting his face in half and breaking his nose to pieces as he falls down to the floor with a thud! Vargas, who underestimated his power looks down at the fallen guy. Patrons scream as they scatter. Vargas shrugs.
Vargas: I don’t show receipts.
Vargas nonchalantly pushes his cart out of the store and heads toward his truck as police sirens can be heard approaching in the distance.
“ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOO---GCWA! WRASSLIN! A SUNDAY NIGHT PAAARTAYY!”
GCWA greats are seen in the mix, Lurrr holding the championship high above his head in his first career title victory. We see Derek Mobley, Shane Donovan, Punisher, Titan 3 and TLS in all their glory, going through some of their memorable matches throughout their time in GCWA. It slowly fades into the ‘new school’ GCWA. Still showing shots of GCWA faithful, Lurrr, Big Bifford, TLS, Danger Boiz returning to their prestige. We see the card run down with a voiceover cutting off “Hank’s” rendition of the theme song. The voiceover hypes all that matches throughout top to bottom, ending with the buildup between Big Bifford and Eric Dane.
“It should be one hell of a night for GCWA. Stars and fans alike! This will be a big show, and it can be on your television set for only $69.99!”
This is a business after all ain’t it?
High Rollers. What a fitting name for a pay-per-view. Part Deux of the GCWA reboot. Sure as fuck couldn’t call it High Rollers without the almighty, yours truly, the LORD and SAVIOUR of professional wrestling, BIG BAD CHAD!
Any zealots of GCWA know… Hell, a true wrestling fan definitely know, the monumental saga that is: Chad Vargas and Bob Grenier. The two signed contracts the same week in OCW. They attended the legendary OCW orientation with another great PerZag. During the beginning, they went separate ways. But, as time went on, they found themselves in match after match. In a match at Clash at the Coast they went head to head against Scott Syren for the Western championship. That match was rated top 3 wrestling match of ALL TIME at the OCW Hall of Fame. From there, they became tag team partners, back to hated rivals, with Vargas throwing Grenier off the Green Monster at Fenway Park! Grenier defeating Vargas at Revenge for the OCW championship. The Southern Gentleman actually physically assaulted Grenier’s elderly grandmother, Mrs. Ruth Ann Grenier!
There is literally a book being penned right now on their intertwined legacy by famed prominent biographer Billy Grooder. We will save ALL the gory details for the 500 page epic. For now, the only thing you need to know is the last time these two shared a professional wrestling ring, they we’re OCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS.
OCW is dead. There’s nothing left to accomplish except the GCWA Tag team championships! And that’s exactly what they’re going to do!
Going up against two young up and comers, Crash Rodriguez and Jace Savage may be no easy task. These two are certainly very good at their craft, and could upset the two wily veterans for the tag titles themselves.
Wait.
Who the fuck we kidding? These two poor bastards are gonna get SMOKED. I pity the fools! There’s no way they are going to do anything against THE WREKKKING KREW! God damn, Ray Charles could see that comin’ from a mile away and… he’s dead AND blind!
A busy Walmart Supercenter in Jasper, Tennessee is sprawling with patrons just after 8pm on a dismal Friday evening. Of course, Friday means payday, and at Walmart, you’d better believe this shit is better than cable TV. Walmart in Tennessee, no less. Everyone and their uncle Steve is at this fucking Walmart it seems. People coming and going left and right. Buying groceries, beer, cigarettes, dart boards, scrapbook material, weedwhacker string… You get it! It’s fucking Walmart! There is your standard ghetto kid standing at the door with his baggy ass basketball shorts hanging down around his knees, his miniscule cock can be seen under his dirty underwear. He’s also equipped with his stained white flat brim hat on cocked to the left and SIDEWAYS. In this kid’s mind, he’s the epitome of FUCKING AWESOME.
Of course, we all know he is absolutely not. This motherfucker is as cool as AIDS.
He’s wheeling and dealing though, trying to bum a smoke, or a few dollars for a bus ticket. This bitch ain’t letting anyone get by him without grilling them for a handout. Most ignore him, some look on with disgust and humiliation, while SOME give him a few bucks. One dude takes a cig right out of his mouth mid drag and hands it over to him. He smiles as he tosses the half smoked cigarette in his mouth taking a haul off it.
Ghetto kid: YOOO!
We see Chad Vargas approaching. Vargas eyes him up and down with ABSOLUTE REPUGNANCE. The kid in all of his utter cools smirks like a bad ass. Vargas stops directly before him, looks at him dead in the eye.
Vargas: FUCK YOU, PUSSY!
At that very moment, this sorry sack of shit’s ego is completely deflated. He fades back into the storefront and takes a seat on the bench. Vargas smiles and nods, as he sarcastically bids him good day as he walks into the store.
