Post by Lurrr on Sept 4, 2019 12:56:08 GMT -6
~The scene opens with a full view of a dining room table. As the view widen we notice all kinds of different hor ‘dourves sitting on this dining room table. We see deviled eggs with mini-footballs designed on them. We see a large fruit salad that sits inside the outside of a watermelon that has been designed in the shape of a football helmet with the Dallas Cowboys logo on the outside of the watermelon. Cookies designed like miniature footballs. And even cocktails that have been made and poured into football themed glasses. All of this looks to be put together for some type of party but where the hell are we? What is the meaning of all these football themed delicatessens? The scene shifts as we the GCWA Hall of Famer Lurrr walking into the dining room area along with his trusty sidekick Rick Mathis. Lurrr is wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey that is missing its sleeves along with skin tight jeans and a cowboy hat~
Lurrr: Jesus Christ I hate these fucking jeans!!! Why the hell are they so tight? And last time I had a jersey on they came with sleeves what the hell is going on here? We are in Dallas, Texas and you have me at the Mayor’s house in this Oak Cliff suburban neighborhood!!!!
Rick Mathis: Look man I told you we were having to pick up these awful odd ball jobs because you’re getting a shit deal with GCWA since they reopened and expenditures with the revamped company are tight.
~Lurrr looks at the hor ’dourves and grabs a cookie taking a bite of it with a very sad face~
Lurrr: Well I beat that fat ass last week to start this round-robin tournament off right so we should have a little pocket money??
Rick Mathis: We spent it already! The money doesn’t go real far when you are spending it on hookers and blow!!!
~Lurrr shrugs his shoulders as to say at least he had a good time~
Rick Mathis: And to be honest with you I didn’t think I was going to have to go online to find your next gig because I thought we would get contacted for appearances but I told you word of mouth about your little high school appearance last week got around that you and public appearances aren’t usually the best thing.
Lurrr: What you found this gig online??
Rick Mathis: Yeah pretty weird that it ended up being the mayor’s wife. She must be a freak because she specifically requested the jeans and cut off sleeves.
Lurrr: Well whatever let’s hopefully get this done quickly. I am ready for a more subdued atmosphere…. I hear Dallas has some of the best strip joints??
Rick Mathis: Look don’t get all high and mighty cause you beat Bifford. You still have to get past The Lost Soul and Ed Houston before you go running back to the strip joints and spending all damn money before you can even make it.
Lurrr: Oh yeah two guys who can’t beat me…. Don’t even get me started with my opponent this week on Inferno. I mean at least last week Bifford could say that he has beaten me and that it would be a competitive match. The Lost Soul should have absolutely zero confidence coming into Friday Night. I mean good god between the GCWA and more recently the OCW I think he is like 0-200 against me. It’s an absolute joke that I even have to go through The Lost Soul to reclaim my GCWA World Championship!!!!
~Suddenly the mayor’s wife comes into the dining room~
Mayor’s Wife: Ok fellas we will be ready for you in just a few minutes. Please go ahead and enjoy the snacks and please indulge in the cocktails!!!
~The woman walks past Lurrr and spanks him on his ass. Lurrr quickly hops away in fear. The woman walks away trembling with excitement as she goes back in the main living area with a lot of chatter from her other female friends. Lurrr looks at her while rubbing his ass~
Lurrr: Alright man what the fuck is this? What did that ad say?
Rick Mathis: Oh you mean the craigslist ad?
Lurrr: Craiglist ad? Are you crazy?? Those adds are filled with psycho serial killers!!!
Rick Mathis: Chill out man. All it said was seeking a muscular male to place labels on a board for a recreational activity.
Lurrr: What the hell kind of ad description is that??? That is so broad it could be anything. You have all this football themed shit in here, she requests I wear a Dallas Cowboys jersey, and they define it as recreational??? I mean you have like the Real Housewives of Lurrr’s Nightmare in there!!! They are all in their 50’s…. what if they try to gang rape me or something???
Rick Mathis: Well at least the Cowboys were able to lock in Zeke this morning…..
Lurrr: Your serious right now?
Rick Mathis: Look it’s going to be fine.
Lurrr: It better be…. I don’t need one these grandmas to fuck with me while I have all this other shit on my mind. We have money issues, I got Derek Mobley running around acting like he still has the right to call himself a champion, I have The Accelerator’s nut sack creations trying to bring in new talent so they don’t have to push guys like me, and for some fucking reason the GCWA thinks The Lost Soul should get a 1,000th match with me to lose again. Just give me the damn week off so I can prep for a proper Main Event match.
Rick Mathis: Well even if you are having to match up against an unworthy opponent who you have beaten countless times this Friday night at least you are getting paid. And I am not going to lie it was good to be back pissing off all the fans, showing them who the real faces of the GCWA had been before the last time they shut their doors.
