Post by Savage on Nov 13, 2019 17:31:52 GMT -6
Oh, this is what I get for eating all that fucking kale...*hruugh*!
Tony's bathroom
10/13/2019 4:45 P.M.
It was almost a marquee night at High Rollers for Tony Savage. I mean, what a night...
He helped orchestrate the biggest fight of the night, the Unsanctioned match that had the industry buzzing. He pushed Duce to limits he wasn't accustomed to from GCWA opponents. He himself proved to the world after months on the bench, he was still one of the toughest, most battle hardened sons of bitches to ever step foot onto ring canvas in this era.
Sadly, he came up short. It happens from time to time. No excuses, no bullshit. Duce was just a bit better that night.
Tony'd be the first to tell you; back in the day, this scenario would have been frustrating. He didn't always handle his career with as much care as he should have. Between occasional social media meltdowns or beef with management, he did have a rep for not being the most professional.
Thankfully, he made it to sensible shoe age and learned a few things along the way. Considering the palace he lives in, putting the "professional" in professional wrestler paid off. Although, the fact he's cutting a promo WHILE HE'S ON THE SHITTER, it proves he still goes gutter from time to time.
Especially when the cameraman pisses off his old lady by jamming a camera in her face while she was waking up...
Dude, I'm so sorry. Please, can't we do this somewhere less...*gags from the smell*...a biological hazard site? Christ, what do you eat?
Yup, GCWA employee Kenny Cameraman (Tony never bothered to figure out his last name) learned the hard way the Mrs. Dr. Savage is never in the mood for a lens in her face before her second cup of coffee in the morning. Kenny learned all sorts of fun, salty British derogatory terms, followed by this punishment...
For opposition of a certain quality, (i.e., trash, like this dude from the Road Warriors tribute band) he likes to punish said opposition like his toilet bowl; by absolutely SHITTING on them!
And judging by his scowl and the bruises on his face as he takes the Browns to the super bowl, reading his new copy of Guns and Ammo, he's got a load of fecal matter to dump on somebody stupid enough to trifle with him this week.
The text...*grunts*...was very specific: do NOT bother the missus during breakfast. All you had to do is...*grunt, followed by a splash in the water*..keep your mouth shut, eat you eggs and English muffin, and behave. But OH NO, you just had to ask her a question before she's even had a chance to slap on her makeup.
But this seems really harsh...*gags*...cruel and unusual punishment...
Tony adjusts his towel over his lap; he doesn't need the girlfriends of GCWA fans to cry out the wrong name during sex by showing off the Pants Cannon.
You know what's cruel and unusual? No Nut November, bub! She's pretty much had the finger on that launch button since I fucked around with explosives a few days ago. Last thing I need is some lens jockey getting my prescription for pussy voided by the Doc because he can't follow instructions!
Tony's bowels let loose a sound similar to a whoopie cushion getting stomped on. It's a good thing they don't have Smell-O-Vision; it would KILL the fed's ratings!
So horrible...like, burning PVC pipe thrown into a Red Lobster dumpster.
Yah, kind of smells like if a fart was able to take a shit, huh? That's the drawback of eating pure; fucking organic grub makes your colon brownies a little pungent!
He farts loudly, laughing at Kenny.Blew you a little kiss, buddy. Just a reminder; if I get 3N status, you will be smelling this point blank range on the floor.
It looks like it's time to carry a grown man in face-paint to the bank. A lot of people would balk at having a match so soon after such a slaughter-fest. But unlike most of the roster, the composition of Tony's genitals isn't 337% pure vagina. This is why he's a certified bad-ass; he nuts up and does his job while other wrestlers get emergency pedicures.
Plus, Cassandra wants to redo the kitchen, which really irritates Tony. He doesn't hate the tile she picked out; it actually compliments the color scheme she's got going. But, they just got this place, and he already had to drop some cheddar to get their current set-up...
Sorry. Digressing. Can you blame me? It's Thunder he's facing this week. Not a whole lot to work with concerning these guys, besides constant failure and big shoulder-pads with foam rubber spikes protruding from them.
Tony puts down his magazine, gives birth to another bouncing brown baby, and...
So, which one am I facing this week; Left Nut, or Right Nut? Not really sure. Really not giving that much of a fuck.
