Post by zybala on Dec 5, 2019 16:51:39 GMT -6
: The scene opens up on a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and people are greeting each other cheerfully on the street as they pass by. Everything just feels right in the world. Nothing can ruin such a picturesque day…… Nothing except Anti-Abortion Bible Thumpers. That's where today's adventure takes us. There is a group of those cherry picking the Bible people standing outside a local Planned Parenthood clinic with their usual signs; shouting and shaming anyone who crosses the buildings threshold. One of them spots a new target and the group gets riled up to verbally attack. As the person gets closer, the bluster leaves the group as they see that their intended victim isn't a woman, but a man carrying a lunch bag. This is no average man though. The person is GCWA undefeated superstar and future North American champion, Mike Zybala! The group starts to mutter as Zybala doesn't enter the building, but instead heads right towards the Anti-abortioners. Zybala stops right in front of the group and just stares at them. After a few minutes pass, the group gets us getting a bit antsy; as they are usually the ones casting judgement, not the other way around. One of the males decides to speak up. :
Man: Can we help you, sir?
Zybala: I surely hope so. Let me ask you folk a few questions first.
: The group murmur a bit. This is highly unusual for them. They are used to people yelling at them, or slinking shamefully past them. But calm questions? This goes against the norm. The man nods at Zybala to continue. :
Zybala: Why do you folks hang out here day after day?
Man: To protest the murder of innocent unborn babies. It's against the word of the Bible.
Zybala: So is wearing clothes that are made of two different materials, but that's neither here nor there. Next question. Let's get rid of the fact that clinics like these actually serve as an OBGYN for those who can't really afford to go to doctors, and just focus on the abortion side. Who do you think frequent here the most?
: The group converses among themselves for a bit. Who DOES come here the most? One lady chimes up. :
Lady: Teenagers?
Man: Whores and hookers?
Another Lady: Protestant heathens??
70ish Old Man: The blacks!
: The whole group gasp and turn to stare at the old timer. They glare at him until he shamefully hangs his head and walks away. The group then turns towards Zybala. :
Zybala: All good guesses, but all wrong. Let me give you a hint. Who would be the last person that you would want to be impregnated by?
Man: A family member??
Zybala: Exactamando! Incest babies would be number one on the list! What else would bring the most shame than that?
: The group nods in agreement. That would be the most shameful. One of the group speaks up. :
Lady: What does that have to do with anything though? All abortion is evil.
Zybala: What if I could help you folks prevent a future abortion from happening? An incestuous one?
Man: Go on...
Zybala: As you may or may not know, I'm wrestling legend Mike Zybala. From championships to Hall of Fames; I've done it all. I just happen to have a match this Friday against a brother/sister tag team at the GCWA arena downtown Dallas. I would like to give you folks front row tickets to help me shame The Goldblums for their incestuous ways.
Lady: How do you know that they do….."that"?
Zybala: Well, from what I've seen, they spend all their time together, call their grandfather "Grandpappy" and hail from the most inbred part of Canada; Windsor, Ontario. If that doesn't scream that they're one step away from trying to abort their little son/nephew or daughter/niece, I don't know what does! Besides, my tag partner says that the Goldblums are bumping uglies, and Mack O'Connor is usually spot on about stuff like that. He can sniff out incest like a trained dog can sniff out drugs. It's actually pretty unsettling.
: The protesters nod at Zybala's infallible logic. They then gather in a huddle and talk amongst themselves for a while before turning back to face Zybala. :
Man: We will join you on your crusade to prevent the incest babies. No child should be its own cousin. But how are we going to get in the front row? Surely the show is sold out by now.
Zybala: No problem there. I have you guys covered!
: With that, Zybala opens up his lunch bag and rummages through it. He eventually pulls out a small stack of tickets, accidentally pulling out and dropping a book in the process. One of the ladies pick up the book as Zybala hands the tickets to the man he was talking to. She looks at the cover and reads the title aloud. :
Lady: "Of Mice and Men"?
Zybala: (taking the book from her as she hands it over) Yep. It's a little bit of research for my next match.
Lady: How does a literary classic help you prepare for anything to do with wrestling?
Zybala: Well, the two main characters are like my upcoming opponents. The sister Adi is like George. She is the brains of the duo and basically her brother's handler. Fisher is the Lennie of the pair, almost scariley to a perfect match. He's big, tall, strong and as mentally sharp as a rubber ball. He's the only reason why I'm slightly concerned about the match. I have naturally soft hair, good genetics in my family, and he might try to pet my head; thinking my hair is as soft as a kitty. The big, dumb ox might break my neck by accident! Maybe I'll just let Mack fight him. He's bald so there won't be any confusion. Or maybe I'll try to convince Fisher that Hood has been right all along about me being a ghost! Fisher will be so scared of me that he'll probably just run away screaming scared. That would leave poor Adi all by herself.