Lurrr: Yeah once I get that GCWA World Championship back around my waist we can get back to where we had it before it shut down. Everything was run the way the Roman Empire wanted it and there wasn’t anything management or any other opponent could do to stop it.
~Suddenly we hear the woman’s voice yell out from the living area~
Mayor’s Wife: Ok fellas we are ready for you!!! Make sure you give us a show when you come on in. We are going to play some music and want you to dance for us.
~Lurrr looks at Mathis and he rolls his eyes and looks down at the ground. He walks over to the table and grabs two of the cocktails chugging both as quickly as he can. Suddenly we hear the women begin to play a song. Lurrr listens closely and it looks at Mathis~
Lurrr: What the hell? Is that the Sunday Night Football song by that chick???
Rick Mathis: You mean Carrie Underwood???
Lurrr: I am not even going to justify that response with an answer…. Come on you know the singer??
~Mathis starts dancing towards the next room and Lurrr depressingly looks on. He knows that even though he’d rather cut one of his nuts off than do this…. Mathis is right they need the money, so Lurrr follows in dancing. As they dance into the room they are completely caught off guard noticing a large Fantasy Football Draft board sitting on an easel. Both men see 11 other women all decked out in their favorite NFL team gear… Eagles, Texans, Chiefs, Steelers, Cowboys, Patriots, just to name a few. Lurrr and Mathis look at each other almost with relief and realize this is just an all-women’s Fantasy Football league draft. Both guys start to get into their dancing even more knowing they are just here for looks. Lurrr takes the Cowboys jersey off and throws it into the crowd of women owners. The women go crazy!!~
Mayor’s Wife: Alright ladies welcome to the 2019 All-Women’s Fantasy draft!!! I thought we could have a couple of our own versions of Vanna White help put the players on the board this year!!!
~The women continue to go crazy and then turn the music off. Lurrr looks over at Mathis and nods. The first team owner begins to look over her rankings and seems to have decided on a player~
League Owner #1: Ok I am going to go with the dreamiest guy in the league…. Give me Jason Witten from the Dallas Cowboys!
~Lurrr looks weirdly at the women as if he wants to say “really.” He walks over grabs the sticker and puts it up at the top of the board~
Lurrr: With the first pick you have selected tight end from the Dallas Cowboys, Jason Witten. That pick is almost as bad as the beat down The Lost Soul received at Warriors of the Ring III when I won the X-Division Title.
Mayor’s Wife: Just put the stickers up on the board and shake that ass!!!
~Lurrr’s shrugs his shoulders and points at Mathis. Mathis is getting ready to pull the next sticker but is called off~
Mayor’s Wife: Oh no I want the smaller guy doing this not you.
~Lurrr kind of smiles, taking the compliment in stride, probably concerned about how long this is going to take. The next team owner with the second pick highlights a name, assuming the player she is fixing to take~
League Owner #2: Ok with my pick I am going to take that beautiful man Tom Brady!!!
Lurrr: What??? Come on that’s as bad as the time I embarrassed The Lost Soul at Darkness Falls where I beat him again for the X-Division Title.
Mayor’s Wife: Just put the sticker on the board and give us a little shake!!!
~The women start cheering again as Lurrr reluctantly shakes and puts Drew Brees up on the board for the second overall pick. Lurrr looks over at Mathis who is now just sitting with the ladies sipping on a cocktail and watching as well~
Lurrr: What the hell he doesn’t have to be up here anymore??
Mayor’s Wife: Just keep your mouth shut I didn’t pay to hear you talk!!!
~Lurrr now feeling degraded throws his hands up and awaits the next awful pick~
League Owner #3: Ok girls you know I love this man!!! I am going to take Rob Gronkoski I love the Gronk and his skimpy party outfits!!!!
Lurrr: Oh come on he isn’t even in the league!!! That’s just as bad as when I beat The Lost Soul on an Inferno for the Intercontinental Championship!!!
Mayor’s Wife: What is wrong with you can you not listen or take instruction??? You are fixing to lose your pay!!!
~Mathis looks at Lurrr trying to calm him down. Suddenly one of the women looks outside and sees a man walking up the sidewalk~
League Owner #4: I want Andrew Luck he is my favorite!!! And I thought you said your husband would be gone all afternoon so we could do this alone???
Lurrr: Really… Andrew Luck that as bad as…
Mayor’s Wife: Shut up you idiot!!! My husband is a former Navy Seal before he went into politics and he is going to be pissed so you guys need to get out of here!!!