After such an epic night at High Rollers, it's inevitable that the following Inferno would be weak. Let's face it; without me and Duce on the card, they might as well show a Greatest Hits episode, or maybe reruns of Two And A Half Men.
Because Jack Puffer and Xtreme just REEKS of ratings gold. I swears. *ugh*
Hold up; got another one waiting to take a dip in the pool...*grunts*...
Another splash in the bowl, and even Tony is offended by the stink of that last package.Fuck me sideways; I think I'm eating too many leafy vegetables.
He wafts some of that funk over to Kenny before he hits up the commode with some Febreeze.
Take note of that stench, Kenny; if I don't get fucked this month, you sure will!! I will power load on prune juice and kale in case Cass makes it clear the only stuffing I'll be do on Thanksgiving is stirring the Stove Top on the oven.
So, back to Left Nut...
Nice shoot, jackass. What, you and Random Jobber #113 couldn't afford a sandwich at Chik-Fil-A? Dad wouldn't let the film crew in the basement because mom'll get pissed off they messed up the carpet?
Jesus Christ, I can see why you two are 3 steps away from going back to Dyess Avenue in El Paso, buying fake cocaine from that creepy guy under an overpass before taking a 3 second nap at a high school gym...
And before you ask, Kenny; yes, I was stationed for a spell at Fort Bliss. They warned us about that guy during formation. Fake Cocaine Carl is a real thing.
Unlike this loser and his fellow Max max cosplay enthusiast.
Look at you two; salivating. You see a guy like me, banged up, a little down in the dumps...
And you jackasses thought: Free Pussy! Oh boy...
Tony gets this look on his face, like the school bully about to jack somebody's lunch money and duct tape them to the flagpole.
You two Legion of Doof members remind me of a guy I served with; Geoffy. Geoffy was a chump with women, couldn't talk to them right. SO, he came up with a "brilliant" strategy...
Brilliant, as in, it got his ass kicked and a starring role on his own series of fail vines on-line...
His dumb ass would show up to the club 15 minutes before closing and try to pick up the drunkest chick in the place. Vagina Vulture, we called him. Well, as you can imagine....hold up, I got some pressure building up in the pipeline...
He unleashes another Kraken into the porcelain sea; the sheer sonic impact of that deuce makes Kenny vomit a bit in his mouth.
Yeah, going to have to change up a couple of supplements; whatever Cass has me on is REALLY backing up the ol' gutter...
Yeah, predictably, Geoffy's stratagem usually resulted in restraining orders and stiletto heels dug into his junk at high speed. All because he was a sneaky little crawler that tried to cherry pick a seemingly weak prey...
Sounds familiar? Blunder, this week, you're Geoffy. You're the low rent vulture who thought he found a free fuck.
But, there's only the biggest DICK in the fed you're about to get slapped around with.
This week, you get to find out why I'm one of the hottest stars in the fed right now. I'm the type of guy that still fights a battle with bullets still stuck in him, while you two are opportunistic losers scrambling for a steady check.
I'm the type that leads, while you two follow. The type that can break you down and build you back up.
Let's face it, Thunder, if they cut me into 12 pieces, each piece of Tony Savage is 500 times the wrestler and man you are.
And you've caught me in a very, VERY bad mood.
Tony grabs a roll of toilet paper, unrolling a rather large wad of two ply and wadding it up.
Usually I like to dip it in the water to make it softer, but, yeesh...from the smell alone, I don't trust that batch.
I'm coming after you in that ring like you're Duce or Biff; loaded for bear. I'ma knock every drop of blush off your face, and any misconception you can even step into the same ring as me and compete against one of the finest competitors in the game out of your pointy head.
You tried to poach the wrong animal, Blunder. And once this human shit-storm rains acid on you, after all that bluster...
They're going to hear a sound in that ring after I pound you into paste.
Your career, and the flushing sound that follows it swirling down the drain.
He lets out one last gag inducing, eardrum bursting toot, and grins.
Feel free to do that in your wrestling trunks anytime during our match. Trust me; if I found out I had to fight me in this mood...
I'd be shitting myself, too!
The promo ends. Kenny gets to leave as Tony begins to wipe. He doesn't need to see that.