Why do you suppose a HIGHROLLER such as Chad Vargas shop at fucking Wallyword?!
Who knows. Who cares. The reason why rich people stay rich, is because they don’t spend their money! And when they do, they by cheap ass shit.
Walmart has came such a long way from what it was when we we’re young lads. Used to be if you shown up to school with a pair of kicks from Walmart, you we’re ONE HUNDRED percent getting your ass beat and ridiculed the rest of your entire high school career. BUT, times, they are a changin’ Now adays we got boys wearing women’s panties and being called BRAVE.
Holy fuck!!! Think about for that a moment people?
My grandpappy used to say, “This country is going to hell in a hand basket!” Goodness gracious, scooter, was that man ever absolutely fucking correct!
Some people are just like bugs, and need to be exterminated. Revelation IS coming, ladies and gentlemen! ONLY the RIGHTEOUS will survive!!!
Vargas is seen steam rolling his shopping cart down the beer and wine aisle. He’s already got 3 cases of BUD HEAVY in the cart as he cruises down the aisle, stopping real quick to toss a bag of Doritos atop his alcohol. As he pushes the cart, it makes a hellacious sound, because, like every fucking Walmart, the cart’s wheels don’t roll right and nobody has trashed it yet. Vargas sighs as he makes his way throughout the aisle. An obese white chick wearing a THONG and a halter top comes around the corner. Vargas looks appalled. He can’t figure out what’s bigger, those tits or that FUPA? The Confederate Icon cannot believe his eyes. He shakes his head, trying to shake the sight from his imaging system. Just then, a black guy comes around the corner holding a rotisserie chicken.
Guy: YO BABE! HOW MANY STAMPS WE GOT LEFT?!
Vargas: TYPICAL!!!
Vargas hauls ass out of that aisle before he pukes. He shops around a little bit longer before realizing he has all he needs for this trip.
This shopping journey is finally capped off. Vargas whistles as he works toward the front of the store to the checkout counters. He walks past all of the cash registers, wouldn’t you know? As busy as this fucking store is, they only have ONE fuckin’ cash register open!? Vargas sighs loudly as he nears his cart to the only self-checkout line. He shakes his head as he makes a comment loud enough for the nearby employee to hear.
Vargas: These motherfuckers gonna put me on payroll? After working all fucking day I’ve gotta also work for Walmart and check my own fuckin’ groceries!?
The young millennial bitch gives Vargas a dirty look as she herself shakes her head. It’s also comical that Chad Vargas calls cases of beer and Doritos groceries. Vargas does his thing and angrily swipes his items through the scanner, throwing his shit back into the counter. He pulls his debit card from his wallet and stuffs it into the machine as he goes through all the motions to pay for his items. The receipt prints out of the machine as Vargas stuffs it into his pants pocket. He hauls ass for the door, just as he gets to the door and Hispanic employee approaches.
Employee: Receipt?
Vargas no sells this dumb sum bitch as he blows him off and continues for the door. But, before he can break the threshold, the employee places his hand on Vargas’ cart, stopping his motion.
Employee: See Receipt. SIR!
Vargas smirks as he looks this guy dead in his eyes.
Vargas: FUCK OFF, BITCH! Do you have a warrant!
This un-American pile of shit doesn’t get it. He’s blindly following his boss’s orders and vehemently willingly violates the Fourth Amendment by intrusively grasping for Vargas’ receipt.
Employee: Walmart POLICY! MUST SEE IT!
At this point, the employee royally fucks up by grabbing for Vargas’ receipt from his hand. By sheer principal alone at this point, there is absolutely NO WAY anyone is going to see his receipt. Of all the 100 cameras in the store, it is unnecessary to look over one’s receipt. Walmart’s store policy is a simple request, not a LAW. There is nowhere that states Vargas HAS to show this fucking idiot anything. But, we have someone here blindly following orders attempting to work on behalf of feelings then law. Some guy that isn’t even from AMERICA and doesn’t value the fact that we are all FREE. The employee pushes the receipt thing too far, before Vargas suddenly SNAPS.
Vargas: You done fucked up, boy!
Out of nowhere, Vargas throws the world’s nastiest head butt at this poor bastard. He literally obliterates the Walmart employee, taking him OUT of his shoes, splitting his face in half and breaking his nose to pieces as he falls down to the floor with a thud! Vargas, who underestimated his power looks down at the fallen guy. Patrons scream as they scatter. Vargas shrugs.
Vargas: I don’t show receipts.
Vargas nonchalantly pushes his cart out of the store and heads toward his truck as police sirens can be heard approaching in the distance.