~Lurrr and Mathis scramble but it’s too late. The mayor is in the house!!! All chaos breaks out as the man begins to scream wondering why there is a half-naked man in his house?? He starts throwing any type of furnishings that are in his way to the side trying to get to Lurrr who by now has no shirt or jeans on. Lurrr and Mathis scramble to find his clothes trying to sneak out the back. The scene ends with Lurrr and Mathis being chased out the back door by the Mayor. Unfortunately, the Mayor’s wife is holding up the cash she owes them but they leave without it! The scene fades to black as Lurrr and Mathis try to escape on their way to Lurrr’s second match-up with The Lost Soul in the World Title Round-Robin tournament~
Lurrr: Jesus Christ I hate these fucking jeans!!! Why the hell are they so tight? And last time I had a jersey on they came with sleeves what the hell is going on here? We are in Dallas, Texas and you have me at the Mayor’s house in this Oak Cliff suburban neighborhood!!!!
Rick Mathis: Look man I told you we were having to pick up these awful odd ball jobs because you’re getting a shit deal with GCWA since they reopened and expenditures with the revamped company are tight.
~Lurrr looks at the hor ’dourves and grabs a cookie taking a bite of it with a very sad face~
Lurrr: Well I beat that fat ass last week to start this round-robin tournament off right so we should have a little pocket money??
Rick Mathis: We spent it already! The money doesn’t go real far when you are spending it on hookers and blow!!!
~Lurrr shrugs his shoulders as to say at least he had a good time~
Rick Mathis: And to be honest with you I didn’t think I was going to have to go online to find your next gig because I thought we would get contacted for appearances but I told you word of mouth about your little high school appearance last week got around that you and public appearances aren’t usually the best thing.
Lurrr: What you found this gig online??
Rick Mathis: Yeah pretty weird that it ended up being the mayor’s wife. She must be a freak because she specifically requested the jeans and cut off sleeves.
Lurrr: Well whatever let’s hopefully get this done quickly. I am ready for a more subdued atmosphere…. I hear Dallas has some of the best strip joints??
Rick Mathis: Look don’t get all high and mighty cause you beat Bifford. You still have to get past The Lost Soul and Ed Houston before you go running back to the strip joints and spending all damn money before you can even make it.
Lurrr: Oh yeah two guys who can’t beat me…. Don’t even get me started with my opponent this week on Inferno. I mean at least last week Bifford could say that he has beaten me and that it would be a competitive match. The Lost Soul should have absolutely zero confidence coming into Friday Night. I mean good god between the GCWA and more recently the OCW I think he is like 0-200 against me. It’s an absolute joke that I even have to go through The Lost Soul to reclaim my GCWA World Championship!!!!
~Suddenly the mayor’s wife comes into the dining room~
Mayor’s Wife: Ok fellas we will be ready for you in just a few minutes. Please go ahead and enjoy the snacks and please indulge in the cocktails!!!
~The woman walks past Lurrr and spanks him on his ass. Lurrr quickly hops away in fear. The woman walks away trembling with excitement as she goes back in the main living area with a lot of chatter from her other female friends. Lurrr looks at her while rubbing his ass~
Lurrr: Alright man what the fuck is this? What did that ad say?
Rick Mathis: Oh you mean the craigslist ad?
Lurrr: Craiglist ad? Are you crazy?? Those adds are filled with psycho serial killers!!!
Rick Mathis: Chill out man. All it said was seeking a muscular male to place labels on a board for a recreational activity.
Lurrr: What the hell kind of ad description is that??? That is so broad it could be anything. You have all this football themed shit in here, she requests I wear a Dallas Cowboys jersey, and they define it as recreational??? I mean you have like the Real Housewives of Lurrr’s Nightmare in there!!! They are all in their 50’s…. what if they try to gang rape me or something???
Rick Mathis: Well at least the Cowboys were able to lock in Zeke this morning…..
Lurrr: Your serious right now?
Rick Mathis: Look it’s going to be fine.
Lurrr: It better be…. I don’t need one these grandmas to fuck with me while I have all this other shit on my mind. We have money issues, I got Derek Mobley running around acting like he still has the right to call himself a champion, I have The Accelerator’s nut sack creations trying to bring in new talent so they don’t have to push guys like me, and for some fucking reason the GCWA thinks The Lost Soul should get a 1,000th match with me to lose again. Just give me the damn week off so I can prep for a proper Main Event match.
Rick Mathis: Well even if you are having to match up against an unworthy opponent who you have beaten countless times this Friday night at least you are getting paid. And I am not going to lie it was good to be back pissing off all the fans, showing them who the real faces of the GCWA had been before the last time they shut their doors.
Lurrr: Yeah once I get that GCWA World Championship back around my waist we can get back to where we had it before it shut down. Everything was run the way the Roman Empire wanted it and there wasn’t anything management or any other opponent could do to stop it.
~Suddenly we hear the woman’s voice yell out from the living area~
Mayor’s Wife: Ok fellas we are ready for you!!! Make sure you give us a show when you come on in. We are going to play some music and want you to dance for us.