Judging by the gagging and stink face, he's learned his lesson.
(Word count: 1721.)
Tony's bathroom
10/13/2019 4:45 P.M.
It was almost a marquee night at High Rollers for Tony Savage. I mean, what a night...
He helped orchestrate the biggest fight of the night, the Unsanctioned match that had the industry buzzing. He pushed Duce to limits he wasn't accustomed to from GCWA opponents. He himself proved to the world after months on the bench, he was still one of the toughest, most battle hardened sons of bitches to ever step foot onto ring canvas in this era.
Sadly, he came up short. It happens from time to time. No excuses, no bullshit. Duce was just a bit better that night.
Tony'd be the first to tell you; back in the day, this scenario would have been frustrating. He didn't always handle his career with as much care as he should have. Between occasional social media meltdowns or beef with management, he did have a rep for not being the most professional.
Thankfully, he made it to sensible shoe age and learned a few things along the way. Considering the palace he lives in, putting the "professional" in professional wrestler paid off. Although, the fact he's cutting a promo WHILE HE'S ON THE SHITTER, it proves he still goes gutter from time to time.
Especially when the cameraman pisses off his old lady by jamming a camera in her face while she was waking up...
Dude, I'm so sorry. Please, can't we do this somewhere less...*gags from the smell*...a biological hazard site? Christ, what do you eat?
Yup, GCWA employee Kenny Cameraman (Tony never bothered to figure out his last name) learned the hard way the Mrs. Dr. Savage is never in the mood for a lens in her face before her second cup of coffee in the morning. Kenny learned all sorts of fun, salty British derogatory terms, followed by this punishment...
For opposition of a certain quality, (i.e., trash, like this dude from the Road Warriors tribute band) he likes to punish said opposition like his toilet bowl; by absolutely SHITTING on them!
And judging by his scowl and the bruises on his face as he takes the Browns to the super bowl, reading his new copy of Guns and Ammo, he's got a load of fecal matter to dump on somebody stupid enough to trifle with him this week.
The text...*grunts*...was very specific: do NOT bother the missus during breakfast. All you had to do is...*grunt, followed by a splash in the water*..keep your mouth shut, eat you eggs and English muffin, and behave. But OH NO, you just had to ask her a question before she's even had a chance to slap on her makeup.
But this seems really harsh...*gags*...cruel and unusual punishment...
Tony adjusts his towel over his lap; he doesn't need the girlfriends of GCWA fans to cry out the wrong name during sex by showing off the Pants Cannon.
You know what's cruel and unusual? No Nut November, bub! She's pretty much had the finger on that launch button since I fucked around with explosives a few days ago. Last thing I need is some lens jockey getting my prescription for pussy voided by the Doc because he can't follow instructions!
Tony's bowels let loose a sound similar to a whoopie cushion getting stomped on. It's a good thing they don't have Smell-O-Vision; it would KILL the fed's ratings!
So horrible...like, burning PVC pipe thrown into a Red Lobster dumpster.
Yah, kind of smells like if a fart was able to take a shit, huh? That's the drawback of eating pure; fucking organic grub makes your colon brownies a little pungent!
He farts loudly, laughing at Kenny.Blew you a little kiss, buddy. Just a reminder; if I get 3N status, you will be smelling this point blank range on the floor.
It looks like it's time to carry a grown man in face-paint to the bank. A lot of people would balk at having a match so soon after such a slaughter-fest. But unlike most of the roster, the composition of Tony's genitals isn't 337% pure vagina. This is why he's a certified bad-ass; he nuts up and does his job while other wrestlers get emergency pedicures.
Plus, Cassandra wants to redo the kitchen, which really irritates Tony. He doesn't hate the tile she picked out; it actually compliments the color scheme she's got going. But, they just got this place, and he already had to drop some cheddar to get their current set-up...
Sorry. Digressing. Can you blame me? It's Thunder he's facing this week. Not a whole lot to work with concerning these guys, besides constant failure and big shoulder-pads with foam rubber spikes protruding from them.
Tony puts down his magazine, gives birth to another bouncing brown baby, and...
So, which one am I facing this week; Left Nut, or Right Nut? Not really sure. Really not giving that much of a fuck.