Thought it doesn't matter to me whether I face off against Adi or Fisher or both. I've seen both of them lose matches recently so I know exactly how to beat them from that recent footage, and if you add my sixteen years experience in the ring, then add a dash of Mack, you get a winning recipe for Team Non-Incest. I plan on continuing my undefeated streak at the expense of The Goldblums!
: The Bible Thumpers just stare at Zybala as he ends his little rant. He looks a little embarrassed as he gives the group a nod. Zybala then turns and leaves the group to their hate mongering of unfortunate ladies as the scene fades to black. :
Man: Can we help you, sir?
Zybala: I surely hope so. Let me ask you folk a few questions first.
: The group murmur a bit. This is highly unusual for them. They are used to people yelling at them, or slinking shamefully past them. But calm questions? This goes against the norm. The man nods at Zybala to continue. :
Zybala: Why do you folks hang out here day after day?
Man: To protest the murder of innocent unborn babies. It's against the word of the Bible.
Zybala: So is wearing clothes that are made of two different materials, but that's neither here nor there. Next question. Let's get rid of the fact that clinics like these actually serve as an OBGYN for those who can't really afford to go to doctors, and just focus on the abortion side. Who do you think frequent here the most?
: The group converses among themselves for a bit. Who DOES come here the most? One lady chimes up. :
Lady: Teenagers?
Man: Whores and hookers?
Another Lady: Protestant heathens??
70ish Old Man: The blacks!
: The whole group gasp and turn to stare at the old timer. They glare at him until he shamefully hangs his head and walks away. The group then turns towards Zybala. :
Zybala: All good guesses, but all wrong. Let me give you a hint. Who would be the last person that you would want to be impregnated by?
Man: A family member??
Zybala: Exactamando! Incest babies would be number one on the list! What else would bring the most shame than that?
: The group nods in agreement. That would be the most shameful. One of the group speaks up. :
Lady: What does that have to do with anything though? All abortion is evil.
Zybala: What if I could help you folks prevent a future abortion from happening? An incestuous one?
Man: Go on...
Zybala: As you may or may not know, I'm wrestling legend Mike Zybala. From championships to Hall of Fames; I've done it all. I just happen to have a match this Friday against a brother/sister tag team at the GCWA arena downtown Dallas. I would like to give you folks front row tickets to help me shame The Goldblums for their incestuous ways.
Lady: How do you know that they do….."that"?
Zybala: Well, from what I've seen, they spend all their time together, call their grandfather "Grandpappy" and hail from the most inbred part of Canada; Windsor, Ontario. If that doesn't scream that they're one step away from trying to abort their little son/nephew or daughter/niece, I don't know what does! Besides, my tag partner says that the Goldblums are bumping uglies, and Mack O'Connor is usually spot on about stuff like that. He can sniff out incest like a trained dog can sniff out drugs. It's actually pretty unsettling.
: The protesters nod at Zybala's infallible logic. They then gather in a huddle and talk amongst themselves for a while before turning back to face Zybala. :
Man: We will join you on your crusade to prevent the incest babies. No child should be its own cousin. But how are we going to get in the front row? Surely the show is sold out by now.
Zybala: No problem there. I have you guys covered!
: With that, Zybala opens up his lunch bag and rummages through it. He eventually pulls out a small stack of tickets, accidentally pulling out and dropping a book in the process. One of the ladies pick up the book as Zybala hands the tickets to the man he was talking to. She looks at the cover and reads the title aloud. :
Lady: "Of Mice and Men"?
Zybala: (taking the book from her as she hands it over) Yep. It's a little bit of research for my next match.
Lady: How does a literary classic help you prepare for anything to do with wrestling?
Zybala: Well, the two main characters are like my upcoming opponents. The sister Adi is like George. She is the brains of the duo and basically her brother's handler. Fisher is the Lennie of the pair, almost scariley to a perfect match. He's big, tall, strong and as mentally sharp as a rubber ball. He's the only reason why I'm slightly concerned about the match. I have naturally soft hair, good genetics in my family, and he might try to pet my head; thinking my hair is as soft as a kitty. The big, dumb ox might break my neck by accident! Maybe I'll just let Mack fight him. He's bald so there won't be any confusion. Or maybe I'll try to convince Fisher that Hood has been right all along about me being a ghost! Fisher will be so scared of me that he'll probably just run away screaming scared. That would leave poor Adi all by herself.
Thought it doesn't matter to me whether I face off against Adi or Fisher or both. I've seen both of them lose matches recently so I know exactly how to beat them from that recent footage, and if you add my sixteen years experience in the ring, then add a dash of Mack, you get a winning recipe for Team Non-Incest. I plan on continuing my undefeated streak at the expense of The Goldblums!
: The Bible Thumpers just stare at Zybala as he ends his little rant. He looks a little embarrassed as he gives the group a nod. Zybala then turns and leaves the group to their hate mongering of unfortunate ladies as the scene fades to black. :