~Lurrr looks at Mathis and he rolls his eyes and looks down at the ground. He walks over to the table and grabs two of the cocktails chugging both as quickly as he can. Suddenly we hear the women begin to play a song. Lurrr listens closely and it looks at Mathis~
Lurrr: What the hell? Is that the Sunday Night Football song by that chick???
Rick Mathis: You mean Carrie Underwood???
Lurrr: I am not even going to justify that response with an answer…. Come on you know the singer??
~Mathis starts dancing towards the next room and Lurrr depressingly looks on. He knows that even though he’d rather cut one of his nuts off than do this…. Mathis is right they need the money, so Lurrr follows in dancing. As they dance into the room they are completely caught off guard noticing a large Fantasy Football Draft board sitting on an easel. Both men see 11 other women all decked out in their favorite NFL team gear… Eagles, Texans, Chiefs, Steelers, Cowboys, Patriots, just to name a few. Lurrr and Mathis look at each other almost with relief and realize this is just an all-women’s Fantasy Football league draft. Both guys start to get into their dancing even more knowing they are just here for looks. Lurrr takes the Cowboys jersey off and throws it into the crowd of women owners. The women go crazy!!~
Mayor’s Wife: Alright ladies welcome to the 2019 All-Women’s Fantasy draft!!! I thought we could have a couple of our own versions of Vanna White help put the players on the board this year!!!
~The women continue to go crazy and then turn the music off. Lurrr looks over at Mathis and nods. The first team owner begins to look over her rankings and seems to have decided on a player~
League Owner #1: Ok I am going to go with the dreamiest guy in the league…. Give me Jason Witten from the Dallas Cowboys!
~Lurrr looks weirdly at the women as if he wants to say “really.” He walks over grabs the sticker and puts it up at the top of the board~
Lurrr: With the first pick you have selected tight end from the Dallas Cowboys, Jason Witten. That pick is almost as bad as the beat down The Lost Soul received at Warriors of the Ring III when I won the X-Division Title.
Mayor’s Wife: Just put the stickers up on the board and shake that ass!!!
~Lurrr’s shrugs his shoulders and points at Mathis. Mathis is getting ready to pull the next sticker but is called off~
Mayor’s Wife: Oh no I want the smaller guy doing this not you.
~Lurrr kind of smiles, taking the compliment in stride, probably concerned about how long this is going to take. The next team owner with the second pick highlights a name, assuming the player she is fixing to take~
League Owner #2: Ok with my pick I am going to take that beautiful man Tom Brady!!!
Lurrr: What??? Come on that’s as bad as the time I embarrassed The Lost Soul at Darkness Falls where I beat him again for the X-Division Title.
Mayor’s Wife: Just put the sticker on the board and give us a little shake!!!
~The women start cheering again as Lurrr reluctantly shakes and puts Drew Brees up on the board for the second overall pick. Lurrr looks over at Mathis who is now just sitting with the ladies sipping on a cocktail and watching as well~
Lurrr: What the hell he doesn’t have to be up here anymore??
Mayor’s Wife: Just keep your mouth shut I didn’t pay to hear you talk!!!
~Lurrr now feeling degraded throws his hands up and awaits the next awful pick~
League Owner #3: Ok girls you know I love this man!!! I am going to take Rob Gronkoski I love the Gronk and his skimpy party outfits!!!!
Lurrr: Oh come on he isn’t even in the league!!! That’s just as bad as when I beat The Lost Soul on an Inferno for the Intercontinental Championship!!!
Mayor’s Wife: What is wrong with you can you not listen or take instruction??? You are fixing to lose your pay!!!
~Mathis looks at Lurrr trying to calm him down. Suddenly one of the women looks outside and sees a man walking up the sidewalk~
League Owner #4: I want Andrew Luck he is my favorite!!! And I thought you said your husband would be gone all afternoon so we could do this alone???
Lurrr: Really… Andrew Luck that as bad as…
Mayor’s Wife: Shut up you idiot!!! My husband is a former Navy Seal before he went into politics and he is going to be pissed so you guys need to get out of here!!!
~Lurrr and Mathis scramble but it’s too late. The mayor is in the house!!! All chaos breaks out as the man begins to scream wondering why there is a half-naked man in his house?? He starts throwing any type of furnishings that are in his way to the side trying to get to Lurrr who by now has no shirt or jeans on. Lurrr and Mathis scramble to find his clothes trying to sneak out the back. The scene ends with Lurrr and Mathis being chased out the back door by the Mayor. Unfortunately, the Mayor’s wife is holding up the cash she owes them but they leave without it! The scene fades to black as Lurrr and Mathis try to escape on their way to Lurrr’s second match-up with The Lost Soul in the World Title Round-Robin tournament~