After such an epic night at High Rollers, it's inevitable that the following Inferno would be weak. Let's face it; without me and Duce on the card, they might as well show a Greatest Hits episode, or maybe reruns of Two And A Half Men.
Because Jack Puffer and Xtreme just REEKS of ratings gold. I swears. *ugh*
Hold up; got another one waiting to take a dip in the pool...*grunts*...
Another splash in the bowl, and even Tony is offended by the stink of that last package.Fuck me sideways; I think I'm eating too many leafy vegetables.
He wafts some of that funk over to Kenny before he hits up the commode with some Febreeze.
Take note of that stench, Kenny; if I don't get fucked this month, you sure will!! I will power load on prune juice and kale in case Cass makes it clear the only stuffing I'll be do on Thanksgiving is stirring the Stove Top on the oven.
So, back to Left Nut...
Nice shoot, jackass. What, you and Random Jobber #113 couldn't afford a sandwich at Chik-Fil-A? Dad wouldn't let the film crew in the basement because mom'll get pissed off they messed up the carpet?
Jesus Christ, I can see why you two are 3 steps away from going back to Dyess Avenue in El Paso, buying fake cocaine from that creepy guy under an overpass before taking a 3 second nap at a high school gym...
And before you ask, Kenny; yes, I was stationed for a spell at Fort Bliss. They warned us about that guy during formation. Fake Cocaine Carl is a real thing.
Unlike this loser and his fellow Max max cosplay enthusiast.
Look at you two; salivating. You see a guy like me, banged up, a little down in the dumps...
And you jackasses thought: Free Pussy! Oh boy...
Tony gets this look on his face, like the school bully about to jack somebody's lunch money and duct tape them to the flagpole.
You two Legion of Doof members remind me of a guy I served with; Geoffy. Geoffy was a chump with women, couldn't talk to them right. SO, he came up with a "brilliant" strategy...
Brilliant, as in, it got his ass kicked and a starring role on his own series of fail vines on-line...
His dumb ass would show up to the club 15 minutes before closing and try to pick up the drunkest chick in the place. Vagina Vulture, we called him. Well, as you can imagine....hold up, I got some pressure building up in the pipeline...
He unleashes another Kraken into the porcelain sea; the sheer sonic impact of that deuce makes Kenny vomit a bit in his mouth.
Yeah, going to have to change up a couple of supplements; whatever Cass has me on is REALLY backing up the ol' gutter...
Yeah, predictably, Geoffy's stratagem usually resulted in restraining orders and stiletto heels dug into his junk at high speed. All because he was a sneaky little crawler that tried to cherry pick a seemingly weak prey...
Sounds familiar? Blunder, this week, you're Geoffy. You're the low rent vulture who thought he found a free fuck.
But, there's only the biggest DICK in the fed you're about to get slapped around with.
This week, you get to find out why I'm one of the hottest stars in the fed right now. I'm the type of guy that still fights a battle with bullets still stuck in him, while you two are opportunistic losers scrambling for a steady check.
I'm the type that leads, while you two follow. The type that can break you down and build you back up.
Let's face it, Thunder, if they cut me into 12 pieces, each piece of Tony Savage is 500 times the wrestler and man you are.
And you've caught me in a very, VERY bad mood.
Tony grabs a roll of toilet paper, unrolling a rather large wad of two ply and wadding it up.
Usually I like to dip it in the water to make it softer, but, yeesh...from the smell alone, I don't trust that batch.
I'm coming after you in that ring like you're Duce or Biff; loaded for bear. I'ma knock every drop of blush off your face, and any misconception you can even step into the same ring as me and compete against one of the finest competitors in the game out of your pointy head.
You tried to poach the wrong animal, Blunder. And once this human shit-storm rains acid on you, after all that bluster...
They're going to hear a sound in that ring after I pound you into paste.
Your career, and the flushing sound that follows it swirling down the drain.
He lets out one last gag inducing, eardrum bursting toot, and grins.
Feel free to do that in your wrestling trunks anytime during our match. Trust me; if I found out I had to fight me in this mood...
I'd be shitting myself, too!
The promo ends. Kenny gets to leave as Tony begins to wipe. He doesn't need to see that.
Judging by the gagging and stink face, he's learned his lesson.
(Word count: 1721.)
